I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1026 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1026 - the Outgoing Orificers Hash |
| When: | April 26, 2014 |
| Where: | 1703 School Lane, Wilmington, DE |
| Hares: | -Orificers- | Message |
| What? Hockessin Hash #1026, the Outgoing Orificers Hash When? Saturday, April 26, 2014, 3pm HST Who? Outgoing Mismanagement Where? James H. Groves Adult High School/Marshallton Education Center, 1703 School Lane, Wilmington, DE 19808 Why? Come meet the hashers who are hoping to mismanage us next D’erections: From 1-95, exit on DE-141 North towards Newport. Exit on DE-62/Newport Gap Pike/Boxwood Road. Turn left onto Boxwood Road, then a quick right onto Newport Gap Pike. Go 0.5 mile; turn left onto Old Capitol Trail. Take first left turn onto School Lane, the school is on the left Dog Friendly: Trail, yes, après, no What else: Tuesday, April 29, cum to the AGM! Elect new orificers! Eat, drink and be merry! The Charcoal Pit, Kirkwood Highway at Greenbank Road, 6:00 prelube in the lower parking lot. | Hashers |
| Asshopper Baby Jessica Bunion Butt Bunion's Bitch Butt Lite Butthead Cause for Blindness Chasez Boyz Cousin It Cribsnatcher Dead End Deadhead Devil Woman Dick Fingers Dirty Wet Pussy Famous Jack Flounder Hornblower Kum On Inn Lost Penis Mary Fucking Poppins Narcigism Seaman on the Poop Deck Seen Your Panties Skidmarks Slutmaster Smells Like Hash Spirit Spunk Monkey Strawberry Shortcake Subpeonis The International House of Virgins Toxic Shock Two Buck Fuck Wet Lay Wickwacker Wingnuts Woody Woodpecker Wreath Around | Hash Trash |
| Hockessin Hash #1026 So, the slobbering pack gathered up in the parking lot of James H. Groves Adult Highschool in the village of Marshallton, DE for the annual out-going officers hash, on the fine spring day of April the 26th, 2014 AD. And we had a larger showing than usual for this second to last Saturday hash of the season. Hashers Present, at some point: Dead End, Mary Fucking Poppins, Just JP, Strawberry Shortcake, Baby Jessica, Cause For Blindness, Flounder, Dirty Wet Pussy, Wingnuts, Chasez Boyz, The International House of Virgins, Wreath Around, Semen on the Poop Deck, Bunion Butt, Slutmaster, Butthead, Devil Woman, Wickwacker, Toxic Shock, Woody, Dead Head, Hornblower, Subpeonis, Asshopper, Bunions Bitch, Buttlite, Cousin It with Famous Jack, Narcigism, Just Kate, Two Buck Fuck, Kum on Inn, Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Cribsnatcher, Spunk Monkey, Seen Your Panties, and many, many others. Yes all the officers were present at the officers hash this day, And that included the two found guilty of laying the marks of this very shitty trail, Our outgoing GM, Wetlay, and Joint Master, Smells like Hash Spirit. We took our sweet time during the pre-lube, with no po-po in sight, enjoying our brews and getting this long delayed nomination process for the next group of officers going. After about half past 3 in the real world, our Grand Mistress Wet Lay got the chalk talk started and we were off. On! On! Trail went out of the parking lot, and across the foul smelling creek onto old capital trail road. We found a check with a mark or two going off to the right, but true trail was thus found going straight and onto the train tracks that we are always so fond of. As it turned out, trail didn’t go through that recently deforested acre of land nearby, buts that’s where most of the hashers in front of me ran, calling On! On!, and like a lemming I followed. On! On! Trail went back onto the train tracks. Now to explain what next happened. A): most of our hashers have a hard time following even a well marked trail. And B): Our trail was marked by the not very experienced Wet Lay, and the very experienced but directionally challenged Smells like Hash Spirit. And so after the 7th or 8th mark going straight down the railroad tracks, they expected us to see the not very visible one going off to the right, into somebody’s yard that Wet Lay claims we had permission to trespass through. With no arrow to inform us of this sudden turn. The hashers, both stupid and not, continued straight and found the next mark about 5 yards away from where we were supposed to turn, and the next one after that, and the next one after that. And this turned out to be a “No No”, for we were following what was supposed to be the end of the trail backwards. Anyway, it was all good, we only lost about 5 people do to that. And so, most of us followed the marks to a bridge we were under, where we were joined by some naughty teenagers who were smoking and drinking and whatnot. And this is where we got confused. Luckily for us our slow poke GM hurried as fast as she could to re-direct us back the way we came and it was On Hare! for a while after that. On Hare! Our GM shows me where we supposed to turn, going through somebody’s yard we went, getting some dogs upset we did. On Hare! Another very unclearly marked turn got us FRB’s confused again, Wet Lay helpfully draws an arrow marking the turn we were supposed to find, and this leads us to a few more marks. On! On! Trail goes out onto Box Wood road, past the Park and Ride and behind the Prices Corner Shopping center. Another invisible check gets us confused again, and we follow about 3 or 4 marks that lead no- where. And then its On! Hare! We go past the storefronts of Prices corner, then somehow on or under 141, and under Kirkwood highway, past the minimum security prison and out to Greenbank Mill Road where we find the first beer near, being “manned” for lack of a better term by Smells Like Hash Spirit and Wreath Around. We enjoyed our brews for a while, while trying to talley up the number of hashers lost do to that last..uh..mistake. They all found us eventually, except Bunion’s Bitch, I think. And icecream truck drove by, and so Kum On Inn who had no cash on her, bummed some off somebody, and violated the “No Icecream at a Beer Stop” guideline, that I decreed last summer. Shame on You! Kum on Inn. And so after some immeasurable length of time we were off again. On! On! Trail went up Greenbank Mill Road and across Rt. 41, where we saw the ominous, “Be Fucking Careful” mark. Trail went into a neighborhood, then down into a drainage ditch where we got to do some downhill rock climbing. Apparently our GM is more athletic than we thought. On! On! Trail followed the Red Clay Creek for a few yards, then went into a patch of shiggy, and out onto the lower parking lot of the Charcoal Pit where we found the second Beer Near mark, but….at least for a few minutes…no beer. For Smells Like Hash Spirit wisely or unwisely noticed her stash was getting low, so grabbed Spunk Monkey’s keys and went back to point A to grab another cooler. And it was only a few minutes that we were standing there, but you can’t expect hashers to be patient when it comes to beer. But this delay gave some time for two of our slow pokes Cause for Blindess and Flounder to catch up. And so Smells Like Hash Spirit arrived and was greeted with great applause, not realizing she was being cursed to hell moments earlier. And so we enjoyed our brews for a few. On! On! Trail went out onto Kirkwood Highway, and to the very same bridge that had confused us at the beginning of trail. So we went under the bridge following trail forwards this time, and those naughty teenagers were long gone by the time we got back. We followed the marks on the railroad tracks out to Old Capital Trail Road where the High school parking lot was in plain sight. But apparently it wasn’t visible for Asshopper and Narcigism, who ran past it and got lost for awhile, as if all of us hadn’t gotten lost enough. So these two FRB’s robbed Cause for Blindness for the “Last in” award and battled it out till the end, with Asshopper winning by a nose, for last in that is. We circled up. Awards and penalities were dished out. Woody was first in, of those who didn’t get lost and didn’t miss one of the beer stops, and Asshopper was last. Our visitors Wreath Around, from the White House Hash and Semen On the Poop Deck from the BFM entertained us with another song we don’t hear much around these parts. And so during this last circle of mine, I decided to audition Skidmarks, the running favorite for RA this year, to run the circle for a bit, to see if he still has it. He brought in Just JP, and after a very long, and very democratic, like way more democratic naming process than I would allow, Just JP was named Dick Fingers, maybe because he plays the trumpet or maybe for a million other reasons you sick fucks can think of. And so many other penalties were dished out, and I took back over circle. Us outgoing officers did a toast and then did our officer down-downs. And I thanked myself for the last time, for this fine weather I have been providing for you all for the last several years. At about the end of circle, we were joined by Seen Your Panties, but he was misinformed by somebody about which one of the Famous Taverns we were headed to. And so he was not seen again. It turned out to be Famous Pats, where we were joined by Butthead, who brought along with him some left-over food from the company picnic he had been at earlier. And in addition to this, we had some fine ribs and potato salad with quail eggs provided by Smells Like Hash Spirit, some vegetable soup, some chick pea thing with Pita Bread, MFP’s famous Deviled Eggs, and many other treats including some kick ass chocolate moose thing that was made by Prom Queen, who unfortunately couldn’t make the Apres. With the great deal of Pre-lubing, the two beer stops and the long, long circle we had a hard time exhausting the hash tab, for once, at Famous Pat’s, the home of the 3 dollar anything. All and all it was another shitty trail. But I’d like to reflect for a second. I have enjoyed being your RA and a major officer at this hash for the last several years. But it is time to step down and let somebody else fuck things up. To our new leaders, who ever you end up being, I’d like to advise you of this. This activity, that we enjoy, is supposed to be primarily for responsible adults looking to blow off some steam, get a little exercise, meet a few new friends, have a few beers, tell a few dirty jokes, and have a few laughs. This is not a swingers club. But neither is it a day care or a roaming version of the ASPCA. Virgins should not be pressured into performing pornographic acts, and neither should anybody who hasn’t been to the gym for a while- Well that’s just my opinion. But people who bring their kids and their dogs to this thing should realize that the hash is not responsible for the harm that may befoul their innocent ears. Individuals should not be forced to do more than 2 or 3 down-downs each. And even though, to some of you buffoons, that seems necessary, we don’t need anybody getting sick or crashing their car on the way home. And hares should not feel that it is necessary to put on a 5 course meal at the end of every trail. But if they would like to, it will be appreciated. On that Note: Stay tuned for the Annual General Meeting of the Hockessin Hash House Harriers this Tuesday. On! Out! Mary Fucking Poppins | |