I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 975 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #975 |
| When: | May 8, 2013 |
| Where: | 4317 Kirkwood Hwy, Wilmington, DE |
| Hares: | Woody Woodpecker | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #975 When: Wednesday, May 8, 2013 at 6:30pm Who: Woody Woodpecker, after a long hiatus Where: Goodwill, 4317 Kirkwood Hwy, Wilmington, DE D'erections: From I-95, take exit 5B onto DE-141 N toward Newport, go 0.7 mi. Take exit 6 for Route 2 West/Kirkwood Highway. Go 1.9 miles, turn right into the shopping center behind Applebee's and KFC, look for hashers. Lost or confused? Call the hare's assistant Dog Friendly: Trail, probably. Apres, no. Hash Cash: $5.00 | Hashers |
| Anything Butt Asshopper Bunion Butt Butthead Chasez Boyz Circle Jerk Cousin It Cribsnatcher Dead End Deadhead Devil Woman Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Gizz Specialist Groper Kum On Inn Lost Penis Lung Butter Mary Fucking Poppins Mount Me Narcigism Perfect Woman Pickle Dick Seen Your Panties Slutmaster Spunk Monkey The S&M Man The Wetter the Better Tinsel Tits Up the Rear Wet Lay Wickwacker Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Hockessin Hash #975 May 8, 2013 Tripping the Hash Fantastic I had just dropped off my weekly sack of cats at the kitchen door of Yang’s #2 Happy China Buffet in the alley behind Gordy Plaza in Marshallton Delaware, and found myself with three Five-dollar bills and two fortune cookies burning holes in my pocket courtesy of Mr. Yang. Slipping behind the adjacent Goodwill Store, I met with my other back alley dealer, Mr. Po’ Boyz, and traded two of the Five-Spots for an amateurish-looking, postage stamp-sized piece of rolling paper imprinted with a fuzzy image of Mickey Mouse flashing the Peace Sign. Quickly popping Mickey in my maw (and chasing it with a fortune cookie) it was only then that I spied nearly two dozen be-spandexed, be-jeweled and be-kilted low lifes hovering around an unmarked box truck surreptitiously quaffing brews. I approached, they explained, and my last Five-dollar bill changed hands. Soon the Slobbering Pack took off at a pace that can charitably best be described as an amble. Hippie Mickey released its juice, colors became more saturated, my eardrums began to thrum rhythmically and I saw the cries of “On-On!” sprout from the crowd in cartoon balloons. I fell in line amongst the Pack of what I now understood to be Hashers. My remaining fortune cookie would have to wait. In a court of law I would not swear these events to be firmly based in reality, but among friends (and I hope I can count you, Dear Reader, as a friend) this account of what then transpired has a passing acquaintance with the neighborhood of Truth, at least the truth as shown to me by Mickey Mouse and Spell Checked by Bunion Butt. The Truth is: * Woody the Woodpecker set the trail after being Hareless for more than a year. * Woody the Woodpecker changed the Hash venue less than 24 hours before the first On-On call. * Good to his Election Day threat, freshman Biermeister Spunk Monkey furnished sub-par selections of suds, though they were still too good for Hashers. * Naybe I Should Have Cum on Time came early, left early * Hashers Up the Rear, Perfect Woman, Dead Head and Lung Butter returned from their winter hibernation. * Asshopper honored his inner Travis Bickel by sporting a new landing strip upon his head; “You talking to me?” * Groper admiring the landing strip, but happy that her own was better coiffed. * On trail for more than twenty minutes, yet still being within sight of our starting point * Treacherous trail and a rock scramble along the banks of the Calf Run * Dirty Wet Pussy’s ecstatic cries that the fresh Springtime shiggy was made just for her. * The Pack tippy-toeing its way through a creek under a stone railroad bridge as a freight train thundered overhead * The Beer Stop turf was territorially-marked with a pair of sneakers hanging from a telephone wire. * Misty drizzle to chill the Beer Stop * Gizz Specialist’s feet now on slippery stream rocks, now swooshing out from under her causing her to wet her pants * Fresh, young, shiny and succulent poison ivy leaves are back in season – Hooray for Summer! * The trail was A to B, then B to A via Woody’s Box Truck. * On the truck ride On-In Woody lured in and kidnapped the trailing Hashers. * The S&M Man’s tasteful ode to Pain & Pleasure – “The S&M Man can ‘cause he mixes it with love and makes the hurt feel good!” * Visitors Chasez Boyz & S&M Man serenading the assembled Holy Hash Circle * The attempted naming of Just Holly was tabled until another day as the clouds opened and tried to wash the stink from the Slobbering Pack. * Lightning flashing and thunder crashing as the Circle reached its climax. The sky dumped just as the assembled Pack petitioned the Lord with a prayer that the Hash Might Get a Piece. * The Wet and Slobbering Pack abandoning the Circle to rush into Famous Pat My Ass Tavern * Woody the Woodpecker’s delightful Cock with Wine (Coq au Vin) * The tavern’s taps flowed with gorgeous golden beers – thank you Woody; the Hash coolers stagnate with yellow piss – thanks a lot Spunk Monkey. As the evening wore on and the acid wore off, I sensed that this group just might welcome me back again next week. Looking around the tavern at the thinning Pack-O-Hashers, a warm glow enveloped me as I made my way past the pool tables, out the rear door and into the alley. Mr. Yang was emptying that evening’s kitchen garbage into a greasy slop can buzzing with flies as a lone cat watched and waited. I met the eyes of the alley cat briefly, broke open my last fortune cookie and continued into the night. “Not now, but see you next week, kitty. On-On.” Hash Scribes Notice: Subsequent forensic analysis of the H4 financial records indicates that, in addition to the Hare Woody the Woodpecker, these Hashers were in attendance this evening – Cribsnatcher, Perfect Woman, Narcijism, Dead Head, Gizz Specialist, Just Holly, Circle Jerk, Lung Butter, Asshopper, Do Me on the Beach, Pickle Dick, Lost Penis, Groper, Mount Me, S&M Man, Dead End, Chasez Boyz, Cousin Itt, Mary Fuckin’ Poppins, Dirty Wet Pussy, Bunion Butt, Spunk Monkey, Tinsel Tits, The Wetter the Better, Wet Lay, Butthead, Senor Panties, Slutmaster, Devil Woman, Anything Butt, Up the Rear and the Wick Wacker. Bunion Butt | |
| Note: | |
| Trash from attachment to email message 1647 | |