I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1081 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1081 - Hockessin's Annal Red Dress Run |
| When: | May 6, 2015 |
| Where: | 108 West Main Street, Newark, DE |
| Hares: | Baby Jessica Cribsnatcher Smells Like Hash Spirit Strawberry Shortcake | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1081, Hockessin's Annal Red Dress Run on Wednesday When: Wednesday, May 6, 2015, at 6:30pm HST Where: Deer Park Tavern, 108 West Main Street, Newark, DE 19711 Who: Baby Jessica, Strawberry Shortcake, Hash Spirit, and Cribsnatcher What Else: Duh, wear your finest red dress. Don't have one? You might be able to pick up a last minute one at Goodwill or the Salvation Army in Newark. Also, Lost Penis had requested that, if you can, you donate $25 for her friend, who had MS. Dog/Child Friendly: Are they wearing a red dress? D'erections: See here. And make your sexy red dress is hitting all the right curves, park, walk inside, order a beer, and wait for the hash to start. | Hashers |
| Asshopper Baby Jessica Bunion Butt Cause for Blindness Cock a Doodle Don't Cousin It Cribsnatcher Dead End Dick Fingers Dirty Wet Pussy Erection Expert Famous Jack Gaydar The Penetrator Kum On Inn Lost Boy Lost Penis Mary Fucking Poppins NecroPheelMeUp Perfect Woman Pickle Dick Port-a-Ho PubeHeAteHer Runner Girl Skidmarks Smells Like Hash Spirit Soulless Dick Spunk Monkey Strawberry Shortcake The International House of Virgins The Wetter the Better Tinsel Tits Tiny 2 Stroke Trail Order Bride Wet Lay Wingnuts Wishboneher Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Trash for Hockessin Hash #1081 So, the slobbering pack once again gathered at The Deer Park for the Annual Red Dress Disaster on Wednesday, May the 6th 2015 AD. Hashers I remember being present at some point: Lost Boy, Perfect Woman, Dead End, Pickle Dick, Tinsel Tits, Wishboneher, Skidmarks, Lost Penis, Cousin It w/ Famous Jack, Ass Hopper, Wetter the Better, Dirty Wet Pussy, Trail Order Bride, Kum On Inn, NecroFeelMeUp, PubeHeAteHer, Soulless Dick, Runner Girl, Tiny Two Stoke, Erection Expert w/ Just Joshua, Woody, Mary Fucking Poppins, Wingnuts, The International House of Virgins, Cause For Blindness, Spunk Monkey, Cock A’ Doodle Don’t, Gaydar, Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Dick Fingers, PortaHo, and, many, many others. Our Hares for the day were once again Cribsnatcher with help or not from Smells Like Hash Spirit with help or not from Baby Jessica and Strawberry shortcake. And since it is such an important tradition that this thing be mis-coordinated and mis-communicated every single year, Crib laid the marks but left the sweeping duties to Smells Like Hash Spirit who did not lay the marks. And ,in fact she was quite misinformed about where this thing was going. About 5 to 7, or 6:45 hash time, we did the chalk talk, and we were told by Crib to look for two beer stops. And off we went. On! On!The arrow pointed us in the direction of going up Mainstreet, but somebody found marks across the road and through the big parking garage across from the deer park. We found a check on Delaware Ave, we ran around one of the U of D music buildings for a bit, then crossed over the pedestrian bridge on South College Ave. With PubeHeAteHer auto hashing that evening, Skidmarks, and his recently healed foot, was the FRB blazing in front of us for much of this time. On! On!We ran through what is known as the, uh, uh, Memorial Green Hall or something building and came out near the central mechanical boiler room that most of U of D depends on for heat. We got a bit confused for a while, which thus allowed those dragging as behind us to catch up. NecroFeelMeUp and Runner girl found true trail on Academy Rd. which led us past Skidrow and up to the big Barnes and Noble book store where we found the “Beer Near” mark. Now the nearest beer from there was Catherine Rooney’s bar on Mainstreet and so we concluded that must have been it. Though when we arrived there there was not a hare to be seen. But one of the bar tenders was warned ahead of time that we were going to show up. Unfortunately the Yuengling resupply truck didn’t arrive that day, so we had to settle for Bud Light, I think. For what I was sipping on had the characteristics of that very beer. And so we enjoyed our brews for a while wondering if one of the hares was ever going to show up to settle the tab. But eventually Smells Like Hash Spirit did show up with a credit card. And even though the inside of the bar was completely empty and air conditioned, our tribe of red dressed imbeciles thought it would be better to hang out on the front porch, in front of the front door. And so they remained in the way of the other customers and the poor waitstaff who needed to use that door in order to serve the customers sitting outside. But we only remained a traffic hazard for another 30 minutes or so. Now after the beer stop, a hasher, or two, or maybe even 12 actually looked for the rest of the marks for this trail, and from what I understand, they followed the trail back down main street, across Cleveland Avenue, through the North Campus and to the edge of White Clay State Park just off of Creek Road for the next stop. But since most were lazy, and apparently naive, they decided to follow the directionally challenged Smells Like Hash Spirit, who I would like to mention again, did not lay the trail, and did not actually know where it was going, but thought she did, based off of the mumbling phone conversations she had with Crib. And so we made our own adventure. On! On!The majority of hashers by this point were no longer on trail. And were misinformed that the next stop was to be at Timothy’s on Papermill Rd. On! On!Most of us went up Mainstreet taking a left on Chapel. Apparently there was some sort of College social function going on along the way, and our GM Dirty Wet Pussy attempted to arrange a double secret beer stop. But ALAS!!! They had no alcohol and they denied even Spunk Monkey a beer. Apparently they had a pool or a baby pool or something and Soulless Dick took a jump into that. On! On!Down Paper Mill Rd we went. And so, when we got to Timothy’s we saw no sign of Crib, and no sign of him at the park across the street or even the two parks down the street. And so, she who got us lost had to make a phone call. And after receiving updated directions from Crib, she proceeds to get us lost again. And so, just for the sake of saying “And so” again. On! On!We ran down the Pomeroy Rail Trail, off of Papermill Rd, until we got to Creek Rd, looking thus for the imaginary intersection of North College Avenue and Creek Rd, that Crib said he was waiting for us at. And the reason this intersection is imaginary is because Creek Road and North College Avenue are the same fucking road!!!! North College becomes Creek Road as you leave town. And if you don’t believe me, take a look a google maps. And so, as Smells Like Hash Spirit and the rest of the mislead crew were starting to head back to the Deer Park, yours truly, MFP, once again used his magical intuition and figured that Crib really meant the place on Creek Rd that he did a beer stop at the year before. And so, once again, I figured right. There we found an “ON IN” mark, along with a cooler full of beer, along with Cribsnatcher and Dick Fingers, and the rest of the pack who actually followed the marks. Crib Snatcher had never actually decided if this was going to be just a Beer Stop or the End of Trail, but since it said “On In” we decided it was that. There was also a very large and complicated looking set up off of the road with many tables for the purpose of the hash to make fondue. Poor Crib Snatcher had spent hours and hours slicing up meat and vegetables for the fondue set up that he borrowed from Smells Like Hash Spirit. And that, unfortunately he did not fully understand how to set up. Which is why it made so much sense to have Crib try to set it up and have Smells Like Hash Spirit sweep a trail that she did not lay. There were some gas heated pots, that somehow couldn’t get hot, along with some electrical pots that didn’t work either, because in the woods there is usually not an electrical outlet available. And so hashers resorted to cooking the fondue meat on the open flame of one of the gas burners. But at least the cheese turned out okay. It was a good idea, Crib. Sorry it didn’t work out all that great. Maybe next time you should try to set up a Moon Bounce. After the sun went down a little further, our fair-weather RA, Wishboneher, in another one of her very interesting outfits, opened circle. And we had to do without the down-down cups again. Penalties and awards were dished out. Songs were sung. Our hares, of course, had to do more than their fair share of down-downs that day. Our visitors that day, Runner Girl, Soulless Dick, and Tiny Two Stroke from the Smutty Crab hash gave us a few songs. Since no female was willing to admit she was on the rag that day, Woody stood in to drink for Wishboneher’s favorite song. After circle was closed we followed marks in the dark back to the Deer Park, where we were joined by auto-hashers Dead End, PubeHeAteHer (who at least bothered to put on a dress), Portaho, and the International House of Virgins. Pitchers of lager were ordered, along with many plates of Nacho’s. And yours truly got blamed for eating all the jalapeños, along with many other things. And a shitty great time was had. But all and all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1082 this Wednesday. On! On! MFP | |