I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1226 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1226 |
| When: | Jan. 27, 2018 |
| Where: | 5343 Limestone Road, Wilmington, DE |
| Hares: | Circle Jerk Do Me On the Beach | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1226 When: Saturday, January 27, 2018 at 3:00pm HST Where: The Shops of Limestone Hills. 5343 Limestone Rd (the shopping center the includes Tyler’s Bar and Grill). Park in the somewhat well-disguised lot behind Tyler’s (we’ve been there before). Who Hare: Do Me on the Beach and Circle Jerk Hash Cash: $7.00 Friendlies: The trail should be OK for dogs. No strollers or puny kids. At apres, dogs allowed to occupy the fenced-in back yard, not the house. D'erections: From I-95, take exit at Rt 7 North. Stay in left lanes in Stanton to stay on Rt 7 N. Go about 3.9 miles and turn right on Ocheltree Ln. Take second right turn into lot behind the shopping center. 39.747769, -75.697725 | Hashers |
| Asshopper Biatch Big Left Tit Bunion Butt Circle Jerk Cousin It Dead End Do Me On the Beach F6 Famous Jack Groper Horny Hands Jewel of Duh-Nile Lost Penis Magic Carpet Ride Mary Fucking Poppins NecroPheelMeUp Orgy-Porgy-Put-In-Pie PubeHeAteHer RaidR Skidmarks STD The Wetter the Better Wet Lay Wingnuts Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Hash Trash for Hockessin Hash #1226 So, the slobbering pack gathered up in the back parking lot of Limestone Hills Shopping Center in Pike Creek, DE for “just another trail” on a brisk and nippley, 50-ish degree afternoon of Saturday, January 27, 2018 AD (or BCE or CE or FU according or Orgy-Porgy).. Hashers I remember encountering at some point or other included: Skidmarks, Lost Penis, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Cousin It with Famous Jack, Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Big Left Tit, Groper, Jewel of Duh-Nile, Magic Carpet Ride, Wingnuts, Dead End, Woody, RaidR, Biatch, Asshopper, The Wetter the Better, Mary Fucking Poppins, Orgy-Porgy-Put-In-Pie, F6, STD, Horny Hands and . . .? Our hares for today were veteran trail master, Circle Jerk (who promised to make us run today) and professional delegator, Do Me On the Beach (who promised to make sure someone not named “Do Me” would provide us with a trail and food today). While we waited for all the wankers to take their sweet time to arrive, we sipped on some suds and watched Circle Jerk throw down his usual minimalist, all business, no fucking-around marks. We could expect the usual flour blobs, some checks, falses, a Turkey/Eagle split, a Beer Near (yay!) and a BJ, which Do Me explained meant “blow job” and proceeded to gesture and demonstrate what this meant, while Circle Jerk explained, ‘it’s a check-back-check, ya dummies.’ Circle further alerted the FRB’s that if one were to follow the Eagle trail and hit all the falses, one would cover precisely 6.6 miles, which prompted the FRB’s to down a few more beers in preparation. And so, before the wind could chill our bones or boners any further, we followed Circle’s directions out of the intersection toward the first check on what promised to be a long journey home. On-On! The pack split at the intersection of the shopping center, with most believing wrongly that trail would head down the lovely paved bike path. So, before Pube and F6 hit the false, Orgy-Porgy took what he thought to be the path of least-resistance on the grass and ended up sliding down the hill on his ass after hitting a patch of mud. After enjoying watching the first epic hash crash of the day, the rest of the wanks followed Skids across Limestone Road toward a housing development where MFP found marks at a check leading us deep down into a loooong stretch of shiggy. On-On! Wise ol’ Cicle had warned us that trail didn’t necessarily follow ‘deer trails’ and that we might actually have to pay attention while in the shiggy. Indeed we did as we navigated through the trees and thorns, over a few logs and streams and through an actual metal gate in the middle of nowhere (good thing it was open). Eventually we found ourselves upon the abandoned Pike Creek golf course, which may some day be turned into a housing development, in which case we would have nowhere left to hash in Pike Creek. On-On! Skids and Orgy found an arrow to the left that Pube and F6 had blown-by, which led us up a steep, muddy hill into a parking lot where Dead End was waiting for us at the Beer Near. Do Me also made herself useful by showing up with a container of homemade chocolate candy treats. Good thing there were plenty of provisions, for the FRB’s would be here a while as one by one the rest of the wanks appeared cumming up the hill, including Wingnuts who was carrying a small umbrella (on purpose), which we all decided was more like a parasol, perhaps to keep the sun off on an overcast day. After approximately 27 minutes, Circle Jerk appeared saying, “Well, Wet Lay and Bunion Butt probably won’t make it.” Not only that, but RaidR and Biatch, who were on their bikes, were never to be seen nor heard from again on trail. Obviously with these tidings of doom, it was every hasher for themself, so we followed Cousin It who had already decided, ‘fuck that shit’ and was on his way out of the parking lot. On-On! Here is where the foreboding Turkey/Eagle split was to occur, with the Turkeys heading straight back down Limestone Road and the Eagles exploring parts yet unknown across the street. Then … Pube and Skids were on a hill, ‘twas some marks they were after … Pube fell down and broke his crown and Skids came tumbling after’ (aka, 2 epic hash crashes in a row). So, carefully the rest of the Eagles headed down into the shiggy by the creek, navigated across (some more creatively than others) and came out at Limestone Park where Circle Jerk and Fast Eddie happened to be casually strolling along. But the shiggy was not over yet, so off the pavement and back into the sticks we went where we found some marks on a giant downed tree that Pube decided to shimmy across while the rest of us tried not to kill ourselves while climbing up from the depths of Pike Creek’s armpit and finally into the back of the shopping center, at last marking the end of our arduous expedition. Upon arrival, we found that the rest of the pack had deserted us and left us for dead. So, we headed back to Circle and Do Me’s to assure everyone that we were mostly present and accounted-for Back at Circle and Do Me’s, however, only about 2/3 of the pack that started with us were present and accounted-for, but we figured it was enough of a majority to hold circle. RA, Mary Fucking Poppins requested that the hares enter circle so we could ridicule them for the trail not being long enough or muddy enough and for not losing enough people on it. Jewels drank for DFL of the Eagles, while Groper stood-in for DFL of the Turkeys, since some of them were still missing. Pube, Skids and Orgy drank for their graceful hash crashes and a few people actually drank for managing to not leave any blood on trail. Wingnuts drank for his goofy parasol and several interuptuses drank for forgetting why they had stayed away so long. Our visitor, Horny Hands gave us some much-needed massages and we sang to him since he couldn’t cum up with a song of his own after 30-something years of hashing. And finally, since Woody was back from his travels, the hash could at last go in peace. So, we headed inside and enjoyed some chili, mac and cheese, salad, bread and tasty brownies, ala Wet Lay and a few of us hung out later, playing shuffleboard, watching a movie and drinking several bottles of wine. And all in all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1227 this Saturday. On-On! NecroPheelMeUp | |