Hitting save is very important... database sync isn't working and I am lazy
|What:||Hockessin Hash #133|
|When:||Jan. 1, 1900|
|Where:||White Clay Creek Conservation Area|
Get a Job
|Nothing here yet||Hashers|
|H4H133: White Clay Crossings|
Location: White Clay Creek Conservation Area, Chambers Rock Road parking lot
Number of hashers: 40 +/-
Total time: In around dark
Trail rating: excellent scenery
Hares: Flaming Asshole, Get a Job and Cupcakes
Weather: warm and sunny
This was a straightforward hash, up one side of White Clay Creek, a short BS loop with a water stop and back down the other side. The east side of the creek contained the shiggy, the west being an FRB's dream. This hash was set the night before and the afternoon of the hash. The marks were plentiful and easy to follow, even backwards. In fact the ON IN was easy to find without even finding one ON.
Well, on into the story of this hash. (I'd rather be on into Cupcakes.) We started with the usual deflowering of the virgins and laying of the signs. The virgin load was unusually heavy, taking a lot of work to properly indoctrinate, inculcate and impregnate. When Flaming Asshole was done, Get a Job took over, followed by Cupcakes, who applied the right touches at the right time to convince them all to participate. Flaming finally directed people 90 degress off course and the ON IN was found almost immediately. Most of the hash followed the trail in the intended direction, with an unmentioned FRB running it backwards just as a change of pace. The next twenty minutes of trail I'm uncertain of what happened, due to an incredible desire to race bicycles, sniff bitches and howl at the moon. It was a wonderful primordial experience. When I finally got back to the hash they had progressed through a couple bad checks and were crawling along the east side of White Clay Creek, a linear mile or so from the first ON. (I had gone up a couple miles, found the top of the BS loop and got lonely. Therefore, I doubled back down the trail to a horse crossing, did a quick creek crossing, beat my way through overgrown trail and found the end of the pack meekly wandering along the water.) From here, an easy creek crossing went into a BS loop to the water stop. The FRBs quickly blew out of the water stop, through several tit checks and ball checks, with Do Me providing some excitement at the tit checks, and blew down trail as if chased by coon hounds and their gun toting rednecks. Rosie was on point with Hornblower smoking his heels, leaving scorch marks in the earth until Rosie made a bad turn and Hornblower took point. From here on, it was an FRB's dream; straight, flat and fast! Vegetation flamed as Kung Fuc, Hornblower and Rosie took to the last stretch of trail like reborn Phoenix. The rest is history.
When finally in, the local rangers and constabulary force were there to greet us in force. We all fled as they tried to round us up and dark descended. Regrouping occured at Get a Job's domicle. Beer was spilled, hares roasted, pizza devoured, virgins toasted and Cupcakes consumed de flagrante. A naming occured for a tasty morsel of hashing, Devil Woman. With her and Cupcakes being the designated DFLs, there should be more hard ons in the rear pack than ever before.
As a last note, I hope to see more of Flaming Asshole's sister. It is a pleasure for the more mature of us to be reminded of the joys of youth. It almost makes me want to go cribsnatch.
One thought on setting trail. When in a tight area where the ON IN is close to the first ON, set the last third or so live. This way the ON IN will not be found at the start of the hash. Another big help is to make sure the hare giving directions knows where the first ON is. Being semi-sober at this time helps a lot, too.
Now another note in the continuing series on the proper wifely deportment towards the very reason for their existence:
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash their hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, if necessary and change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Whoever wrote this was obviously childless, out of touch with reality, on a psychedelic drug or all three. Children playing the part of little treasures for more than five or ten seconds at a time, more than once a day is pure fantasy. More probably a man is apt to come home and have to referee several fights between the children, the children and the wife, the children and the pets, the children and the neighbors' children, the children and the neighbors' pets and the children and whatever else they can possibly get to come to blows with them, including the wallpaper, the computer and every shrub in the surrounding neighborhood. The whole concept of seeing kids in clean clothes more than two minutes after putting them on is pure fantasy. Even glasses colored to the brim with Rose' cannot hide the dirt a child attracts instantly on donning clean clothes. The younger the child, the stronger the magnetic attraction to dirt.
This is for young children. When one of them becomes pre-adolescent, through Rose' colored glasses is the only way to see them without being accused of child abuse. Pre-puberty and puberty make the terrible twos look like love taps. So to the authors of this little piece of advice, I say get off the drugs and to reality. Either that or give all parents the option of a lifetime of free Prozac or other psycho-active substances.
|from web archive|