I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1097 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1097 - Asshopper's B-day bash hash hatissue! |
| When: | Aug. 26, 2015 |
| Where: | 715 Art Lane, Newark, DE |
| Hares: | Asshopper The Wetter the Better | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1097, Asshopper's B-day bash hash hatissue! When: Wednesday, August 26, 2015, at 6:30 HST Where: 715 Art Lane, Newark, DE, 19713 (PLEASE be considerate of where you park your car on their street.) Who: Asshopper & The Wetter The Better Dog Friendly: Probably for trail (not sure because we have NO idea where we are running to yet) & Apres outside. D'erections: It's pretty sad if you still don't know where we live...Use your freakin fancy phones yo! Google map. If you get lost call. (Or, from I-95, take Exit 1 for Route 896 N/Newark. Stay right and at the 2nd light, take a right JUST AFTER W Chestnut Hill Rd. The AFTER is a jug-handle to go across, there is no left turn lane at the light. On W Chestnut Hill take the 3rd Right and go to the end. Folks coming N on 95 can get off an exit early and save the toll. Folks coming from north can make their way to Rt. 896 South and turn right on W Chestnut Hill. Third right is Art Lane.) What Else: BRING a chair for your butts. Dry bag (Duh!) If you would like to participate or watch the crazies participate in an ICE BATH, please bring a bag of Ice to donate to the cause! | Hashers |
| Asshopper Baby Jessica Beastialidocious Bumpy Beaver Bunion Butt Bunion's Bitch Butt Lite Circle Jerk Cousin It Dead End Deathwish Devil Woman Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Kum On Inn Lost Boy Lost Penis Magic Carpet Ride Narcigism NecroPheelMeUp Perfect Woman Pickle Dick PubeHeAteHer Skidmarks Smells Like Hash Spirit Strawberry Shortcake The International House of Virgins The Wetter the Better Tinsel Tits Tits of Steel Toxic Shock Trail Order Bride Weird Al Spanks the Bitch Wet Lay Wishboneher Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Trash for Hockessin Hash #1097 So, the slobbering pack met once again at the charming abode of Asshopper and Wetter the Better on Art Lane in Newark, DE on a lovely, pleasant, 80-ish degree evening of Wednesday, August 26, 2015 AD. Hashers I remember being present included: International House of Virgins, Tits of Steel, Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Dirty Wet Pussy, Perfect Woman, Pubeheateher, Necropheelmeup, Just Wayne, Dead End, DoMe On The Beach, Circle Jerk, Bumpy Beaver, Weird Al, Kum On Inn, Trail Order Bride, Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Woody, Asshopper, Wetter the Better, Butt Lite, Devil Woman, Cousin It, Toxic Shock, Lost Boy, Magic Carpet Ride, Wishboneher, Death Wish, Pickle Dick, Tinsel Tits, Narcijism, Beastyaladocious, Smells Like Hash Spirit, Baby Jessica, Strawberry Shortcake, Bunion’s Bitch and . . .? Our hares for the evening were shockingly the proprietors of the place, Wetter the Better and Asshopper,whose ??-# birthday it was. The great thing about having a Beermeister for a hare is that you don’t have to wait for the beer to arrive, so plenty of suds and such were enjoyed before our RA, Wishboneher called us forth to circle-up for chalk talk. Pubeheateher managed to make his own father cum, thus Just Wayne was introduced as the virgin for the evening and the one ultimately irresponsible for Pube’s existence. Asshopper threw down some flour and explained that we should look carefully, as he somehow ran out somewhere before the end of trail. Perhaps Wetter the Better needed the flour for one of her cakes, but no one seemed to care too much yet, long as the Beer Near was visible enough. Nevertheless, after the hares were blessed with beer and glad tidings of great joy, we were off through the backyard and into the neighborhood. On-On! The pack was quickly thwarted by the hares’ craftiness as they made their way to the first check and guessed wrongly. The collective brain fart wanted to go immediately into the creek, for after all, this was a Wetter specialty, however Asshopper remained at the intersection smiling and enjoying the chaos he had created. As the wankers chased their own tails for a while through the parking lot and around the creek, some of the brighter stars in the sky decided to head off in a different direction and indeed found that trail continued on through the neighborhood. Here is where Circle Jerk, Skidmarks, Perfect Woman,Necro, Weird Al and Butt Lite all shoved their heads up each other’s asses for a while looking for marks in places that did not contain any semblance of a mark, save for some bird shit, paint splotches and random paper scraps. Eventually, Weird Al and Butt Lite said, “To hell with it!” and went back in search of beer. The rest of them eventually found trail again, just as a bunch of wankers were seen darting haphazardly in and out of the woods across Route 4. Apparently, they were trying to follow marks on trees that magically disappeared before their eyes. We thanked all of these jackasses for saving us the trouble. On-On! The pack then found themselves in some abandoned-looking field where Woody led the charge down a somewhat-paved section, while others discovered they could hash smarter by cutting across the field. Of course, the joke was on us as we were eventually led out to the same damn road as Asshopper laughed triumphantly at his creation and watched us play Frogger with the cars wizzing by. After a further stretch down this road, at long last, a Beer Near was in sight. Unfortunately, that was more than we could say for the beer. The wankers looked high and low and soon discovered that they must first get their feet wet and cross the creek for their beer. Wait, did I say “get their feet wet?” Woody, of course somehow managed to avoid this again by bushwacking on the other side of the creek while we all watched, drank and heckled. A grand time was had by all until it was pointed out that daylight was fading and perhaps we should make our way back on trail. Do Me and Perfect Woman were of course already well ahead as the rest of the pack grudgingly dragged their asses out of the creek bed. On-On! Night vision goggles may have helped on our journey back through the deep, dark woods as the pack managed to lumber their way back in a kindergarten-style single-file line down the winding trail. Fast Eddie was seemingly the only one with any energy left as he sprinted back and forth through and sometimes into everyone’s legs. If the flour ran out here, no one would have seen it anyway. At last, a familiar bridge came into view and we were back up into Asshopper and Wetter’s yard for the On In where more beer awaited. Circle commenced in short order with a serenade to the Hares for their shitty trail. Skidmarks was given back the sleeve of beer from IHOV for being first in. IHOV accused Pube of breaking the strap of said beer sleeve while trying to extract a beer, so both drank for their party fouls. Since Death Wish graced us with his once-a-season presence, he was given the chance to serenade the pack while several other interuptuses drank for dropping in. Just Wayne was initiated as the virgin of the evening and was made to drink for making Pube, while Pube was made to drink for not offering his own father some proper shiggy socks for the occasion. Trail Order Bride decided to bust his ankle so he could join Dead End in auto-hashing. Finally, Asshopper was baptized with a proper “side-side” for his birthday. Following circle, the pack feasted upon a spectacular taco buffet, courtesy of our spectacular hosts. In true form, Wetter the Better had the ice bin out for anyone to lounge in, which Dirty Wet Pussy took advantage of for an impressive 10 minutes. All in all, it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1098 this Wednesday. On! On! Necropheelmmeup | |