Hitting save is very important... database sync isn't working and I am lazy
|What:||Hockessin Hash #720 - Unholy Reunion Hash Part I|
|When:||June 18, 2008|
|Where:||Christiana Town Center, Newark, DE|
Yeast of Burden
|What: Hockessin Hash #720, Unholy Reunion Hash Part I |
Where: Christiana Towne Center - in the parking lot past Boscov's
When: Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Who: Yeast of Burden and Deathwish
What the Hares Promise: "Cum (AGGGGGHHHH!!!!!) on out for the week of the Unholy Reunion Hashes hared by YOB and Deathwish. We promise three beverage stops, a good trail, and free entertainment at Bev Stop #3, so get your asses out there and Hash!!!"
From Wilmington/Phila., I-95 S to Exit 3 toward US-40 Dover. Merge onto Rt. 273 East
Turn Left into the Christiana Towne Center shopping Center (Red Robin Restaurant will be on the Corner). Go past Bertucci's and Boscovs to the farthest Parking lot. Park, have a beer, bitch and moan, then Hash.
For those of you cumming (AGGGGGGGGG!!!) from Baltimore, figure it out yourself.
|Cause for Blindness|
Tick on Dick
Yeast of Burden
|Hell Yaaaaahhhh Mutha Fuckas!!!!! We all survived the Unholy Reunion of Deathwish and Yeast of Burden. Thank you to all you fuckin fucks who made it out last night. I feel for you. That Fucker made me do that trail twice while scouting. I think I need to burn my shoes.|
The evening started out ominously as the Hashers gathered. Lightening cracked, windows were fogged, and the Element was rocking (thank you Skid, it would have been better if Deathwish wasn't in the back seat). The weather broke just as we circled up. Tick on a Dick and Cause For Blindness joins the fray - nice to see you again, you fuckin fucks. Next time, don't wait so long to cum (AGGGGGGGGG! !!!!!) back.
Holy Hell, there are three Virgins! They have no idea what Bull Shit we have in store for them. Do you think they'll ever cum (AGGGGGGHGHHGGG! !!!) back?
The Hash is warned that the trail will be muddy, wet, and shitty. If you can't take it, stay with your car you pussies. But if you cum (AGGGGGGGGGG! !!!!), you will be rewarded with THREE, yes, THREE beverage stops. Everyone decides to go on trail (why you little beverage stop whores). Ha! Sucks to be you.
The Hare is Live Haring from each beverage stop, with only a 5 minute head start before the Pack follows. Doesn't allow for many checks or falses, which only means that he has to take you through some shit, and SHIT is what we went through.
And we're On On past abandoned houses, lying little girls (Deathwish, what did you give those little shits to convince them to lie so well to the pack), a Dead End, and honest to God Road Kill. Holy Hell, that rat was fuckin HUGE!!!!
We cum (AGGGGGGGG!! !!) to the first Beer check, but first have to pass through a Boob Check (yes, I know, they are spectacular, and you are all quite welcome that you were blessed with their presence). Woody gives a bum living in a tent some beer. We inspect stolen purses, and we're off.
Through a junk yard and on on to the land of Poison Ivy. I hear many groans as the Hashers encounter the first leg of Mud. They have no fucking clue how much worse it will get. So, we're slipping and sliding, and finally encounter the Route 1 Overpass. The trail leads over the ankle breaking rocks and straight through the Marsh.
Woody pauses here, and watches for a while as the Hashers are sinking up to their thighs in stinking muck. He scans the horizon to find a way around the pit of hell. Finally, he goes onto Route 1 and crosses 95 to get to the other side. Because afterall, it's better to be FUCKING DEAD than to get a little wet. You stupid fuck. One of these days, we will find a way to get you soaking fucking wet. You will NOT be able to find a way around it. It is my goal in life to make you muddy Woody, and it will happen.
All other Hashers plunge (literally) into the rotting muck. We trudge and we help others out of the sinking quick sand mud. More than a few take nose dives into the Shit. Finally, we cum (AGGGGGG!!!) to the Jello Shot stop, as well as the nasty ass Christiana River. Deathwish is in his intertube floating like a piece of shit. The rest of us down our jellos (damn people, there were 80 fucking jello shots, and they were gone in 5 fucking minutes), and jump into the water. Some of us slide into the water. It stinks. It smells like a fucking whore's pie hole. Stungun is whining like a little bitch "don't splash my camera. don't get my camera wet". Suck it up bitch.
On up and out of the water (Thank you Perfect Woman for saving our intertube. I really appreciate it). On On under the overpass and to a boardwalk.
Side note: Tuesday night a woman went into a seizure, drove off of Route 1, dropped her car 60 feet, and plunged through the very same boardwalk we were on into the very same swamp we were in. It occured around 7:00, which means if we had been hashing on Tuesday, we would have cum (AGGGGGGG!!! !) upon the accident right as the rescue effort was underway. She lived, with some internal bleeding and lacerations.
Our final Beverage stop on the boardwalk included Captain Ahabs and the ever delicous Shaeffer's Beer. We provided beer to more Homeless, who were guarding our beer stops for us. Sharpies and spray paint was provided by the Hare so that the Hashers could leave our mark. Why stop at public intoxication, let's do a little Graffiti too.
On On, and a Homeless guy is cuming (AGGGGGG!!!! ) with us. On In and circle up. Violations were called out. Woody for not getting wet, and trying to die so he could be dry. Mount Me showed up, and did a Down Down for Auto Hashing. Virgins, for being virgins (Hot Pants, that is so disgusting that you made Just Gary cum - AGGGGGGGGG!! !!!). Visitors, Cause and Deathwish do a Down Down (yes, Deathwish, you are a vistor. That's what you get for leaving me).
We have a Naming. Dave Grohl look alike is named Poo Fucker. Welcome Poo Fucker to the Hash. Get your ass out there more often.
On On to the On After: The Cum (AGGGGGGGG!! !!) On In, for a wonderful meal of cold baked beans, cold mac and cheese, and PB and J (hey, at least we gave you fucks whole wheat bread). It was shitty food, and still gone in a few minutes. Remember Hares, you can serve Hashers ANYTHING, and they WILL EAT IT.
We drink a LOT of cheap beer (sorry Hash Cash, Nothing for YOU - maybe if you're ass showed up every so often, it would'nt be a free for ALL). The Homeless guy is thrown out, for the reason of "he's a Bum" (hey, should Woody be tossed too?). Actually, Pedafile should have been thrown out for the same reason. The fucking fuck showed up with NO MONEY AT ALL, and drank YOUR BEER THAT YOU PAID FOR!!!!! Do me a favor Hasers, and kick him in the balls for all of us next time you see him. Ped, why even have a job if you're going to leach off of other hard working people?
Port A Ho fights off a local drunk man, and then leaves us to fend for ourselves. As Deathwish and I exit the building, Gay Blade and Mount Me are pounding beers at the bar. The locals are staring at them like Pork Chops at a free buffet.
All in all, a very shitty hash. Blame Deathwish, not me. I was dragged into it just like you were. Hope you all had a great time you fucking fucks. I know I had a blast!
Yeast of Burden