Hockessin Hash House Harriers History

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Hash Details
Hash Number:1121
What:Hockessin Hash #1121 - the State of Emergency Hash, 2016 Edition!
When:Feb. 6, 2016
Where:Park & Ride Rt. 896 and Rt. 4, Newark, DE
Hares:Dead End
What:  Hockessin Hash #1121, the State of Emergency Hash, 2016 Edition!
When:  Saturday, February 6, 2014 at 3:25 pm. NOTE THE TIME CHANGE!
Where:  The Park & Ride, located at the intersection of Rt.4 and Rt, 896, Newark, DE
Who Hare:  Dead End
Why:  Because six years ago, H4 said "To HELL with the SOE, we love the cold and snow, we have a streak of hashes to keep up, and WE WANT BEER!
Friendlies:  No.
Hash Cash:  $5
D'erections:  From 896 North, head toward Delaware Stadium, turn right on Rt. 4  , and right into the Park & Ride, look for a puff of cigar smoke.From 896 South, head toward Delaware Stadium, turn left at the intersection of Rt. 4, and right into the Park & Ride , look for a puff of cigar smoke.
From Rt.4 East, head toward Delaware Stadium, turn right into the Park & Ride, after crossing 896 , look for a puff of cigar smoke.
From Rt.4 West, head toward Delaware Stadium, turn left into the Park & Ride, BEFORE crossing 896 , look for a puff of cigar smoke.
From Pennsyl-tucky, Filthy-Delphia, New Jersey, Maryland, etc:  Go here on Google Maps: 39.65797, -75.75018, and look for a puff of cigar smoke.
If you get lost...wait, this is a Dead End trail, if you're lost, you have no one to blame but yourself!  
But, if you don't mind getting laughed at and ridiculed, you can call
SinSeriously,Dead End
Bunion Butt
Crusty Calves
Dead End
Do Me On the Beach
Hot Pants
Kum On Inn
Lost Penis
Magic Carpet Ride
Mount Me
Rack Attack
Trail Order Bride
Wet Lay
Woody Woodpecker
Hash Trash
Hash Trash for Hockessin Hash 1121
So, the slobbering pack met at the Park-and-Ride at the intersection of 896 and Route 4 in Newark, DE for the 7th Anal State-Of-Emergency Hash on a partly sunny-ish, 30-40ish degree afternoon of February 6, 2016 AD.  The event was to commemorate that grand day in 2010 when H4 gave the governor the finger and declared that regardless of snow, hail, earthquake, plague of locusts, flesh-eating bacteria, alien invasion or what have you ... the hash will go on! 
Hashers I remember being present included: Wet Lay, Bunion Butt, Dead End, Do Me On the Beach, Skidmarks, Lost Penis, NecroPheelMeUp, Groper, Rack Attack, RaidR, Just Justin, Magic Carpet Ride, Mount Me, Butthead, Crusty Calves, Hot Pants, Woody, Just Mike, Just Tasey, Kum On Inn, Trail Order Bride, Asshopper and . . .?
Our lone hare for the day was none other than the cigar-wielding birthday boy, Dead End who once a year manages to set his auto-hashing ways aside enough to actually take a 1.5-mile hike around the neighborhood in the very footsteps that the handful of brave souls on that fateful day in 2010 trekked ... lest we not forget.  Our RA, Skidmarks commenced some version of chalk talk, which most people ignored as we were too busy getting loaded on the fancy Double IPA’s and Fat Bastard Ales that the hare had abundantly provided.  Eventually, it was determined that we should probably pace ourselves for trail and begin our laborious journey, so ...
The hare’s signature tennis ball flour marks led us out of the parking lot and down a sidewalk where we came across a check with 2 falses on each side ... soooo, straight we marched right up to the Beer Near at the bar formerly known as Matilda’s, but lately known as Mad Mac’s.  Weary from not drinking for at least 2 minutes, we welcomed the bottles of Lager that awaited us inside.  Here, we lingered long enough to be joined by the late-cumming Crusty Calves and Hot Pants while our hare sipped on his fancy martini.  Eventually, it was determined that there was perhaps some more trail to be found?  So ...
On-hare we were out of the parking lot until he pointed some of the pack toward more marks and others in the pack toward marks they had already followed leading back to the parking lot.  While the FRB’s navigated through the neighborhood managing to remember how to correctly follow the checks, some others of the pack short-cutted through the neighborhood, while the lazy or perhaps smart ones simply wandered back to the cars.  As the saying goes, all roads lead to the Newark Park-and-Ride and back we all converged at the On In!    
And so, we were ready for circle while the giant bottle of Christmas ale that the hare brought for down-down beers chilled in a nearby snow bank.  We were instructed by the keeper of the après, Smells Like Hash Spirit that we should delay circle as much as possible to allow her time to return from her catering gig.  She was in luck, for if there’s anything the hashers are good at, it’s bullshitting and insults.  The list was long and my short-term memory is not, but here is a smattering of the insults/accusations/made-up bullshit: Asshopper was awarded first-in, or first short-cutter.  Groper and Butthead were dubbed first walkers in, while Kum On Inn and Necro drank for First Bitches In (to complete the entire trail).  Do Me drank for being last in, while Crusty Calves and Hot Pants drank for their lateness and managing to arrive at circle AFTER the hare.  Woody drank for auto-hashing into a handicapped parking spot.  Mount Me drank for faking a hash crash since there were none.  Just Justin drank for wearing short-sleeves in the freezing cold the entire time while being molested by Do Me.  Interuptuses, including Asshopped and Rack Attack drank for being away too, too long.  Kum On Inn falsely accused the hare of having the hash professionally catered while Do Me accused the hare of using marks that looked like titties.  Lots of people drank for not drinking enough while our RA kept yelling, “Accuse your friends!  Make shit up!”  Many drank for not having a song at the ready and Do Me drank for managing to botch the “You’re not number 5…” song by cutting it to, “You’re not number 1!”  Woody was too busy flitting around the circle to insist that the has get a piece, but after the ale ran out ... so did the bullshit.  At last ...
Following circle, the pack descended upon Smells Like Hash Spirit and Dick Fingers’ house for some Outlandish eats!  Since Hash Spirit had some leftovers from her earlier catering gig, we happily inhaled them while she provided us with some tasty veal parmesan, cream spinach and hot chocolate with assorted alcohol to add.  Crusty Calves brought some amazing alcoholic cakes and there was much rejoicing while we slogged down the rest of the hare’s fancy, strong ale.  All in all, it was another shitty trail.  Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1122 this Saturday.
On! On!