Hockessin Hash House Harriers History

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Hash Details
Hash Number:282
What:Hockessin Hash #282 and AGM
When:April 29, 2000
Where:Canby Park, Wilmington, DE
Make Me an Offer
Nothing here yet
Bumper Humper
Cereal Killer
Circle Jerk
Devil Woman
Digital Dick
Do Me On the Beach
Hot Lips
Hot Pants
Hot Pink Ho
Lick It Clean
Make Me an Offer
Pulls His Toy
Son of a Ditch
Stumpy the Sex Dwarf
Toxic Shock
Twat Ever
Hash Trash
Hockessin HHH - Hash Trash
For Saturday April 29, 2000
Hockessin HHH
Hash trash Run#282
The well hung agm hash
Five years! Can you believe it? This fucked-up kennel has withstood the vicissitudes of time and debauchery for five fucking years, and now our jolly band of universal flotsam and jetsam have collected for our AGM meeting of the new millennium, schmillenium....who gives a shit anyway?
In the usual context of gross mismanagement, ineptitude, inebriation, and used condoms, about 25 hounds collected at Canby Park, Thrillmington, in the clutches of our sadistic hares, Hornyblower and Make Me an Offer. A pair of hares possessing the kind of orienteering skills that suggest that they couldn't find their own asses with two hands and a flashlight. We started out with a tour de Canby; replete with checkbacks, falsies, and padded jock straps. We even got our feet wet (in surprisingly warm creek water) before emerging from the wooded parkland onto a bit of Maryland Ave. ass-fault. Then it was into the shiggy world that housing developers haven't been able to grab yet. Not too many thorns (Yay !!), but a few wimpy water crossings as we loped along them thar hills when, amid a highly orchestrated background of farts and belches, we got to the beer stop. The noisy display of gas production by most hashers seemed to debunk the myth that says that single females are incapable of passing gas because they don't get an asshole until they get married... Yeah! Right!
Anyway, when we got our asses in gear (more or less) after the beer stop, we had a big split-up in trail choice causing us to straggle into the parking lot over a half hour span---running as we did for over an hour and covering a distance of 5 to 7 miles, depending on which path we selected. We finally took off for home or one of the homes of several hashers who volunteered showers and towels so we wouldn't have to stink up the AGM meeting.
Eventually, between 5 and 6 PM, we met at Galuccio's restaurant near the Art Museum. It was sort of cozy there in the private room they provided us. It was a decent pasta buffet with sheep testicles, spicy hunks of goat dicks, stuffed armadillo mammaries, along with boring bread and a salad garnished with pigeon droppings and pubic hairs---and to wash down all of that exotica, we had the old sex routine of getting screwed by a high priced cash bar. The masochists who attended this noteworthy social event for the highest aristocratic stratum of Delaware bluebloods were: Gomez Himalaya, Groper, Roadkill, Hot Lips, Digital Dick, Do Me on the Beach, Stumpy the Sex Dwarf, Circle Jerk, Toxic Shock, Hot Pink Ho, Devil Woman, Cribsnatcher, Beeper, Cereal Killer, Al Bucci, Anal-ist, Bumper Humper, Hotpants, Pulls His Toy, Son of a Ditch, Twat Ever, Wingnuts, Cupcakes, Lick it Clean, Rubber (and Erin, his birthday girl who supplied us with ice cream birthday cake for dessert), and Deadhead.
After stuffing our faces, we had our religious ceremony with appropriate hymns and Down-Downs to salute the outgoing orificers. Then, with our usual lack of Hash Respect, we elected the following orificers for the first year of the new schmellenium:
Orificers for the Hash
Grandmistress (Ohhh, that sounds good!): Groper
Her job is to hatch loony plans for disgraceful Hash events, take the blame for all mismanagement fuck-ups, and bail us out when we get arrested.
Jointmaster: Beeper
His job is to moon the Hash in the absence of the GM
Religious Advisor: Himalaya
His job is to make sure that all Hashers will end up in Hell. Piece of cake. More fun there and it's warm.
On-Sex/Webmistress: Devil Woman
Her job is to maintain our crude and lascivious web site and infect the rest of the world with Hash virus.
Hash Scribe: Buffy, Rubber, Lick it Clean, Himalaya
These fools are supposed to waste everybody's time by writing idiotic horseshit
Hare Raiser: Roadkill
His thankless job is to be a pain in the ass until he gets you to sign up to hare a fucking Hash.
Hash Cash: Gomez
His job is to give you the finger and take your money until he has enough for a trip to Costa Rica.
Brewmaster: Hornblower
He will obviously drink all our beer (except for Maartens Piss)
Hash Horn: Pulls His Toy
And blows his horn at the same time! Wow!!
Haberdasher: Bumper Humper
His job is to keep us in high Hasher fashion. So fuck you, Tommy Hilfugger.
from web archive