Hockessin Hash House Harriers History

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Hash Details
Hash Number:239
What:Hockessin Hash #239
When:July 14, 1999
Where:Center for Creative Arts, Yorklyn, DE
Hares:All You Can Eat
Devil Woman
Digital Dick
Do Me On the Beach
Lick It Clean
Queer Balls
Nothing here yet
Dung Ho
Hash Trash
Hockessin HHH Hash Trash Run #239 14 July 1999
Happy Birthday, Fuck You Hash
It was a beautiful night as about 35 hounds collected in the parking lot of the Centre for Creative Arts in Yorklyn. The center posts a sign listing the times when nude models can be seen by voyeurs from the trees outside. Thoughtfully, they rent binoculars out in the center’s office.
The hares, All You Can Eat, Devil Woman, Digital Dick, Flygirl, Lick It Clean, Hornblower, Queer Balls, Do Me, staged their usual mismanaged, bungled affair in a malevolent spirit. The hills were inhumane. The abundance of poison ivy patches was an outrage. And the distance we had to go until we reached the beer stop must have been the original plan of Torquemada and the Spanish inquisition.
We started out a bit before 7PM by looking hither and yon (more yon than hither)for the first flour spot. Finally, located by a few hounds who were slightly less drag-ass than the rest of us, we started cross-cuntry and UPHILL! We never came down. One smartass H4 member suggested that we name this event the “Viagra Hash”—- meaning. of course, once you got it goin’ up, it ain’t gonna cum down. Up, up, up, through great shiggy,open fields and into deep woods. This was the land of the eco-barbarians. We stomped weeds, ferns, poisonous plants of all kinds, and probably scared the shit out of prowling carnivores. The piles of turds we found on trail looked like they must have cum from hippos and rhinoserwursts. After a long, loooong uphill (so what else was new?), we finally arrived at the beer stop and restored the tissues. Well, I don’t know if our tissues were really restored since we’re still drinkin’ that suspect shit from Belgium —-endless cases of “Marten’s Piss” and we’re still not finished. You know that song about “...a thousand bottles of beer on the wall...”?Yeah, that’s Marten’s Piss they’re talkin’ about.
Eventually, we got our shit together and it was ON-ON for a couple of miles over ass-fault until we got back to the Art Center. Then, a short walk to the home of All You Can Eat for a great Apres featuring lip-smackin’, tongue-burnin’ crabs. Also chips and a variety of salads gave us a neat feed. We finally got to the Religious Ceremony and properly shagged our birthday Hares—two of whom were AWOL. Devil Woman who was sick (probably drank too much Marten’s Piss) and Dung Ho (who probably went back to Feasel’s Saloon for some good beer). (Editor's Note: I don't know where Himalaya got the idea that Dung Ho was a hare - Himalaya, have you been taking your medicine??? - DW) Shitty trail, good Hash, and great Apres. What else can we say?
Addendum: Got some real stats from our Red, White, & Blue Hash . We actually had 42 fuckin’ idiots instead of the 30 that I reported in the last Hash Trash. Go sue me! Notably: we had a few of our beloved and reviled “Hashus Interrupti”. Namely, Messiah of Hockessin, Rambo, Sam MacKenzie, Screaming Pussy, Handful of Cum, and Groucho. We had birthday fuckers, too——Digital Dick, Fly Girl, and Hornblower. Yeah, we had a cherry, too. Th, th,th, that’s it !!
from web archive