I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1245 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1245 |
| When: | June 6, 2018 |
| Where: | End of Dawson Drive, Newark, DE |
| Hares: | Mary Fucking Poppins Smells Like Hash Spirit | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1245 When: Wednesday, June 6, 2018 at 6:30pm HST Where: End of Dawson Drive, Newark, DE 19713 (in the Delaware Industrial Park) Who Hare: Mary Fuckin Poppins and friends What Else: It's MFP’s official birthday hash. No RSVPeeing will be necessary. Friendlies: Friendlies may work out for trail, but may not for the Apres. Hash Cash: $7 D'erections: From I-95, take the Exit 1B/Newark/Rt. 896 North. Go to the 3rd traffic light, take a right onto Rt. 4. Go a mile, take a right onto Rt. 72 South. Go to the 3rd light and take a left onto Dawson Drive (If you go under I-95, you've gone too far, turnaround). Drive to the end of the road, that's where you'll (hopefully) find hashers, park, admire MFP's Hawaiian tan, and hash. | Hashers |
| American Halfass Anal Drip Asshopper Bunion Butt Butt Lite Cousin It Dead End Devil Woman Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach F6 Groper Jewel of Duh-Nile Lost Penis Magic Carpet Ride Mary Fucking Poppins NecroPheelMeUp Orgy-Porgy-Put-In-Pie Perfect Woman PubeHeAteHer Purple Haze Shit Out of Luck Shuttlecock Slutmaster Smells Like Hash Spirit The Wetter the Better Weird Al Spanks the Bitch Wet Lay Wishboneher Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Trash for Hockessin Hash #1245, MFP’s 40th Birthday Hash So, the slobbering pack met up at the end of Dawson Drive (which if you didn’t know where it was, you were instructed to go to Dawson Drive…and go to the end) in vacation-destination Newark, DE on a cloudy, mild, low 70-ish degree evening of Wednesday, June 6, 2018 AD. Hashers I remember encountering at some point or other included: Wishboneher, Lost Penis, Shuttlecock, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Cousin It, Do Me On the Beach, Orgy Porgy Put-In-Pie, Asshopper, The Wetter the Better, Devil Woman, Jewel of Duh-Nile, Woody, Perfect Woman, Dirty Wet Pussy, Wet Lay, Groper, Slut Master, F6, Bunion Butt, Magic Carpet Ride, Just George, Just Gregg, Weird Al Spanks the Bitch, Dead End, Butt Lite, American Half Ass, Shit Out of Luck and . . .? Our hares for today were Smells Like Hash Spirit and the man, the myth, the legend ... Mary Fucking Poppins, who had literally just flown in from Hawaii (and boy, were his arms tired) to celebrate his 40th trip around the sun in style with the likes of us slobs. One by two by three the pack showed-up bearing gifts of the finest 40-ouncers to bestow upon the birthday boy, with such favorites as Old English, Steel Reserve, St. Ides and Colt 45 in the mix. Orgy-Porgy brought a giant can of Foster’s because apparently they don’t sell 40’s in hoity-toity Hockessin and Lost Penis overachieved by bringing a 42-ouncer. And so, whilst everyone tried to hold back the urge to crack one of these delicacies open, an already Tipsy MFP proceeded to explain his master plan for today. Just Gregg was our lone virgin, made to cum by Smells Like Hash Spirit, so he was brought forward so that MFP could speak to him in short, repetitive sentences whilst wagging his finger for emphasis, as if anyone would ever not pay attention in chalk-talk. There were to be multi-colored flour blobs, which MFP blamed on former co-hare, Dancing Fool who apparently hadn’t wanted to waste his colorful chalk, or something. There were also to be checks, falses (all of which MFP assured us were marked), a turkey/eagle split (which MFP assured us wasn’t that much different in difficulty), orange ribbons (not to be confused with the pink ribbons already out there) and most-importantly the Beer Near, which was the whole purpose of our quest for today. And so, after several wankers corrected the true-trail arrow by adding a third line (because we wouldn’t have been able to follow it otherwise), we were off into the shiggified field where apparently an arsenal of World War II artillery is buried to hopefully avoid stepping on anything potentially lethal. On-On! We came to a check in the field where Pube and Shuttlecock, aka “Spike and Chester” had guessed right (actually left), leading us deeper into some shiggified deer trails with giant muddy water pits for us to leap across (some more successfully than others). We came upon a check where the path going straight was marked False and the path to the left seemed to run out of marks (turns out there were just a little hard to see on the trees), so Woody decreed that Jewels should check out the path to the right, which landed Jewels in a ditch all while Woody was yelling, “Go further out ... a little more to the left.” Meanwhile, the rest of the pack eventually abandoned this mission ... and Jewels, for that matter and picked-up marks out to a neighborhood where Pube had already marked the check and was half-way to Wilmington by then. On-On! So further into the neighborhood of Brookside we ventured, following the orange tennis-ball flour marks in a straight shot until we reached Hann Park where Dead End was waiting for us with a cooler full of sudsy swill with a couple 40’s thrown in just in case. One by two by three the wanks rolled in, including our virgin who was thankfully still smiling and Jewels who decided he was no longer going to take direction from anyone (until at least the next trail). The hares arrived and joined us in our revelry until we were reminded that there were plenty more 40’s back at the cars, so we high-tailed it across the field and picked-up some orange ribbons leading us into some more treacherous shiggy. On-On! Well, treacherous according to F6 who managed to slip on a log crossing a stream and flail around sideways until he landed on his ear and emerged covered in slime ... and stink, according to Woody who was running down-wind of him. Up, up, up a muddy hill we scrambled and back down the other side we slid trying to avoid the many logs, walls of poison ivy and deep abysses covered by dead leaves. Once we managed to emerge from the shaggy snares, we found ourselves on a road near the end of our journey. Perfect Woman, Pube, Orgy-Porgy and American Half Ass had a meeting of the half-minds to decide who should be FRB, so Orgy-Porgy and American Half Ass allowed Shuttlecock to have the honors by dragging him kicking and screaming across the On In. And so, once the rest of the slobs made it across the On-In, RA, Wishboneher circled us up again at the end of Dawson Drive where the many 40’s were turned into down-down beers. Shuttlecock got to drink for FRB, while Groper drank for DFL. Butt Lite joined her for a twinsies down-down since they were both wearing denim jackets from 1985. Our virgin, Just Gregg drank for managing to make it through his first hash fairly unscathed. Then, the less fortunate F6 drank for his most epic hash crash and was joined by Shit Out of Luck who also crashed in that area and Slut Master who managed to crash on the road somewhere. Pube explained the story of yet another bong found on trail in this hash and also drank for headgear along with Orgy-Porgy who was called into circle yet again for being himself. American Half Ass, Shit Out of Luck and MFP all drank for having been in faraway lands less than 24 hours ago. The hares drank many times for their shitty trail and for not having enough poison ivy or buried artillery on trail. And, MFP was given a proper side-side for his big 4-0 so that he could be showered in some of that tasty Steel Reserve or whatever was left. Speaking of what was left, those with dry lips killed-off the last of the down-downs, but fear not, wankers. The rest of those 40’s will be back next trail. Skidmarks joined the party just in time for Woody to bid us adieu with “May the hash go in peace” so we could get a piece of birthday cake and the drunk hares could hitch rides to the après. Following circle, we headed over to Famous Bob’s where Smells Like Hash Spirit provided us with a lovely spread of sausage with veggies, beans, cole slaw, salad and rice and The Wetter the Better outdid herself again by preparing an amazing work-of-art Mary Fucking Poppins carrot cake for the birthday boy. Many, many more beers were drunk, laughs were laughed and all in all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1246 this Wednesday. On-On! NecroPheelMeUp | |