I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1094 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1094 - Spunk Monkey's ANALversary Trail |
| When: | Aug. 5, 2015 |
| Where: | 235 Whitehorse Lane, Kennett Square, PA |
| Hares: | Mandible Down Spunk Monkey | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1094, Spunk Monkey's ANALversary Trail When: Wednesday, August 5, 2015, at 6:30 HST Where: 235 Whitehorse Lane, Kennett Square, 19348 - There's a new parking lot in the far back of the property. THIS IS NOT THE SAME LOT AS LAST YEAR! Who: Spunk Monkey and Mystery Hare! Why: Seemed like a good idea when I signed up. NO RAGRETS! What Else, Dog Friendly?: NO, not at all. Drybag/headlight: Never a bad idea. Do you even hash, bro? D'erections: Spunk Monkey's d'erections -- http://bfy.tw/17qd. Or, from I-95, take exit 6 A-B and follow signs for Rt. 7 North, up to the PA line. Or take the Rt. 141 North exit off of I-95, and then follow signs for Rt. 41 North, take exit for Kaolin Rd. Or from Newark/Pike Creek areas, get yourself to Rt. 7/Limestone Rd, follow into PA.On Kaolin Rd, in PA, take it until you reach Hillendale Rd, take a right and take the 2nd left onto McFarlan Rd. Go past the railroad tracks and left into Chatham Financial complex. Park, smell the sweet smell of mushroom soil, and hash. Or from Wilmington area, get yourself to Rt. 82 North, follow until Hillendale, take a right, follow above. Or take Rt. 52 North and take a left onto Hillendale, and right onto McFarlan, follow above. | Hashers |
| Bunion Butt Bunion's Bitch Circle Jerk Cock a Doodle Don't Cousin It Cribsnatcher Dancing Fool Dead End Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Groper Kum On Inn Lost Boy Lost Penis Magic Carpet Ride Mandible Down Narcigism NecroPheelMeUp Pickle Dick PubeHeAteHer Rug Burn Sandy Penis Beach Skidmarks Spunk Monkey Tinsel Tits Toxic Shock Trail Order Bride Wet Lay Wingnuts Wishboneher Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Hockessin Hash #1094 So, the slobbering pack met in the parking lot of Spunk Monkey’s place of employment on Whitehorse Lane in Kennett Square, PA on a somewhat-pleasant-not-too-humid 80-ish degree evening of Wednesday, August 5, 2015 AD.Hashers I remember being present included: Dead End, Dirty Wet Pussy, Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Wishboneher, Pubeheateher, Necropheelmeup, Narcijism, Dancing Fool, Cockadoodledont, Do Me On The Beach, Circle Jerk, Pickle Dick, Tinsel Tits, Cousin It, Kum On Inn, Trail Order Bride, Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Rug Burn, Sandy Penis Beach, Magic Carpet Ride, Groper, Woody, Wingnuts, Mandible Down, Spunk Monkey, Lost Boy, Toxic Shock, Just Darnell, Bunion’s Bitch, Cribsnatcher and . . .? Our hares for the evening were listed as Spunk Monkey and “Mystery Hare,” who turned out to be Mandible Down, striking fear amongst the pack as MD is known to go fast and long, at least when it cums to running. How he came to be paired with Spunk Monkey was more of the mystery, but Spunk being a master at the art of delegation took a step back and allowed Mandible Down to announce that he was (*gasp*) live-haring this evening. MD went on to explain how he was creatively marking the trail with toilet paper (a bonus for any hashers who felt the call of nature on trail) and some faint chalk marks that many hashers would need reading classes to decipher. We were told to look carefully for the marks (which I’m sure sunk into the minds of most of the pack), which included a check back, two beer nears (which conjured many cheers) and some YBF’s or You’ve Been Fucked marks which did not elicit much enthusiasm from the selective-hearing wankers. Spunk Monkey, it turns out also managed to convince a virgin, Just Darnell to cum without any explanation, as Spunk often works in mysterious ways. Just Darnell was introduced to the fine art of hashing, the hares were blessed by RA Wishboneher and Mandible Down was given a 15-minute head start while the wankers helped themselves to more beer. The FRB sleeve of beer was handed over to Pubeheateher, the DFL bell was donned by Skidmarks and the hounds were released after approximately 13 minutes ... close enough. On-On! Surprising as it may have been, the pack managed to get-off rather slowly (sometimes it takes a little extra work). A check was encountered which split the wankers in two out of three different directions, one being a bank parking lot that they milled-about in for a while where Woody swore he saw two marks. Turns out, that third direction that no one had bothered to check out was indeed true trail and the wankers eventually crossed over Baltimore Pike into a parking lot. Here, Skidmarks and Bunion’s Bitch encountered a Check Back 9, but as demonstrated over the past several weeks, hashers seem to drop their elementary math skills while on trail. In other words, the marks were not accurately counted and the slobbering pack ran back across Baltimore Pike, splintering in several different directions and examining every scrap of white paper, asking each other “Does this look like toilet paper to you?” Perhaps someone should have tried it out, just to make sure. While half the pack wandered off into a field that contained no marks, the rest of the pack headed back to the parking lot where Kum On Inn was leading the effort to count one ... two ... three... NINE! Indeed these marks led to true trail through some construction area in the parking lot and into a lovely area of greenage. On-On! Did I say lovely area of greenage? I meant shit ... Cambodia... Vietnam ... BYO machete. Yes, the wankers who were bright enough to discover true trail soon found themselves in jungle-like conditions of 7-foot reeds, razor grass, thorns, poison ivy and ... Oh thank god, up an embankment to a road! Oh wait ... back down into some flimsy bushes with ball-height thorny-cactus things! Needless to say, a barrage of fuck-fuck-fuckity-fuck-fucks could be heard cumming from the overgrown bush as well as a few On-On’s when toilet paper was indeed discovered, and Dirty Wet Pussy yelling “Hey Skids, ring your bell!” as the unfortunate wankers tried to claw their way through the somewhat trampled section of this seemingly never-ending sea of green hell. Tinsel Tits, the embodiment of positivity, kept saying things like, “Well, at least it’s pretty!” and “This kind-of reminds me of Nicaragua! It was nice there!” Way to project that glass-half-full attitude! On-On! At last, the moaning, bleeding herd managed to pull themselves from the clutches of the man-eating plants to a park where thank god, Spunk Monkey was waiting at the Beer Near. As they compared slash marks and amounts of accumulated hitch-hiker prickers on their clothing, low-and-behold, the other half of the slobbering pack emerged from up the road, having run down Route 1 and just happening upon the Beer Near. Jibs and jabs were traded as half the pack was accused of being pussies while the other half was accused of being stupid and simply unfortunate. Many in the pack wished to linger over their beers longer for fear of what lay ahead, but alas as several of the wankers wandered off into the park looking for marks, the other sheep eventually, reluctantly followed. On-On! Here is where our virgin truly proved he is one of us. Cumming upon a check, Kum on Inn and Just Darnell looked for marks going onto the Frisbee golf course where Just Darnell picked up a yellow disc and said, “Oh look, a Frisbee!” and summarily flung it into the field, much to the dismay of three dudes who yelled, “Hey, we’re playing a game here!” Oops, needless to say ... You’ve Been Fucked! The rest of the pack headed across the other side of the field, through some actual trail-trail, past a music festival and on into the town. At this point, the majority of the pack resigned themselves to the fact that they were mentally/physically/emotionally or otherwise drained of all capacity to look for marks and decided to head straight back to whence we came. A handful of the masochistic hashers continued to look for trail and happily came upon the second Beer Near in the parking lot of the fire station. They did not linger too long, for daylight was waning and they were promised a kick-in-the-nuts uphill and about a mile back on true trail. Some followed, while still others crapped out, but eventually everyone dragged their sorry asses one way or another to the On In and thanked the powers-that-be that most minds, bodies and egos remained intact. Well ... As circle began, Wingnuts made for the exit, deciding that he had had enough. Insults, accusations and songs-a-plenty were hurled, led by our RA Wishboneher. The hares drank for at least one of them laying an extremely shitty trail while the other supervised. It was noted that Mandible Down, who had showered and changed by then, nearly gave up the fight through the Cambodia/Vietnam trail and had the blood to prove it. Speaking of blood, all wankers who also made it through the actual trail drank for their wounds as well as drinking for completing the entire trail. Bunion’s Bitch was named FRB while Trail Order Bride sauntered in as DFL. Pubeheateher was accused of veering off trail with a “Fuck this shit!” to avoid the ball-stabbing cacti plants. Yet another hasher shirt ended up in Pube and Necro’s laundry, so Cockadoodledont got to drink for his slim-fit, petite Calvin Klein top. It should be known that though he was given a clean, dry shirt, Cockadoodledont insisted on remaining bare-chested for the rest of the evening saying he needed the shirt for work the next day. Finally, Wet Lay drank for being given a map of trail at the start, having to ask for help reading it and ultimately ending up lost anyway. Following circle, the pack feasted upon hot dogs, zucchini and macaroni salad in our hares’ posh “work” space. All-in-all it was indeed, another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1095 this Wednesday. On! On!Necropheelmeup | |