I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1085 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1085 |
| When: | June 3, 2015 |
| Where: | Woodlawn Trust Brandywine Creek Road and Beaver Dam Road, Wilmington, DE |
| Hares: | Cousin It Famous Jack Toxic Shock | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1085 When: Wednesday, June 3, 2015, at 6:30pm promptly (not HST). If you are late, we may have a shortcut for you. We are doing this because the apres will be outside. There is no lighting, In addition, we may be harassed out of there, because the police may enforce the “sundown” rule. We ask the RA’s to keep their sermons to a minimum. Where: Woodlawn Trust, Brandywine Creek Road and Beaver Dam Road, Wilmington, DE Who: Toxic Shock, Cousin It, and Famous Jack Dog/Kid Friendly: Yes/Yes. D'erections: From I-95, take the exit for Route 202 north; go 3.8 miles. Left onto Beaver Valley Road (Rt. 92, Naamans Road is the name of this road on the east side of Rt 202) and go 2.3 miles to the bottom of the road (which it is now Beaver Dam Road). Left onto Brandywine Creek Road. Park in Woodlawn Trust Parking Lot. From Rt. 202 at the Pennsylvania border, go south on Rt. 202 for about 1.4 miles, and right onto Beaver Valley Road, follow above directions.Left on Brandywine Creek Road; Park in Woodlawn Trust Parking Lot What Else: Bring a drybag -- you will need one. Unless you are a horse, bring a chair. | Hashers |
| Asshopper Bunion Butt Butt Lite Butthead Cousin It Cribsnatcher Dead End Devil Woman Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach F6 Famous Jack Feral Pussy Happy Ending Kum On Inn Lost Boy Lost Penis Magic Carpet Ride NecroPheelMeUp Perfect Woman Pickle Dick Pissticide PubeHeAteHer Skidmarks The International House of Virgins The Wetter the Better Thirty Sex Hours Tinsel Tits Tits of Steel Toxic Shock Trail Order Bride Wet Lay Wickwacker Wingnuts Wishboneher Yeast Infection | Hash Trash |
| Trash for Hockessin Hash #1085 So, the slobbering pack met at the parking lot near the intersection of Brandywine Creek Road and Beaver Dam Road overlooking the beautiful Brandywine River on a cool, damp mid 60-ish degree evening of Wednesday, June 3, 2015 AD.Hashers I remember being present included: Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Wet Lay, Bunion Butt, Kum On Inn, Trail Order Bride, Tinsel Tits, Pickle Dick, Asshopper, Wetter the Better, Necropheelmeup, Pubeheateher, Perfect Woman, Pissticide, Thirty-Sex-Hours, Magic Carpet Ride, Cribsnatcher, Wishboneher, Wickwacker, Lost Boy, Butt Lite, Happy Ending, Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, Tits of Steel, Feral Pussy, Dirty Wet Pussy, International House of Virgins, Do Me on the Beach, Devil Woman, Butthead, Dead End, Wing Nuts, Yeast Infection and . . .? Our trio of Hares for the evening was Toxic Shock, Cousin It and his canine companion, Famous Jack, who both suspiciously showed up soaking wet and mud-covered, no doubt a preview of cuming attractions. After imbibing on some of Cousin It’s legendary home brew to sharpen the senses prior to tackling impending water and mud hazards, chalk talk commenced somewhat promptly (for hashers anyway) so as to ensure enough daylight to recover any potential stray bodies from ensuing trail. Cousin It explained the chalk marks, including a check-back 3 which it was hoped that a non-nearsighted FRB would have the wherewithal to spot, but stranger blunders have been known to occur. Perhaps the other two Hares had assumed that Famous Jack would explain the pink ribbons on trail, but Famous Jack was more interested in sniffing the asses of the other dogs present so alas, this detail was overlooked for the time being. On-On!True trail took us through the parking lot where we quickly found marks leading through a path next to the river. Cuming to our first check, Wing Nuts and the other loose screws who were dim enough to follow went straight until the marks ran out. Skidmarks sent Pubeheateher up a false uphill trail, which he happily climbed like a dog chasing a well-thrown projectile. Cribsnatcher and Michelangelo were running ahead like they knew something and Fuck-5 was perceptive enough to find the pink ribbon through a field, which Toxic Shock explained, “Oh yeah, we laid the trail on Sunday with those ribbons, then went over it with chalk today!” Thanks for the warning! On-On!Pink ribbon adorned poison-ivy fields led us into an array of tall grass, corn fields and eventually to a road with a stream which we assumed we were meant to cross. It seemed that the logical way to cross said stream would be traipsing across the damn dam, however this became unclear once we reached the other side as we ran out of marks, then found two different sets of them in opposite directions. After much raging and gnashing of teeth, the pack converged into a downward sloping field where Tits of Steel did her best Jack and Jill impression by rolling down most of the hill and Tinsel Tits broke out into a rousing “The Hills are Alive!” chorus. Back to business, the pack discovered marks leading down a road and into what appeared to be someone’s private property, but since when do such obtuse boundaries deter the hashers? On-On!Next trail took us down a familiar path next to the river where marks became sporadic until the dreaded check-back 3 was discovered. The choices were either up a huge hill or across the Brandywine, so while Pube and Wing Nuts happily checked out the hill, the rest of us scouted out a “potentially safe” area to wade, swim, float, flail or doggie-paddle across. On the other side, the only possible “marks” anywhere were some remnants of pink ribbons on the ground, but having nothing else to follow, it seemed like a novel idea. Fortunately, we chose wisely and were led to the elusive “beer near” at the covered bridge. Here we were treated to some you-can’t-pay-for-this-type-of spontaneous entertainment involving all of us egging on the unsure driver of a mattress truck that, “Suuuure, of course you can make it across that bridge! You’ll totally fit!” and after that a game of chicken between a pick-up-truck and SUV who both thought that it was their turn to cross next. Turns out the mattress truck DID make it and it was indeed the pick-up truck’s turn to cross next. On-On!Though the parking lot was a mere stones-throw away, the Hares could not resist taking us back through one last creek crossing. Here there was much carnage involving hash crashing, hash splashing, hasher heckling and deep water swimming, much appreciated by Wetter the Better who was fully submerged and smiling ear-to-ear. The drowned rats eventually dragged their soggy, sorry asses up the muddy river bank and everyone, as far as I know was accounted for. Now hurry up with that circle, time’s a-wastin’! Penalties and awards were dished out and songs were sung with our illustrious RA, Wishboneher doing her best to keep things moving slightly faster than typical hasher speed in the fading light. The Hares drank once for their shitty trail that of course did not have enough water crossings, mud or shiggy and again for “Oh yeah, there’s pink ribbon out there!” Speaking of pink, a too-numerous pack of pathetic pussies drank for not wanting to get their manicured feet wet and opting to stay on dry land while the rest of us did our best imitations of spawning salmon. IHOV drank for what looked to be a bad break-dancing move on trail, then again for not wanting to get muddy while Pube drank for whining about IHOV not wanting to get muddy while Thirty-Sex-Hours drank for failing to accuse IHOV of “being a baby.” Ur?? Pissticide drank for gracing us with his presence as a “visitor” once again, though it is unclear if he actually spends any amount of time in his native Hotlanta. Several hashers drank for hash-crashes, including Trail Order Bride and yours truly (twice) for crashing on both riverbanks. Wing Nuts drank for the mattress truck and chicken show, just for the hell of it and Feral Pussy, Dead End and Yeast Infection for being clean and fresh, aka auto-hashing. And last but not least, Bunion Butt and Wet Lay drank for the announcement that they are officially taking each other off the market, so congrats on their future nuptials! Now hurry up you wankers, night is falling! Following circle, we all feasted upon a wonderful spread of fried chicken, tuna sandwiches, potato salad, cole slaw and bag and bags of chips and cookies as we loitered around in the parking lot until we could no longer see our beers in front of our faces. All-in-all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1086 this Wednesday. On! On!Necropheelmeup | |