Hockessin Hash House Harriers History

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Hash Details
Hash Number:1082
What:Hockessin Hash #1082 - Take this job and Hash it!
When:May 13, 2015
Where:5341 Limestone Road, Wilmington, DE
Hares:Bunion Butt
Wet Lay
What:  Hockessin Hash #1082, “Take this job and Hash it!” 
When:  Wednesday, May 13, 2015, at 6:30pm HST 
Where:  5341 Limestone Road, Wilmington, DE 19808 ... i.e., find Tyler Fitzgerald’s and we’ll meet in the rear parking lot 
Who:  Wet Lay and Bunion Butt
What Else:  Come help Wet Lay celebrate her upcoming departure from her employer in hash style! Dog/Child Friendly:  Trail, yes, apres, yes, bring a chair; on after, no D'erections:  From I-95, take exit for Route 7 North. Go 7.4 miles, turn right on Ocheltree Lane. Turn right into Shops of Limestone Hills (PNC Bank, Brew HaHa), a quick left by Coldwell Banker Realtors, and a quick right into the rear parking lot.
Bunion Butt
Circle Jerk
Cousin It
Dancing Fool
Devil Woman
Dirty Wet Pussy
Do Me On the Beach
Famous Jack
Gizz Specialist
Kum On Inn
Lost Penis
Magic Carpet Ride
Perfect Woman
Pickle Dick
The International House of Virgins
The Wetter the Better
Tinsel Tits
Tits of Steel
Toxic Shock
Trail Order Bride
Wet Lay
Woody Woodpecker
Hash Trash
Trash for Hockessin Hash #1082
So, the slobbering pack met in the parking lot of the Limestone Road shopping center in Pike Creek on a cool, springy, mid 60-ish degree evening of Wednesday, May 13, 2015 AD.Hashers I remember being present included: Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Wet Lay, Bunion Butt, Devil Woman, Circle Jerk, Do Me on the Beach, Woody, Butthead, Kum On Inn, Trail Order Bride, Tinsel Tits, Pickle Dick, Asshopper, Wetter the Better, Necropheelmeup, Pubeheateher, Dirty Wet Pussy, Magic Carpet Ride, Perfect Woman, Cousin It with Famous Jack, Tits of Steel, International House of Virgins, Dancing Fool, Narcigism, Wing Nuts, Toxic Shock, Wishboneher, Wickwacker, Giz Specialist, Cribsnatcher, NFN Daniel, Just Chris, Just Kale and . . .?
Our illustrious Hares for the day were Bunion Butt and the enthusiastic Wet Lay who was celebrating giving her job of 18 years the finger by what else…a hash entitled, “Take This Job and Hash It!”  The evening began with the “Wets” stepping forward, i.e., Wetter the Better adorning Wet Lay with a homemade T-shirt to commemorate the blessed event.  Eventually, Skidmarks stepped forward to perform chalk-talk as his partner in crime, Wishboneher, was apparently indisposed at the moment.  The pack was graced with the presence of two virgins, including another fugitive from Wet Lay’s sweat shop.  After they were properly introduced to the art of hashing and Wet Lay said something about some checks, a Beer Near, and maybe some true trail arrows, we took off across the parking lot.
On-On! After meandering around the parking lot and getting stared-down by small-child-on-bicycle, Trail Order Bride uttered, “I think there’s a mark over here!”  While the operative phrase of “On-On!” is preferred, we pretty much figured we were meant to follow him.  Next we reached a blue check, with the pack splitting in two, but eventually realizing that trail was taking us into the nearby field of shiggy.  We would all get to know this field of shiggy a little too well.  
On-On!Save for Tits of Steel hash-crashing into one of the many ankle-twisting holes, the pack was moving forward ... until we seemed to run out of marks.  Pubeheateher, IHOV leading the virgins, and Skidmarks eventually found some marks leading to the left through a curtain of thorns, where we all followed.  At this point, however one of our Hares, Bunion Butt, a.k.a. Mr. Magoo, informed us that instead of “On-On,” we were indeed “No-No!”  So, we all circled back to look for marks going the other way.  Dirty Wet Pussy found some bird shit on a tree, but no marks were to be found.  “On-Hare!” was being called frequently as Bunion Butt wandered through the brush saying, “I think this looks familiar!”  Apparently not, for us wankers continued to circle the area for a second and third time collecting more blood on trail and cries for blood toward the sight-challenged Hare.  Eventually, Bunion Butt determined that the No-No was after all, an On-On, so off we went on our obscenity-muttering way.
On-On!Still stuck in the shiggy, we came upon a creek.  Pube thought he saw some marks across the water, but of course, there were none, so he proceeded to launch himself back across the creek landing chest-first and scoring an 8.5 for artistic impression.  Eventually, we climbed out of the greenage and were met with an asphalt path which led us through a neighborhood to a much needed Beer Near.  Here we were greeted by autohasher, Wishboneher, and Wet Lay who actually tried to take the blame for her half-blind co-Hare and the trail of tears we had just left behind.  A sweet gesture that no one bought.  After much beer was enjoyed and DWP obeyed the tits-stop sign that Wishboneher had drawn in the road, we eventually wandered off up the cul-de-sac of unknown name.
On-On!Not to disappoint, the marks led us back into more shiggy through a field of giant leaves with sticks hidden in between.  At this point, about half the pack had gone down or left blood on various foliage.  Onward through a mucky creek, we eventually came upon an arrow pointing into some shiggy to the right ... however, there was also a road to the right.  Those wankers with brain cells intact ventured up the road, while the masochists continued to hurl themselves through the thorns.  Finally, the wounded wildebeests joined the others up the road, thrilled to discover the “On In” at the top!    
Penalties and awards were dished out and songs were sung.  Pickle Dick and Perfect Woman, who had decided to head back early from the Beer Near got to do down-downs for joint FRB’s.  Circle Jerk managed to receive last-in honors, though no one saw him on trail, save for Wing Nuts who thought he was following some random person at some point.  The Hares drank many times, including for misdirection and pulling the FRB’s off their shitty trail.   A special down-down was dedicated to those who had indeed “wrapped their lips around Bunion Butt’s meat” at some point in life, though only two came forward.  Obviously the rest were just shy.  Most of the pack drank for either hash-crash or blood on trail, Bunion Butt having managed to get dog blood on his shirt prior to trail.  Our visitor from Virginia, NFN Daniel opted to sing us a very short song.  Kum On Inn (of course) and Narcigism drank for race shirts with Cousin It accompanying them for some techy work shirt he was wearing.  Skidmarks who had the privilege of carrying the sleeve of beer got to drink with the virgins he had tempted into sharing his delicacies. Cribsnatcher ended up showing up out of nowhere at the end, just in time to bring the food.   Other items worthy of note discovered on trail were a baseball retrieved by NFN Daniel and Dancing Fool ended up stealing home plate (yes, an actual home plate)!
Following circle, we all feasted upon pizza from Wet Lay’s favorite place to get balls (of dough).  Most of us posed for a F-U moment as we mooned Wet Lay’s office building.  Ah, parting is such sweet sorrow, but Wet Lay says she looks forward to scouting out some uncharted trail near her new place of work which we will all look forward to.
All in all, it was another shitty trail.  Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1083 with mystery Hare this Wednesday!
On! On!