Hitting save is very important... database sync isn't working and I am lazy
|What:||Hockessin Hash #1155 - Trail 4 of 4 in the Month of Me, Menage-a-Skids|
|When:||Sept. 24, 2016|
|Where:||Victory Brewing, Kennett Square, PA|
|What: Hockessin Hash #1155, Trail 4 of 4 in the Month of Me, Menage-a-Skids|
When: Saturday, September 24, 2016 at 3PEEm, HST Where: Victory Brewing in Kennett Sq., PA. Same location as the Blue Hen Hash the night before. Park in the over flow lot.
Who Hare: Skidmarks and Lost Penis
Why: From da hare "Because the 3rd Quaddrenial of the Month of ME must come to an end. After hashing in 3 different states, seeing a rodeo, and eating crabs, I'm finally setting the last trail in PA. And after that I get a few weeks of not setting trail ... awesome."
Friendlies: Kids -- yes, dogs -- ???.
What Else: We are planning on an outside apres, so you might want to think about bring a chair.
D'erections: Figure out the best way for you to get to Kennett Square (Limestone Rd or Rt. 41 to Kaolin Rd; Rt. 82; Rt. 52 to Rt. 1; etc.). Then look at this map. Questions / Comments / Lost - call or texted Skidmarks
Dirty Wet Pussy
Do Me On the Beach
Hare Today Cum Tomorrow
Jewel of Duh-Nile
Sandy Penis Beach
The International House of Virgins
Tits of Steel
|Trash for Hockessin Hash #1155: Trail 4 of 4 in the Month of Me, Menage-a-Skids, aka the PA version|
So, the slobbering pack made their way up to not-so-aroma-therapeutic, mushroom capitol of the universe Kennett Square, PA for the fourth and final hash of the month of Skidmarks on a sunny, pleasant, feeling-like-fall, mid 70-ish degree afternoon of September 24th, 2016 AD. Hashers I remember encountering at some point or other included: Jewel of Duh-Nile, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Skidmarks, Lost Penis, Dirty Wet Pussy, Wet Lay, Bunion Butt, Groper, Do Me On the Beach, Circle Jerk, International House of Virgins, Tits of Steel, Rug Burn, Sandy Penis, Butt Lite, Woody, Lost Boy, Family Jules, Hare Today Cum Tomorrow, WishBoneHer and ...?
Like a broken record, our hare for the day was again Skidmarks, with co-hare responsibilities defaulting to Lost Penis for trail #4 of the month of Skid-tember. We gathered in the overflow lot (and by the smell of it, community urinal) of Victory Brewing Company which had also served as the starting point for the Blue Hen trail the night before, so those marks that remained were simply crossed-off and retooled with some modifications. Whilst we sipped on our own piss-in-a-can and attempted to continue draining the glow-in-the-dark “green drank” that recently-departed-to-Florida Trail Order Bride had left behind for us, our RA for the day WishBoneHer yelled us together to pay attention to Skids’ marks (heh). There was to be a combination of flour, chalk and pink ribbon and a choose-your-own adventure “witchy-way” which would have marks in only one of two directions. There were also not one, not two, but THREE Beer Nears (to which there was much rejoicing) as well as two Mississippi-family-reunions (or Alabama, West Virginia or insert other state) song stops in which the entire group was to wait until everyone dragged their asses to the designated music notes and we were to sing a song, one of our choosing, and one which would be foretold to us somehow (to which there was less rejoicing). Again there was an arrow pointing us in the wrong direction, so after we were instructed to go the opposite way, we headed off into the piss-smelling construction site, behind the piles of dirt in search of flour, a clue, and our sanity.
Circle Jerk, who was really the native guide for the Louis and Clark expeditions, informed us that there was “some kind of trail” in the vicinity amongst the dirt piles and construction equipment. Sure enough, flour was spotted leading us haphazardly through a field and up to the railroad tracks where the witchy-way bewitched a few, but eventually led us right down the tracks. Navigating on railroad tracks always presents its own problems (ask Sandy Penis!), but this one had us crossing a bridge with some rather large gaps in between. This was not for the faint-of-heart, but nearly caused Family Jules to faint as she attempted to crawl her way across without losing her shit. Some checks thwarted the FRB’s, but trail had us veering off the tracks into some shiggy before leading us back to civilization and into the parking lot of a shopping center.
Jewel-of-Duh-Nile and Woody found some marks zig-zagging through the parking lot, then ran out of marks until Do Me spotted the clear-as-mud Beer Near scrawled in chalk pointing us around the back of the building where Lost Penis flashed us (with her car headlights) and we were welcomed to the first Beer Near. Not only did our stop contain beer, but “Skipper,” a tasty combination of vodka, lemonade and beer which is not only tart, but tends to sneak up on you and go down easy…like certain hashers. We were also joined by the auto-hashing Wet Lay and PubeHeAteHer, who were feeling under-the-weather but would not be stopped from completing the quadfecta of Skidmarks trails. After we lingered for a while, Hare Today was hurried through his “men’s room” break on the nearby railroad tracks by some impatient wankers who were eager to get back on track(s), so it was time to secure the goods and ...
And so, down the tracks we ventured with the FRB’s again wrongly blowing through a check where we were again to head right through a patch of shiggy again. Repetition is apparently not the best teacher when you have the brain of a goldfish. This shiggy nearly ate Family Jules and several other wankers who took their sweet time trampling the man-eating thorns down for the rest of us. At last, we were out of the shiggy and into the safety of ... a driving range where golf balls were landing all around us which may or may not have been hurled back at those hitting them in our general direction. At least we were greeted by our first song stop next, which was surely set by our caring hares to ensure that everyone was present and accounted for and not too-too wounded by any wild life or wild projectiles.
Our journey next led us across a Be Very Careful road where we got hung-up on a check, headed up a rather extensive hill and into a field of shit (quite literally). The smell had several of us moving a little more quickly until we found ourselves snared (again quite literally) in a patch of man-eating thorns again which tended to dig deeper the more you tried to remove yourselves from them. Fortunately, once we were out of their clutches, we didn’t have far to go to the next Beer Near at the end of a cul-de-sac. More beer was consumed, while some was used to wash the blood off and of course, we drained the Skipper a little further. Finally, the wankers who thought they would need more time left early and actually extended their time on trail by messing up a check on a hill and having to come back down while the rest of us simply watched the show and continued to drink.
Trail then had us traversing through a wooded area, where we were warned about a false trail leading to someone’s house that Woody managed to check-out anyway. Once we found our way out and back on pavement, we wound our way up to a church where the 2nd song stop symbol was located next to a church van with the inscription “Jesus Saves” on the back. It was apparent what our designated song must be, so we broke out into many verses of why “Jesus can’t go hashing” until the pack was reunited. After this, we traversed down a long stretch of road leading us to a neighborhood that was very nice until the hashers showed-up. It contained a lovely, safety-oriented playground which clearly stated that it was for residents and children, but we figured we fit one of the categories so it was the perfect location for our last Beer Near. After we had properly imbibed, the pack tested the durability of most of the playground equipment and got up close and personal with the spinning stripper-pole apparatus before deciding we should probably vacate the area before the cops showed up to yet another hash.
Most of the pack was tricked into following the last check wrongly into a field after those of us who hashed here the night before hung back and let them wander aimlessly for a while. Instead, we continued our trek through the edge of people’s backyards and down to Baltimore Pike which led us at long last to the On In where more beer, Skipper, and green drank still awaited.
Once everyone had made the journey back, our RA WishBoneHer gathered her thoughts and us together to begin circle by first honoring our hares, Skidmarks and Lost Penis, for a most shitty trail with not enough man-eating shiggy, falling golf balls, or railroad tracks involved. Hare Today Cum Tomorrow apparently needed more to drink as he was first in, while Butt Lite took it up the rear as DFL. Rug Burn drank for crashing at yet another hash while there was much blood left on trail by most everyone else in circle. We all drank a social to drain most of the green drank for our MIA hare-raiser, Kum On Inn and Trail Order Bride. Lost Boy was called-out for using nerd names again, so all the “Losts” drank. All of the RA’s present drank several times just because and Family Jules drank for almost not making it back alive, thus indicating that all “Jewels” should drink just because. All who had the wherewithal, testicular fortitude or had simply lost their minds and completed all 4 Skidmarks trails (Lost, Pube, Necro, Do Me, Groper, Ihov, Tits, Dirty, Jewels, Wet Lay and Bunion Butt) shared a drink to be continued in another 4 years. And last, but certainly not least, Skidmarks was properly honored, ridiculed and otherwise serenaded for his 4 shitty trails in 4 not-necessarily shitty (except for New Jersey) states. WishBoneHer led us in a special “Month of Skidmarks” song while Pube presented him with a calendar of mostly nude women, except for Miss September which happened to be a lovely somewhat-drunken photo of Skidmarks in all his glory. Finally, after the accolades began to turn into a shit-show, Woody dismissed the rowdies with “May the hash go in peace” so we could continue to disturb the peace in peace.
Following circle, the hares treated us to mass quantities of baked ziti, Caesar salad, more beer and the last remaining drops of green drank which may or may not have encountered a tripping hazard and most of us made the trek across the street to Victory Brewing Company afterwards for some actual quality beer. All in all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1155 this Saturday, the Reform School hash.On-On!NecroPheelMeUp