I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1276 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1276 |
| When: | Jan. 5, 2019 |
| Where: | 113 Venus Drive, Newark, DE |
| Hares: | Pickle Dick Tinsel Tits | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1276 When: Saturday, January 5, 2019 at 3pm HST Where: 113 Venus Dr Newark, DE, 19711 Who Hare: Tinsel Tits and Pickle Dick What Else: May be wet and muddy so bring clean shoes for the Aprés or leave em outside please. Friendlies: No. Hash Cash: $7 D'erections: From I-95, take Rt 273 towards Newark and follow to Red Mill Road. Turn right on Red Mill then left on Red Mill and follow to Rt. 2 (Kirkwood Highway) then straight across to Polly Drummond Hill Rd. Take Polly Drummond to Rt. 72 (Paper Mill Rd) and turn right. At the next light turn left onto North Star Rd. About 1 mile turn right on Venus Drive. You can park along Venus or turn right onto Jupiter and park along Jupiter. Lost? Call PD . Hopefully I’ll answer. | Hashers |
| American Halfass Asshopper Dead End Devil Woman Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Groper Jewel of Duh-Nile Mary Fucking Poppins NecroPheelMeUp On the Rag Pickle Dick PubeHeAteHer Shit Out of Luck Spit Bucket The Wetter the Better Tinsel Tits Toxic Shock Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Trash for Hockessin Hash #1276 So, the slobbering pack met up at the home of our hares on Venus Drive in the intergalactic planetary Northstar neighborhood of Newark, DE on another damp, gray, mid 40-ish degree afternoon of Saturday, January 5, 2019 A.D. for the first hash of the hashy new year. Hashers I remember being present at some point or other included Mary Fucking Poppins, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Woody, Dirty Wet Pussy, American Halfass, Shit Out Of Luck, Spit Bucket, Jewel of Duh-Nile, Do Me On the Beach, On the Rag, Devil Woman, Toxic Shock, Asshopper, The Wetter the Better, Groper, Dead End and . . .? Our hares for today were the dynamic duo of Tinsel Tits and Pickle Dick who were hoping their marks remained visible after yet another Saturday morning deluge in soggy DE. We gathered up in the hares’ garage for some shelter from the elements while enjoying a wide assortment of leftover holiday party beers and toasting to a hashy 2019. Our RA for the day, Woody eventually huddled us up for chalk-talk as we gathered around the flour marks the hares had thrown down on their garage floor. Tinsel explained that there would be many checks, some “you’re fucked” marks, two BVC’s where you must “Be Very Careless” crossing the road, as Tinsel said she almost got run over by one of her neighbors. There would also be the usual flour blobs, a Shot Stop, a Beer Near or two and a Turkey/Eagle split (of which we were informed there WAS a difference). Pickle also informed us there would be a few pink ribbons and two in particular which would mark a Jolly-J check (with no actual mark, due to the potential for it to be washed-away by now). Tinsel also informed us that we should look for some tags with numbers on them throughout the trail, but we should only take one each, the point of which we were to find out about later. And so, we began to follow the true-trail arrow, but were immediately called back by Tinsel who had to re-draw it in the actual direction that we should go. So, starting again, we Head-ed in the direction of the bamboo patch maze in the hares’ side yard. On-On! A few of us navigated through the narrow bamboo until we made it out to the adjacent neighborhood, discovering that the smarter hashers amongst us had simply gone around. We hit a bunch of checks up and around the hilly streets until we came to our first Turkey/Eagle split. The Eagles ran a little extra after Pube mistook an arrow for a False, but eventually we met up on Crossan Road until we banged a left into some roadside shiggy. On-On! Asshopper had decided he was going to try to run like an Eagle, but instead he epically hash-crashed like the Turkey he was. American Halfass also took a spread-Eagle dive into the dirt (probably because of that Chicago Bears shirt he was wearing), so we enjoyed some laughs at their expense before checking that they were ok. We found flour marks on trees which led us to some actual trails which we squished through on the muddy terrain, down, down till we reached a bridge over a stream where a cooler was waiting for us at the Beer Near. And so, once everyone had successfully descended the trail of mud, we enjoyed our brewskies whilst testing the durability of the somewhat-uneven bridge. We discovered that a few of the wanks had found some of the tags on trail, while the many overlooked ones had been picked-up by the sweeping Tinsel. And so, eventually Tinel pointed us in the direction we should go, so down the trails and back into the mud we ventured where more tags were discovered hanging on the nearby trees. On-On! The trails became steeper and the mud holes muddier as we made our way through the shiggy and out to the road where the next Turkey/Eagle split was discovered. The Eagles banged a right and Head-ed up a steep hill which wound them around in a P-shape until we discovered that this P-fuckadelic circle-jerk was bringing us straight back to where we had cum. Spit Bucket, Jewels and Toxic Shock who were hashing smarter simply skipped the P-fuck all together. Then there were the not-so-smart Woody and MFP who ended up getting chased by a large dog and chased their own tails twice, somehow looking for trail in all the wrong places. The rest of us met up at the Beer Near at Northstar Pool and called “On-On” for a while in the hopes that the lost wanks might somehow find a clue. But eventually we gave up, left them for dead and continued on our way. On-On! We Head-ed back into more shiggy, muddy trails where some locals has set up some lawn furniture to enjoy the lovely surroundings. Eventually, Jewels discovered the Shot Stop which was graffitied on a concrete brick structure, which was obviously not obvious enough for Pube, because he had blown by it about 5 minutes prior. And so, whilst we waited for him to find the J-stop and eventually return to us, we enjoyed the handle of Fireball that had been hidden behind the wall. And just as we were vacating the area, MFP and Woody rejoined us from across the creek with tails of woe from their running-around-in-circles-away-from-dog adventure. Meanwhile, Pube shared the Jolly-J with MFP who managed to be DFL at the time. On-On! And finally, after skiing down a mud slope and climbing back out of the muck into the neighborhood, we were at last sucked into the gravitational pull of the planet neighborhood and made our way back to Venus Drive to the On-In. Once all the wanks dragged in, including late-cummers, Weird Al and Bumpy Beaver, Woody bellowed the shit-show into motion. The hares drank many times for not having enough mud on trail, for auto-haring the Eagle trail and for making the Eagle trail turn back on itself. While they were doing that, Woody and MFP drank for running in a fucking circle twice. Spit Bucket and American Half-Ass drank for being FRB’s while DWP drank for DFL. Pube drank for making the Eagles run an extra quarter-mile. American Half-Ass, Asshopper and OTR drank for hash crashing and/or blood on trail. American Half-Ass and Shit Out of Luck drank for this being their last H4 trail for a while as Wetter led us in a “please don’t go” song. Once the dry lips finished things off, Woody declared that the hash go in peace and Tinsel informed us that the number tags we had found on trail was just a ploy for her to get rid of a bunch of crap around her house that she didn’t want anymore. One-by-one we got to pick newspaper-wrapped “treasures” including ornaments, glassware, a ‘please-ring-for-service’ bell and a gumball machine which was found to contain plastic gumballs by MFP who tried to eat them. Following circle and the gift disposal, the hares treated us to a tasty spread of quiches, baked carrots, Caesar salad, pasta and lemon bars. More beer more beer more beer was enjoyed as well as Sambuca with tea (or just straight) as several of us lingered into the evening playing and eventually fucking-up a board game called The Chameleon. And and all in all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1277 this Saturday. On-On! NecroPheelMeUp | |