I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1185 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1185 - "Earth Day is My Birthday TUTU" Hash |
| When: | April 22, 2017 |
| Where: | 715 Art Lane, Newark, DE |
| Hares: | Asshopper The Wetter the Better | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1185 "Earth Day is My Birthday TUTU" Hash (aka, Wetter hijacks the Orifficer's Hash because it's her birthday) When: Saturday, April 22, 2017, at 3pm HST Where: 715 Art Lane, Newark, DE 19713, PLEASE be mindful of where and how you park your ride! Who Hare: The Wetter The Better & Asshopper Why: Come celebrate Earth Day by showing up in your glamorous Tutus so you can smear them dirty with the Earth, we know you like it dirty ... But don't despair, there will be plenty of water crossings for you to wash them clean! What to Bring: Chair for the Apres, Dry Bag will be VERY necessary! You will get wet and you might get cold! Friendlies: Trail, mostly but may have some hard water crossings. Apres, outside, yes. D’erections: From I-95, take Exit 1 for Route 896 N/Newark. Stay right and at the 2nd light, take a right JUST AFTER W Chestnut Hill Rd. The AFTER is a jug-handle to go across, there is no left turn lane at the light. On W Chestnut Hill Rd take the 3rd Right and go to the end. Folks coming N on I-95 can get off an exit early and save the toll and make their way to Rt. 896 South and turn right on W Chestnut Hill. If you're lame enough to get lost...who you gonna call: Asshopper , Wetter | Hashers |
| Asshopper Bunion Butt Bunion's Bitch Butt Lite Cousin It Dead End Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Famous Jack Groper I am 17 Cumming on 18 Jewel of Duh-Nile Lost Penis Magic Carpet Ride Mary Fucking Poppins NecroPheelMeUp Port-a-Ho PubeHeAteHer Skidmarks Spunk Monkey The Wetter the Better Up Piss Creek Wet Lay Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Hash Trash for Hockessin Hash #1185 – The Wetter The Better’s Earth Day Birthday TUTU Hash! So, the slobbering pack met up on Artsy-fartsy Lane at the home of Asshopper and The Wetter the Better in the 19713 (Newark, DE) on a moist, mid 50-ish degree afternoon of April 22, 2017 AD. Hashers I remember encountering at some point or other included: Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Woody, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Dirty Wet Pussy, Dead End, Asshopper, The Wetter the Better, Jewels of Duh-Nile, Butt Lite, Groper, Just Joe, Cousin It with Famous Jack, Magic Carpet Ride, Do Me On the Beach, Bunion’s Bitch, Port-a-Ho with Jasper, Spunk Monkey, I Am 17 Cumming On 18 with Sawyer, Mary Fucking Poppins and ...? Our hares for the day were Asshopper and The Wetter the Better who was celebrating her big 4-0 on the 2-2, thus conjuring the idea for everyone to show up in tutu’s (even Port-a-Ho’s dog, Jasper). And so, the dainty pack of would-be ballerina’s chugged their beers whilst Wetter handed everyone a T-shirt that she had lovingly designed herself to mark the occasion. Eventually, the fairy princesses were all rounded-up for chalk talk by RA Skidmarks so the hares could explain that we would encounter some ED on trail, aka Earth Day activities, not Erectile Disfunction (unless a waist-deep creek crossing was involved). There was also a Jolly-J for the FRB and DFL to share, some checks, Fuck-You’s, Check-Backs, a jello shot stop and two Beer Nears, which would no-doubt keep us busy as we pirouetted through the raindrops. Prior to getting it on, Wetter informed us that our first ED experience was at hand and we were to organize ourselves into 4 relay teams (which we hashers of course did in an orderly fashion). The object was to balance an egg on a spoon (which thankfully were not real eggs, or there would have been a lot of breakfast in the hares’ driveway), run carefully down the driveway to your teammate and hand it off and so-on until all 4 had finished a length. And so, the hashers faced-off as a few eggs bounced off the ground and much cheering and heckling ensued. After everyone crossed the finish line, we were instructed to retreat to the street to actually find trail, so … On-On! We headed down Art Lane, across Chestnut Hill Road into the parking lot of an office complex where we lost marks, which prompted Woody to somehow voluntarily enter water (wearing his impervious magic water shoes) and cross the creek to look for marks, which turned-out not to be there. Bunion’s Bitch eventually found the trail, which was dry at the moment and led us across a bridge where Asshopper was waiting, wondering where the hell we had been. We headed up the road a piece and eventually ended up in a field where Wetter was waiting at the first Beer Near and our second ED of the day. While we waited for everyone to dance in, we sipped some suds and spied some sacks (burlap, that is) on the grass which we figured we would be wearing soon enough. Indeed, we were to grab our sacks and get inside to see who could go the furthest the fastest in an old-fashioned sack race. This time, our relay teams consisted of whoever was ready next and we were off like gazelles bounding through the raindrops. Jewels of Duh-Nile, looking like a professional broad-jumper scaled the distance in about 4 jumps before face-planting into the ground where Wetter and Asshopper had also landed in a heap. It was all fun and games until we realized we had more trail to find, so … On-On! This is the last time we saw Skidmarks, for there were several Check-Backs, checks and Fuck-You’s through the neighborhood streets that threw us off and had Skidmarks chasing his tail all the way to the On In to make sure the beer was safe. Pube found a Jolly-J somewhere along the way and Asshopper was most pleased that all the FRB’s found his Check-Backs and Falses. Soon enough we were rewarded for our efforts with Bear Near #2 after entering Rittenhouse Park. We lingered long enough to wet our lips with beer, get wet by the rain, and for Jasper to get his tutu wet in the creek and then it was time for us to cross the creek and be on our way, so … On-On! We wound through the lovely trails of Rittenhouse Park until we came to an embankment with our last ED identified. Jewels of Duh-Nile ended up becoming a human sled down the steep drop, then made a mud angel like that’s what he intended to do all along. Wetter soon appeared on the other side of the creek with jello shots and a rope which seemed like an exciting combination, so across the creek we ventured, turning around just in time to see Magic Carpet Ride take a ride in the mud. Our last game was to be a tug-of-war, so we formed two somewhat even teams, then pondered whether to simply drop the rope on the count of 3 and watch the other team fall in the mud. We were good sports, though and tugged until one team started dropping the rope and looking for more jello shots instead. Finally, we were off in search of the On In, which was not far and were happy to discover that Skidmarks hadn’t finished off all the beer himself. Once the drowned rats all came back safe and mostly sound, Skidmarks attempted to explain where he had been while gathering us up for circle. Pube and Cousin It drank for FRB and DFL while Skids drank for managing to miss most of trail. Spunk Monkey, Port-a-Ho, and Bunion’s Bitch drank for ignoring us for weeks while Mary Fucking Poppins and Dead End drank for auto-hashing. Jewels of Duh-Nile and Magic Carpet Ride drank for playing in the mud, then Magic for headgear again. Pube and Yours-Truly drank for doing race-ist things at Rugburn and Sandy Penis’ 5k earlier in the day. 17 drank for being a “visitor” again and serenaded us with a song of her own creation. The hares drank for many reasons, well at least Wetter did, for laying a shitty trail, having a birthday, being African and whatever the hell else while she poured and drank many minty shots and received a 40-ouncer and a bottle of tequila to make the evening that much more interesting. Mismanagement drank many times, since this was supposedly the Orificers’ hash before Wetter commandeered it. And finally after many attempts to shut it down, Woody was allowed to deliver “May the hash go in peace,” so we could hurry up and walk 5 steps to the apres’. Following circle, Wetter treated us to some chicken or veggie curry, rice, beans, bread from Wet Lay and many lovely deserts, including birthday cake that Wetter once again outdid herself with some amazing artistic decorating. After the food, we enjoyed a dance party in the living room with disco light and a plethora of music requests. All in all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1186 (the AGM) this Saturday.On-On!NecroPheelMeUp | |