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|What:||Hockessin Hash #1167 - Skidmarks/Mount Me Birthday Trail|
|When:||Dec. 17, 2016|
|Where:||400 Stanton Christiana Rd, Newark, DE|
|What: Hockessin Hash #1167, Skidmarks/Mount Me Birthday Trail|
When: Saturday, December 17, 2016 at 3 PEE-m
Where: Del. Tech. Community College Stanton Campus. 400 Stanton Christiana Rd, Newark, DE 19713. When you pull into campus look for the hares in the lower lot.
Who Hare: Skidmarks and Mount Me
What to Wear and Bring: This will be about the shortest amount of daylight this year, a headlamp would be helpful. Bring a dry bag for the on after.. Xmas is not yet here, so wear your festive best, and bring some good cheer (or beer). .
Why: Well, it is our Birthday Trail and Mount Me needs a side-side.
D'erections: From Wilmington, on I-95, take exit 4B/Chruchman's Crossing/Rt. 7 North/Rt. 58. Stay right and turn right into DelTech at the first light. From Newark on I-95. take exit 4B/Chruchman's Crossing/Rt. 7 North/Rt. 58 and turn into DelTech from Rt. 58 or Rt. 7. Questions / Comments talk to Skidmarks.
Magic Carpet Ride
|Trash for Hockessin Hash #1166, Skidmarks and Mount Me’s Birthday Hash|
So, the slobbering pack met in the lower parking lot of Del Tech Community College Stanton campus in Newark, DE on a shitty, slippery, melting-icy, upper 30-ish degree afternoon of December 17, 2016 AD. Hashers I remember encountering at some point or other included: Butthead, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Skidmarks, Lost Penis, Bunion Butt, Magic Carpet Ride, Mount Me, Toxic Shock, Dancing Fool, Dead End and ...?
Our hares for the day were Skidmarks and Mount Me who decided to start celebrating their birthdays a week or two early. Today’s celebration had apparently begun at the bar a few hours prior as they were scarfing down burgers, fries and wings from the Green Turtle as we arrived. Our beer meister, Bunion Butt added to the festivities by bringing us the extra keg beer left-over from the Christmas party and Lost and Skids also provided us with some tasty homemade cider and rum to mark this joyous occasion. The libations definitely helped to warm our hearts and extremities as the ice from earlier that morning continued to melt and we waited for Dancing Fool to rearrange the shit in his car enough to pull out some personally monogramed balloons (which were conveniently attached to a roll of toilet paper for emergency purposes) for our two hares. At last, Skidmarks explained his marks for chalk talk, which included both red and white flour, some checks, fuck-you’s, a turkey/eagle split and at least 2, if not 3 beer nears. What the hares had failed to mention was that there was also blue flour and some orange ribbons on trail, but I guess they assumed we were smarter than the average wanker and would figure it out eventually ... or not. As we were about to follow the true trail arrow on-out, one of Del Tech’s security guards (who apparently knew Mount Me, but failed to recognize her in civilian clothing) inquired as to what the hell we were doing, but once he was assured that there were no drug deals or gang-bangs going on, he decided to leave us alone, so ...
We found some marks leading through the upper parking lot after scaling an embankment and came upon a check which had us wandering around for a while. Dancing Fool decided to completely ignore the locked chain-link gate with the “No Trespassing” sign on it to see if there were marks or if anyone had littered in the restricted area. Luckily, security was no longer present and we eventually found marks leading us downhill and into the woods. Here we mistook a lot of leaves for the red flour on the trees, but eventually we traversed several trenches of water and mud to lead back into civilization and a Be Very Careful mark instructing us to play Frogger across Route 7.
Fortunately, everyone was accounted-for and we came across the Turkey/Eagle split which led the turkeys along a service drive and the eagles into a nice patch of thorny shiggy with orange ribbons to follow. After managing to get through the man-eating plant section, the eagles had to traverse a creek which meant either leaping like a gazelle or getting wet feet. For most of us, it was the latter, though Pube pulled a Woody and found a tree to shimmy across a little further down. Once we made it out, we found ourselves in the back of a hotel parking lot where we rejoined the turkeys at our first beer near. Here we enjoyed more keg beer, hash swill and cider and rum while we ridiculed the hares for failing to explain all of their marks and they summarily ignored us. At last it was time to forward-march, so ...
We milled-about through some more hotel parking lots and tried not to disrupt any respectable businesses or families out shopping too much, eventually making our way (Being Very Careful) across Churchman’s Road and down a dirt road behind the Hilton. After the FRB’s were thwarted on a long check, we cut through some weeds, back to the pavement and eventually found the second Beer Near written in dark blue chalk (which may be there until spring). To add to the previous libations were some pre-mixed margaritas which we enjoyed while another security guard (this one at Sallie Mae) eyed us up, again ensuring there were no drug deals or gang-bangs going down. Once we had worn-out our welcome for long enough, we were back on trail through the parking lot until Mount Me decided to gift us with our 3rd and final Beer Near by pulling the truck over and again opening the bar for service. After waiting for Bunion Butt to finish peeing and day had turned into night, we were off again to cross the highways back to whence we came and the On-In.
Once everyone had moseyed back, Skids serving as both RA and hare, commenced circle in the back of the truck. The hares drank for not having enough different types of marks on trail and for it not being slippery/icy enough. Yours-truly drank for FRB after Pube stopped short of the On-In. Dancing Fool claimed not to be last in, but was given the honor anyway. Magic Carpet Ride showed-up just in time to drink for auto-hashing along with Dead End (who was securing the parking lot) and Lost Penis (who had ridden with Mount Me to guard the booze). The hares drank again for having birthdays and we all collectively chanted “May the hash go in peace” because we had been cold and wet long enough.
Following circle, we headed over to kill some time at Christiana Pub where we were joined by Port-a-Ho for a few minutes. After that, we crashed-in on Dirty Wet Pussy and Kitchen Bitch’s Christmas party where we enjoyed a luscious spread of amazing food and more libations with many more hashers joining later who had pussied-out on trail. Thanks DWP and KB once again for your fine hospitality. All in all it was another shitty trail as we shit on yet another holiday celebration. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1168, a Merry Butthead Christmas Eve this Saturday and Hockessin Hash #1169, a hashy New Year’s Eve a week from Saturday.
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