Hockessin Hash House Harriers History

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Hash Details
Hash Number:1166
What:Hockessin Hash #1166 - The Anal Xmas Hash, Drunken Mess, and Gift Exchange
When:Dec. 10, 2016
Where:8 Polly Drummond Shopping Center, Newark, DE
Hares:Circle Jerk
Do Me On the Beach
What:  Hockessin Hash #1166, The Anal Xmas Hash, Drunken Mess, and Gift Exchange
When:  Saturday, December 10, 2016 at 2:30 pm  NOTE EARLY START TIME 
Where:  Polly Drummond Shopping Center (McGlynn's Pub ... yes, the same place as last week) 
Who Hare:  Do Me on the Beach, Circle Jerk, and Santa Crib
What Else:  Drunken Mess and Gift Exchange at 1117 Kelly Dr, Newark, DE 19711
What to Wear and Bring:  Dry bag is suggested.  Wear your Xmas best for the run and your worst (e.g., ugly Xmas sweater) for the apres.  Be prepared to go caroling.  Most importantly, bring a hash-appropriate gift — $20 +/-, and … watch people fight over the good gifts.
Friendlies:  Trail is dog friendly, apres house is not (back yard is fenced).
D'erections:  From I-95, take exit 3/Rt 273 East towards Dover.  Turn right toward Newark. Follow to Red Mill Road and turn right. A quick left will put you on Red Mill Road going north. Take Red Mill Road across (Kirkwood Highway) Rt. 2. At this point you will be on Polly Drommond Hill Road.  Follow up to shopping center on the right.  Park at the far end by Dunkin' Donuts.
Bunion Butt
Chasez Boyz
Circle Jerk
Comes for the Big Ones
Cousin It
Dancing Fool
Dead End
Devil Woman
Dick Fingers
Dirty Wet Pussy
Do Me On the Beach
Fast Eddie
Lost Penis
Magic Carpet Ride
Mary Fucking Poppins
Miss Pissylvania
Night Deposit
Pickle Dick
Prom Queen
Smells Like Hash Spirit
Spit Bucket
The Wetter the Better
Wet Lay
Woody Woodpecker
Hash Trash
Trash for Hockessin Hash #1166, H4’s Anal Xmas Hash, Drunken Mess and Gift Exchange
So, the slobbering pack experienced deja vu all over again and for the second week in a row took up space in the parking lot of McGlynn’s Pub in Pike Creek, DE on a chilly, somewhat sunny, low 40-ish degree afternoon of December 10, 2016 AD.  Hashers I remember encountering at some point or other included:  Miss Piss, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Skidmarks, Lost Penis, Groper, Chasez Boyz, Devil Woman, Pickle Dick, Dirty Wet Pussy, Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Mary Fucking Poppins, Circle Jerk with Fast Eddie, Do Me On the Beach, Prom Queen, Spit Bucket, Night Deposit, Butthead, Woody, Cousin It, Cribsnatcher, Cums for the Big Ones, Raidr, WishBoneHer, Magic Carpet Ride, Asshopper, Wetter the Better, Dancing Fool, Smells Like Hash Spirit, Dick Fingers, Dead End and . . .?
Our hares for the day were Circle Jerk, Do Me On the Beach, and Santa Crib for our anal Christmas hash which was to culminate with the usual drunken mess and gift exchange.  Many of the wankers had already donned our gay apparel which we accentuated further with some santa hats graciously provided to us by Santa Crib.  Circle Jerk, sporting his brand new knee stepped forward and threw down some marks for chalk talk which included some checks, Fuck-you’s, a Check Back, some orange and/or pink ribbons, a Turkey/Eagle split or two in which the turkeys were told not to do the eagle trail unless they loved thorns and wanted to lose some blood today, and most-importantly 2 Beer Nears.  There were also two true trail arrows pointing at each other, so we picked one and hoped for the best.  And I heard the hashers exclaim as they dashed out of sight, “I hope we make it back while it’s still light.”             On-On!
We found some marks on the edge of the parking lot which eventually had us not-so-carefully crossing Polly Drummond Road, though the cars couldn’t have hit that many santas at once. We followed PubeHeAteHer wrongly down a dirt road, then some bright stars discovered marks leading into a field which brought us into a flurry of orange ribbons which any blind hasher could’ve followed (maybe).  Then came the Turkey/Eagle split which indeed had the eagles snared in some thorns and Dirty Wet Pussy was able to add some more scars to her legs.  After chasing their asses on some checks, the eagles started following the hunters’ trail ribbons, which happened to be the same color, but luckily they were not mistaken for reindeer and eventually after exploring every false trail, they got back on track near a familiar church.
After scaling the hill to the church parking lot, the eagles at last joined the turkeys who were already lubed-up at the first Beer Near.  Keeping with the H4 Christmas tradition, we toasted the late great Himalaya with Aquavit, pickled herring, and Triscuits in addition to the usual hash swill.  Finally after sufficiently drinking our tributes and getting that warm, fuzzy feeling that only a mixture of beer, liquor, and raw fish can provide, it was time for the drunk santas to adjust their packages and get back on trail, so ...
We frolicked and played the hasher way deep into the heart of Middle Run Park where we soon discovered a second Turkey/Eagle split which led to more running or more slothing, depending on one’s preference.  The booze clearly made the eagles more focused as they managed to avoid disrupting any hunting grounds this time, while visions of more beer danced in the turkeys’ heads (head?).  And Dirty with the hash shit and Skids whistling in our ears, with all of the other hashers, led us to the second of the Bear Nears.  This one was in the Judge Morris parking lot where more beer and more Aquavit were enjoyed, making our spirits bright until it was time to vacate the place and get home before it was night, SO .….
Dashing through the field ... still with the light of day ... the hashers followed marks ... grumbling all the way.  They hadn’t much more trail ... the On-In wasn’t far ... but if they needed beer on the way ... they could always stop at a bar.  OH ... fuck that, time to circle-up already.
Once all were presently present and accounted-for, we headed over to Circle and Do Me’s to be joined by all the auto-hashers and party crashers for circle in the garage.  WishBoneHer and Skids had the honor of attempting to organize the shit-show and it was a Christmas miracle that it ever ended (or began, for that matter).  Down-down cups were paired with the traditional H4 plastic santa goblets and the insulting carols began.  The hares drank for shitting all over Christmas with their shitty trail.  At least half of circle drank for interruptus or auto-hashing and many drank for their ugly Christmas sweaters.  The orificers ended up drinking for some reason and many others drank for no reason.  The shit-show ended with the tennis ball on the string (a parking guide) being ripped off and ending up in Fast Eddie’s mouth and since Woody wasn’t there to provide the benediction, it was a collective “may the hash get a piece” of Christmas pie because we were hungry and wanted presents. 
Following circle, we feasted upon an amazing spread of roast beef sandwiches, baked potatoes, chili, appetizers and tasty desserts provided by many tasty hashers.  Once the drunken mess had gotten to a proper level, the anal gift exchange ensued.  Some highlights and favorites were a giant beer stein (stolen 3 times), a giant flask (also stolen a bunch), many, many bottles of alcohol (stolen repeatedly), a vibrator (not sure where that ended up) and porn (which was passed-around like a $3 whore).  All in all it was another shitty trail…hashy Christmas to all and to all some good ale.  Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1167, Skidmarks and Mount Me’s birthday hash this Saturday.