I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1265 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1265 - Philly Hash's 2000th Run |
| When: | Oct. 20, 2018 |
| Where: | 224 W Tulpehocken St, Philadelphia, PA |
| Hares: | Spit Bucket Tits of Steel | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1265/Philly Hash's 2000th Run When: Saturday, October 20, 2018 at 3pm HST Where: 224 W Tulpehocken St, Philadelphia, PA (Germantown section of Philly) Who Hare: Spitbucket and Tits of Steel What Else: This is a joint hash with Philly for their 2000th. There will be tons of great food – Guinness Irish Stew, sweet potato and black bean chili, Brussels sprout salad, tomato pies, pumpkin pies, and more. There will be tons of great booze – pumpkin beer, Dogfish 60 Minute and Namaste, Sam Adams Oktoberfest, wine, rum-spiked cider, and more. Friendlies: Leave your dogs, cats, snakes, parakeets, and kids at home. Hash Cash: $15 (Your getting a shit-ton, so don’t complain!) D'erections: For those of you who haven’t been to the area, it can be a touch tricky. To avoid any issues (and a road closure), I’m providing the easier to explain/drive route. From I-95N, take exit 13 for PA-291 (stay to left at split). Turn left after bridge to continue on I-76W. Stay in left lane to avoid merge traffic and to continue on 76W. After 8 mileson 76W, split to the right for US 1N/Roosevelt Expressway. Go 7 miles and take ramp toward Henry Ave/Wissahickon Ave North. Merge onto W Roberts Ave and then make right onto Wissahickon Ave. Go 1 mile and turn right onto W Chelten Ave. Go 0.4 mile and turn left onto Wayne Ave. After 0.5mile, turn right onto W Tulpehocken. Or ignore and use your damn GPS! Or, if you’re in the city already, use public transit – Chestnut Hill West Line to Tulpehocken stop. Park on Tulpehocken. There should be plenty of space at that time of day(Please try and carpool though!) DO NOT park in driveway! Enter gate to estate and live the high life! | Hashers |
| Biatch Butt Lite Cause for Blindness Chili Cousin It Cumby Dancing Fool Devil Woman Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Dry Hump Fly Boy Groper Groundhog Lay Hareass Ice Ice Baby Jewel of Duh-Nile Jubal Jug Stain Lost Penis Magically Delicious Mary Fucking Poppins Night Deposit Orgy-Porgy-Put-In-Pie Papsmear Parrothead Pickle Dick RaidR River Man Seaman on the Poop Deck Skidmarks Sphincter Grease Spit Bucket Splash Gordon Spunk Monkey Squishy The International House of Virgins Three Balls Tinsel Tits Tits of Steel Toxic Shock Under the Siege Up Piss Creek Wingnuts Wishboneher | Hash Trash |
| Hash Trash for Hockessin Hash #1265/Philly's 200th Hash So the slobbering pack gathered up in front of a large impressive looking estate/mansion place Tulpehocken street in the Germanburgh section of Philadelphia on the fine Saturday afternoon of October the 20th, 2018 AD, between 2 and 3pm, depending on what time one was informed that the hash was supposed to actually start. This event being a joint hash celebration of the 2000th running, for lack of a better word, of our neighboring Good Ole’ Philadelphia Hash House Harriers, who began their club way back in the days of President Carter, Studio 54, and when the internet was something that only nerds knew how to use, and they only ever used it to send corny, inside jokes to each other. Hashers Present included: Chili, Riverman, The International House of Virgins, Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Dancing Fool, Dirty Wet Pussy, Cumby, Three Balls, Just Christina, Groundhog Lay, Pap Smear, Wing Nuts, Do Me on the Beach, Magically Delicious, Sphincter Grease, Cousin It, Butt Lite, Wishboneher, Spunk Monkey, Ginger, Biatch, RaidR, Jewels of Denial, Orgy Porgy Put N’ Pie, Jubal, Mary Fucking Poppins, Hareass, Cause for Blindness, Pickle Dick, Tinsel Tis, Just Katie, Just David, Splash Gordon, Fly Boy, Dry Hump, Semen on the Poopdeck, Toxic Shock, ButtLite, Groper, Up Piss Creek, Just Tom (Also known as Just John, Just Bill and Just Greg), Jug Stain, Night Deposit, Parrot Head, Ice Ice Baby, Squishy, Under The Siege, Devil Woman, and many, many others. Our hares of the day were Tits of Steel, the most frequently re-elected GM of Philly H3 as of late, and Spitbucket, our most frequent attendant of State Line beer tastings. Our hosts, I understand were virgins Just Darren and Just Kelly. And so, from about 2 to about 3pm we hung out front on the patio of the gianormous mansion and in the front yard, enjoying a great variety of premium brews as well as snacks and donuts and such, until it was time to get the chalk talk started. Wishboneher proclaimed herself RA for the day, and our hares went about the arduous task of explaining the marks to our 6 or 7 virgins, and the rest of us. This particular collection of virgins being a rather attractive one, some thing Wishboneher mentioned several times. Trail was marked in chalk and flour. There was to be a beer check and a shot stop. As well as a song stop, and a J-stop, that I don’t think anybody found, save maybe some local kids. We were also told to look out for a check back, a Turkey-Eagle split, and to heed the Be very Fucking Careful mark. As we were in the big bad city this time. The arrow proved true and off we went. On! On! We found marks going around and through the backyard. Until we came to a gate, that was still locked. But that didn’t stop too many of us. Trail went down the street, around the block, were there was a check or two that didn’t take a lifetime to solve. We followed trail going under a bridge and into some shiggy then back out onto the road. Spitbucket swept/ attempted to direct the FRB’s from going off the many marks that were present, while Tits of Steel led the walkers through every available shortcut. On! On! Trail took us through some shiggy again, until we found a clearing in the wooded part of Germantown where we found the Dancing Fool with our beer for the beer near. And that we enjoyed for a while, as our hares wanted no one to complain about not getting their 15 dollars worth, some of the premium beer available at the pre-lube, was also available there. And so we told a few stories and had a few laughs before we were off again. On! On! Trail took us down a path into Fairmount or Wissahickon park for a while before coming out to some asphalt again. Down the street we went, until we came to the song check. Irritating a few impatient FRB’s, who keep forgetting this isn’t a race. We sang the Yogey bear song until the DFL’s arrived and then we were off again. On! On! Trail took us back into the woods and on a path that led us to the Shot Near. Where we found a conspicuous pink back pack, containing several bottles of liquor like beverages, one of which had pieces of black floaty stuff in it. And so we enjoyed a few shots, and enjoyed complaining about the one bottle having something nasty in it, while we told some more stories and had some more laughs. Before Spitbucket loudly demanded the groups attention for a minute, so he could point out that we were standing on the Turkey Eagle Split. On! On! The Turkeys went down the hill, and some of them may have fell. The Eagles turned right and went up a hill, and then onto across a bridge that spanned the Wissahickon creek. On the other side the eagles found marks going left and it was ... On! Four! The marks led us down the middle of the fairway on an actual golf course while and actual game of golf was being played. And so the golfers cursed at us, called the police, tried to run us over with their carts, and almost pelted a few of us with some high velocity golf balls. One came about a foot within the head of this writer, and an opportunity was narrowly missed to be renamed Tiger’s Wood, Caddy-Shit, Mary Fucking Four, or something like that. Trail fortunately soon went off the fairway, and into some shiggy and down a steep hill, where we found out that the results of our efforts took us back to a check back 69, which in this case meant back to the Turkey Eagle split. Much to the great amusement of our hare. Since there was absolutely no way back there except the way we came, the angry golfers got a second shot at us. On! On! We ran back across the bridge, where we were greeted by Dancing Fool and the picture taking ParrotHead, who barely survived the crab hash a few weeks ago. And that statement is not an embellishment what so ever. The eagles found several ways, and several opportunities for hash crashes back to Turkey Eagle split. On! On! Trail stayed on the beaten path for a while in the park. Then came out to a busy five way intersection, where we encountered the BVC mark, and where there were many motorist moving very quickly while looking at their phones and not on the road. On! On! Trail went across the intersection then up then over past a gas station then another block or two over and up, then took a right back to West Tulpehocken street and back to point A. One by one the hashers straggled back, some a while after the circle got started. Our RA Wishboneher opened circle, with help from Tits of Steel, Skidmarks and everybody else who decided to interrupt. Penalties and Awards were dished out. Songs were sung. Downs Downs were done. The memory of circle is hazy, but the hares drank at least 3 times. Our first inns and last inns, which were difficult to determine drank. Our regular custom of giving down-downs to our interruptus was changed for the occasion to only include those old time Philly hashers who hadn’t made it out in a while. Our overly attractive group of virgins did their virgin down-downs, as well as a few random walkers by who stopped to ask us what the fuck this was all about. Our visitors drank including recent transplants Sphincter Grease and Magically Delicious from Minnesota, I think, who gave us a great visitors song.. As well as anyone whoever made the mistake of being part of Philly Hash mismanagement including Wingnuts, Three Balls, and Pap Smear, who appeared to spend most of the hash with his hands in a bag of Doritos. Many other hashers drank for many other reasons, including almost getting hit by a golf ball, or using nerd names and such. Announcements and birthday’s were skipped as well as anything that happened to be on the mind of Cause For Blindness, as that has been the tradition lately. After the hash went in peace, we enjoyed a fine, fine spread of fall themed dishes. And all who got in line at the buffet table were greeted by the enthusiastic Spit Bucket, who made sure to personally inform everyone who picked up a plate that “There is tomato pie. And here is the brussel sprout salad. And here is pulled pork and the black bean and sweet potato chili. And here is the Guinness Stew, which we have a lot of, so help yourself to seconds and thirds.” With the only seat available to this writer being directly behind Spitbucket, I received this information enough times that I am now hearing it in my sleep. There were also some fine cookies. And for some reason he did not mention the bow-tie pasta with pesto though that was also good. But one would have to be Cousin It to be unaware that soon after a great quantity of Pumpkin Pie was brought out to us. For Spitbucket also announced this loudly. And also many, many times. After trail shenanigans included some post-circle birthday side sides for Groper and Cause For Blindness. And one of the visitors attempted to lead a down-down/ toast with all the other veterans of U.S. military service over seas. However no one who was both present and paying attention to him at the time possessed those qualifications. All and All a fine time was had. And it was the most normal hash we’ve had in a while. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1256, the Halloweenie Hash this cumming Saturday. On! On! MFP | |