Hitting save is very important... database sync isn't working and I am lazy
|What:||Hockessin Hash #1147|
|When:||Aug. 3, 2016|
|Where:||Delcastle Recreation Center, Wilmington, DE|
|What: Hockessin Hash #1147|
When: Wednesday, August 3, 2016 at 6:30 pm, HST
Where: Delcastle Recreation Center, McKennans Church Rd, 2nd entrance (tennis center and basketball courts)
Who Hare: Tinsel Tits and Pickle Dick
What Else: Dry bags are encouraged as always.
Friendlies: Dog friendly trail but not apres.
D'erections: From Rt 2/Kirkwood Hwy go north on Rt 7/Limestone Rd . In about 1/2 mile at Mealy Funeral Home turn to the right onto McKennans Church Rd. From the traffic light at McKennans Church Rd and Milltown Rd go about 1 1/4 miles to the second entrance.(across from the golf course entrance). The sign says Delcastle tennis center and basketball. Park in front of basketball courts. Portapot at the end of lot.
Dirty Wet Pussy
Do Me On the Beach
Hare Today Cum Tomorrow
Jewel of Duh-Nile
Kum On Inn
Magic Carpet Ride
The International House of Virgins
Tits of Steel
|Trash for Hockessin Hash #1147|
So, the slobbering pack met in one of the various parking lots (after parking in various other lots) of the Delcastle Recreation Center in Wilmington, DE on a warm, somewhat sunny, low 80-something degree evening of August 3rd, 2016 AD. Hashers I remember encountering at some point or other included: Jewel of Denial, Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Toxic Shock, Devil Woman, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Cousin It, Groper, Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Hare Today Cum Tomorrow, Dirty Wet Pussy, Pickle Dick, Tinsel Tits, WishBoneHer, Dancing Fool, Magic Carpet Ride, Fuck 5, Closing Time, Just Sara with Cupcake, Just Julie, International House of Virgins, Tits of Steel, Circle Jerk, Do Me On the Beach, Dead End, Rack Attack, Kum On Inn, Perfect Woman, Woody, Spunk Monkey and ...?
Our hares for the day were Pickle Dick and Tinsel Tits who were a little nervous in the beginning with the prospect of fading daylight, which led us to believe we may be getting some extra mileage just for shits and giggles. To quote Tinsel Tits, “Well, I wouldn’t want to do this trail!” Such reassuring words coming from one of the hares who alerted us that her counterpart had been looking out for the “Eagles” today. While we slugged down our beers and waited for the stragglers in other parts of the park to eventually find us, Pickle began to throw down a barrage of various marks. Our RA, WishBoneHer at last called us together for chalk talk and our two virgins, Just Sara (with canine companion, Cupcake) and Just Julie were introduced and both admitted that “Meet Up” made them cum (whoever “Meet Up” is has certainly been getting a lot of action lately). Pickle explained his marks clear as mud, which included a clusterfuck of checks, Falses, Check-Backs, Turkey/Eagle splits, Jolly-J’s (on separate Turkey/Eagle trails), chalk arrows, pink ribbons and the all-important Beer Near (2 of them) and Shot Stop. How we were going to get through all of this in the light of day remained to be seen, and at this point seemingly every wanker in circle was trying to explain to the virgins what to do. Meanwhile, the virgins looked as confused and bewildered as a virgin would and were reassured to just go with it, relax, have another drink and let things happen naturally. Next came the doling out of the hash shit, which the recently traveling Woody was nominated to carry, though he was hiding somewhere behind his busted-ass Saab #2 and who the hell knows what happened to it after that. After much bullshit debating, the sleeve of beer was bestowed upon Spunk Monkey, since he had failed to bring his familiar fanny-pack-beer-coozie and seemed in need of something to swallow on this potentially drawn-out trail. And so, once the fucking-around had reached its peak, Pickle released the Eagles first, which ruffled a few feathers and we followed one of the two chalk arrows pointing us toward the shitters across the grassy field. On-On!
The Turkey/Eagle split had us heading down the familiar paved path where we encountered a few checks and a Check-Back 1 to another check, which caused some confusion and a near miss with a patch of unnecessary shiggy. Woody came across the first Jolly-J and enjoyed a shot of tequila which quote, “burned a hole in my stomach!” No idea who got the other shot, but apparently we all missed another Jolly-J along the way, which perhaps a high school cross-country runner retrieved. After some more check confusion, we were on-hare with Tinsel Tits who was attempting to guide the unwilling pack into the shiggy. Here we came across the pink ribbons where the loud howling of a wounded animal could be heard, which only meant that Woody had encountered water. Marks led up the creek, which had the pack splitting into sea creatures and land mammals. The land mammals enjoyed plodding through some razor-sharp high grass while the sea creatures found themselves waist-deep (or in Dirty’s case, tits-deep) in the refreshing creek water. Eventually, we all came back together at a bridge which led us to the Beer Near/Shot Stop combination. Here we were met by Pickle who treated us to bucket-o-margarita shots and of course plenty of beer. Happy to see that our two virgins were still with us and actually enjoying this affair, we attempted to drain the bucket down until Pickle advised that we get our asses moving again.
Trail turned a couple of rights into a neighborhood as Spunk Monkey reluctantly pointed out that the way back was in the opposite direction. Apparently far from over, we continued up and down some hills and past some movers who cheered us on until we came upon a crossed-out “Beer Near” in the road. Who does that? Apparently (we were informed later), Cribsnatcher who lives in this neighborhood was slated to provide us with a beer near, however pulled-out last minute and left us the mess ... of finding a new location. So, onward we plodded, past some locals with many questions about what the hell we were doing until we made our way to McKean High School to the actual Beer Near. Here Fuck 5, Spunk Monkey and Wet Lay (McKean alums) regaled us with stories of their time served at this establishment of higher learning while we drained the rest of the bucket-o-margs and pounded some more beers. Now the sun was really setting and Pickle again told us to get our asses moving before the darkness prevented us from finding our way back home.
Turns out, several of the walkers headed back early and some were never to be seen again. The rest of the pack made their way through the neighborhood and back to McKennans Church Road. Most of us missed a turn at the golf course, but since the cars were near, more beer was near and so an On In was declared.
Much debate was ensuing over where we should hold circle and it was finally decided that where we were standing was as good a spot as any. So, WishBoneHer circled us up and called our hares front and center so we could hurl insults at them about how short, dry and shiggyless trail was. T oxic Shock was declared first in, but since she was nowhere to be found, Groper (who had remembered the hash horn this week) and Perfect Woman both served as proxy FRB’s while Wet Lay drank again for DFL. Skidmarks took a Mount Me-style dive just to drink for hash crash, while Pube drank for crashing in the creek. These two drank again for racing each other to the non-existent finish line while Woody drank for trying to find better friends, i.e., interuptus. The two virgins were encouraged to show body parts, but had already learned to ignore the pack and instead opted to drink their down-downs. Spunk Monkey triumphantly brought back the beer sleeve empty, though had apparently exchanged the Lagers for the much better-tasting (?) PBR’s. WishBoneHer joined him in a down-down for demanding one of his beers and all the RA’s and virgins were then made to drink together. The sea creatures drank for navigating the entire creek and after much bull-shitting, blah-blah announcements and dicking-around in the dark, Woody was given the floor and announced the much-anticipated benediction, “May the hash go in peace.” Following circle, we all gathered at “that famous bar by Total Wine,” aka Famous Toms where the hares treated us to many varieties of pizza and pasta salad, cucumber salad and rhubarb desert courtesy of their backyard garden. There was a little improvisation needed since Wet Lay and Bunion Butt had locked their keys in the car along with all the plates, napkins and utensils, but that never stopped a hasher from using any means necessary to devour the food in front of them.
All in all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1148 this Wednesday.On-On!NecroPheelMeUp