Hockessin Hash House Harriers History

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Hash Details
Hash Number:1146
What:Hockessin Hash #1146 - Survive the Heat
When:July 27, 2016
Where:4671 Washington Street Extension, Wilmington, DE
What:  Hockessin Hash #1146, Survive the Heat
When:  Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 6:30 pm, HST 
Where:  4671 Washington Street Extension, Wilmington, DE 19801
Who Hare:  F5
Friendlies:  Dog friendly trail but not apres.  
D'erections:  From Newark take I-95 North take Exit 9 (Marsh rd) and make right turn onto Carr rd (before you get to Marsh rd.).  Follow Carr rd. to Washington St. Extension and make a right.  Entrance to Rockwood Park will be on your right after the Shipley Rd. intersection.  Do not try the Shipley Rd. entrance, it has been closed.  From points north take I-95 South to Exit 9 and make a left onto Marsh Rd.  Follow to Washington St. Extension and make a right.  Entrance to Rockwood will be on your right.  Follow park road all the way up to the Carriage House.  There is parking in front of the Carriage House, look for hashers and park.
Bee Orgy
Bunion Butt
Butt Lite
Closing Time
Cock a Doodle Don't
Cousin It
Cuddle Puncher
Dancing Fool
Devil Woman
Dirty Wet Pussy
Hare Today Cum Tomorrow
Jewel of Duh-Nile
Kum On Inn
Lost Boy
Lost Penis
Magic Carpet Ride
Mount Me
Perfect Woman
Pickle Dick
Spit Bucket
Spunk Monkey
Toxic Shock
Wet Lay
Yeast Infection
Hash Trash
Trash for Hockessin Hash #1146
So, the slobbering pack met in the parking lot of the fancy-shmancy Carriage House in Rockwood Park in the north, nice part of Wilmington, DE on a hot, sweat-inducing 90-something degree evening of July 27, 2016 AD.  Hashers I remember encountering at some point or other included: Lost Boy, Jewels of Denial, Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Toxic Shock, Devil Woman, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Cousin It, Groper, Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Hare Today, Cum tomorrow, Dirty Wet Pussy, Mount Me, Butt Lite, Cuddle Puncher, Spit Bucket, Pickle Dick, Asshopper, Dancing Fool, Just Robert, Bee Orgy, Magic Carpet Ride, Yeast Infection, Fuck 5, Closing Time, Cock-a-doodle-don’t, Kum On Inn, Perfect Woman, Just Ben, Port-a-ho, STD, Just Steve, Spunk Monkey and ...?
Our hare for the day was Fuck-Fuck-Fuck-Fuck-Fuck, aka Fuck 5 with immoral support/ass-istance from PubeHeAteHer. Fuck 5 has perhaps set a record for the longest span of time hashing without ever haring, so expectations were high for this 15-years-in-the-making trail.  We were sharing the property with the local Shakespeare Festival this evening, which had us all wondering if trail was To Be Or Not To Be a Tempest or Comedy of Errors, however Fuck 5 assured us that this was Much Ado About Nothing, and that we should just enjoy our Midsummer Night’s Dream as usual.  After we had loitered with our beers long enough, RA Skidmarks rallied us together for chalk talk and the outing of our two virgins.  Just Steve presented as a friend of Groper’s or Dirty’s and there was some debate as to who made him cum, so it was determined that both had a “hand” in this.  Just Robert, originally from Manchester, England then stepped forward saying that the Internet (aka, MeetUp) made him cum, to which we all admitted that we were made to cum by the Internet from time to time.  Cuddle Puncher was our visitor from Memphis, now living in Montana, though admitted to mostly travel-hashing since his home hash was considered like some of the landscape out there, lifeless and desolate.  Since the hash shit was apparently still in Wishboneher’s car, the only item to be doled-out this week was the becoming-heavily-duct-taped sleeve of beer. Lost Boy nominate Spit Bucket, since we hadn’t seen him for a while and needed something to slow him down so we could enjoy his presence for a little longer.  F5 explained the marks, which were the usual checks, Fuck-you’s and the all-important Beer Near, though he nearly forgot to mention the Turkey/Eagle split until his cum-sultant, Pube formed what little flour was left into a T/E on the pavement. At last, we were instructed to follow the true arrow and the arrow that might be true and we were off As You Like It into the hot, steamy night.
Pickle Dick led the charge in the wrong direction, mistaking some bird shit for flour and we all found ourselves standing around on the bike path not knowing whether to go left or right.  Turns out, it was back to the hares who were standing there at two checks we had overlooked, perhaps due to sun glare, too much pre-lubing or simply stupidity.  At last, we were headed in the correct direction on the bike path which brought us down to a Be Very Careful warning as we crossed Shipley Road, and there on the other side was a confused Spit Bucket standing there asking what the T/E mark meant.  “Total Evasion,” perhaps but eventually he was clued-in to follow the “Easy” trail and we continued on down the bike path until we reached a check leading to more pavement or shiggy.  For some reason, we thought to choose more pavement but we were sorely mistaken. 
So, into the shiggy we went.  We followed flour on trees until we reached a metal wire fence, then were led into a poison-ivy strewn ditch of calamity from which “Just keep moving!” could be heard from Dirty who was trying to herd Asshopper.  At last we reached a clearing at Carr Road where trail went left, across a church parking lot, past some confused-looking kid playing basketball against himself and back into more shiggy.  Here is where Skidmarks’ whistle could be heard, though we had no idea where he was until later when he explained that he and Spit Bucket had gone through a False, followed trail going the wrong way on a “No-No” and somehow ended up far ahead of us. Eventually we crossed some rocks through a drainage ditch and ended up on the road behind Wet Lay, Lost Penis, and Port-a-ho who were bringing up the ass-end of the Turkey trail. 
Parched and drenched in sweat, we were happy to find that the road led to the Beer Near at F5’s step-brother’s house.  We spread out in the driveway and patio like we owned the place, chugged our beers, and regaled each other with such subjects as how to creatively follow trail and how to best treat poison ivy.  Here we were joined by the always-late-coming Kum On Inn and long-interuptus STD.  For some reason, some wankers decided to sample one of the home-owner’s hot peppers and spent the rest of trail trying to get rid of the taste, including tasting more beer and tasting other people who had not partaken of the pepper.  I remain confused by this event, but then anything can happen on a hash.   
Parting is such sweet sorrow, but it was time to get the fuck out, so we left the beer and followed trail through the neighborhood some more.  Turns out, some of the walkers had left a bit early and thoughtfully marked all the checks (correctly, thankfully) with stick arrows.  Still having no clue where we were, trail led us back into more shiggy until we reached a deep, dark drainage tunnel.  Now when I say dark, I mean pitch-black ... as in, you can’t see your hand in front of your face. So down into the tunnel we ventured, touching the walls and whatever happened to be within reach to guide us through until indeed a light appeared, which turned out to be Just Robert’s cell phone, but it did help illuminate the way for a bit.  At last, once we finally reached the light of day, we had only to traverse some rather large rocks amongst more shiggy until we magically found ourselves back in the parking lot from which we had cum. 
And so, we circled in the parking lot as the light of day began to fade, and of course ridiculed the hares for not having enough poison ivy or deep, dark caverns on trail.  Many interuptuses drank for pretending not to know us, including STD who got her own down-down (with stunt-liver Magic Carpet Ride) for ignoring the first call into circle.  The two virgins, Just Steve and Just Robert were made to drink and to look on us lovingly from this day forward as their Mother hash.  Just Ben drank for technology on trail after he was accused of finding Poke’mon in the park and he was joined by all of the other “Justs” just because.  Devil Woman drank for hash-crashing and Perfect Woman joined her for also being a woman.  Several people used Port-a-ho’s nerd name on trail (not just Lost Boy this time) and were made to drink.  Yeast Infection got a birthday drink for turning 29 again and Spit Bucket drank for not managing to dispose of all the beers in the sleeve of duct tape.  Our visitor, Cuddle Puncher sang us a funny song from his far-away land and after many announcements and no help from the absent Woody, the hash finally got a piece.    Following circle, F5 somehow decided to give us access to the Carriage House where we all dined like VIP’s on meatball sandwiches, salad, pasta salad and cookies.  We of course enjoyed more beer and even got to drink a toast of champagne to F5 who is a virgin hare no longer (we hope it doesn’t take 15 more years for him to hare his next trail).  All in all it was another shitty trail.  Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1147 this Wednesday.