I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1023 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1023 - The April Fools Hash |
| When: | April 5, 2014 |
| Where: | Fairfield Park, Newark, DE |
| Hares: | Kum On Inn Mary Fucking Poppins | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1023, The April Fools Hash When: Saturday April 5th, 2014 AD, 3pm HST Where: Fairfield Park, off of Stamford Drive, Newark, DE 19711, behind the shopping center. Google it, GPS it, or Hornblower it. Hares: Mary Fucking Poppins and maybe Kum On Inn, and or maybe Narcigism. Hash Cash: Still Five Bucks Beast Friendly? Trail? ... sure. Apres? ... sure, just keep them under control please. Trail Length: Trail ought to be real, real short… April Fools!!!! No, trail ought to be one that runners will enjoy with a Turkey option that walkers can handle. Just try to show up on time and hear the chalk talk, or you may be an April Fool. Recommend: A dry bag never hurt anybody. And you don’t want to miss out on MFP’s famous deviled eggs. Questions, comments, lost? D'erections: From I-95, take the Rt. 273 west exit towards Newark, go ~ 3.5 to Main Street, Newark, go another mile and take a right at the Deer Park onto Rt. 896 North. Follow Rt. 896 for 1 mile, take a left at the light with Rite Aid, to your left, onto Country Club Drive. Just past the apartments, take a right onto Stamford Drive. Take the 3rd left into the parking lot for Fairfield Park. Park and hash. | Hashers |
| Asshopper Beardless Clam Bunion Butt Bunion's Bitch Circle Jerk Cousin It Cums Early Dancing Fool Dead End Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Famous Jack Fast Eddie FukStik Groper Kum On Inn Lost Penis Mary Fucking Poppins Mount Me Pickle Dick Skidmarks Slutmaster Spunk Monkey The International House of Virgins The Wetter the Better Tinsel Tits Wet Lay Whoosh Wickwacker Wingnuts | Hash Trash |
| Hockessin Hash # 1023 (Again from the Perspective of the hare) So, the slobbering pack met up in the parking lot of Fairfield Park in Newark, De on the fine early spring day of April the 5th, 2014 AD, for the first ever April Fool’s hash. Unlike the previous week, the cunts came out in full force this time, in about equal number with us dicks. For the weather was more cunt friendly. Though many of them complained about the slight breeze. Hashers I remember being present at some point: Skidmarks, Lost Penis, The International House of Virgins, Spunk Monkey, Dirty Wet Pussy, Dead End, Bunions Bitch, Just Pam, Just Elena, Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Cums Early, Ass Hopper, Wetter the Better, Groper, Beardless Clam, Pickle Dick, Tinsel Tits, Slutmaster, Dancing Fool, Do Me on the Beach, Circle Jerk with Fast Eddie, Cousin It with Famous Jack, Fuk Stik, Wickwacker, Wingnuts, Whoosh, Mount Me, and many, many others. Our hares of the day were Yours Truly, Mary Fucking Poppins , for the second week in a row, and Kum on Inn, who rolled out of bed at the crack of noon, and laid trail in her pajamas. Now, when one of your hares is a half-marathoner, and the other is a tri-athlete, it’s a good guess that trail will be a bit longer than the standard 2.26 miles, at least a little bit…. About 25 past three, Kum on Inn prepared the marks for the chalk talk to explain to our virgin. And MFP explained the basic principles of the hash to our old boots, speaking really loud and really slow so that they might get it this time. The arrow laid at the chalk talk, confused a few of our April Fools, for it was supposed to convey “Go out of the parking lot, then take a left.” But a few of our fools took a left immediately and rummaged around some dudes yard. This time the Turkeys were instructed to follow the trail backwards to the beer stop, for the second half of trail was less than half of the first half, if you get my meaning. Anyway the Eagles and the Turkeys were off, upon this trail which I laid, but did not bear witness to. On! On! Trail went down Stamford road, with a check and a few falsies. It went across New London and into the Fairfield Crest neighborhood, where we had more checks and some long ass falsies., with Kum on Inn gleefully sweeping for those in the back. On! On! Trail went into the woods behind the Christiana towers. A back check 7 was found near the ROTC obstacle course. True trail banged a left onto the unbeaten path. And over the hill and through the woods to grandmother’s house we went. Trail eventually found its way to creek road and we banged another left, eventually crossing over that nice new bridge they recently put in and…….into the swamp. There’s not really supposed to be a swamp there but this year’s recent precipitation has created one. Trail went up a hill where we layest a check, and to the left were many many marks, going up a hill where there was a beer near symbol and just over that………April Fool’s- Check Back Check….It wasn’t the real beer stop Fools! Ha! I think we got a least 5 of you with that one. True trail went to the right of the check, with Circle Jerk and Fast Eddie being the only FRB’s who picked that way first.- And just so you know, my dear readers, it is very rare that Circle Jerk is going the right way…..and so nobody followed him. After a great deal of cursing the rest of the pack eventually got back on true trail. On! On! Trail went on the path which appeared and disappeared in several places. Along the East side of the White Clay creek we went. Through more swamp, through more shiggy, through more mud, through several fields of skunk cabbage, over a rock wall, and through many other wonderful hazards. All the while it was the first day of trout season, and we did our best to scare the fish. On! On! Eventually trail went up a hill, and through that thing called a park by the city of Newark, and out onto Papermill Road. On! On! We went down the hill of PaperMill road to the real beer stop, the front porch of my buddy, Just Nate’s pad, which was such a wreck that it wasn’t even safe for hashers to use the bathroom there.- Sorry Wick. And our FRB’s Circle Jerk and Fast Eddie arrived at the same time as the Turkeys. And we were joined by the Blue Hen GM Emeritus, Mr. Fuck Stik, who was around scouting trail for the Blue Hen hash that was to be the next day, but stopped by so he could drink all the Samuel Adams we had, and hit on the cunts we had with us. Eventually the rest of the muddy, smelly, and very disgruntled pack made it to the real beer stop and we enjoyed our brews for a while. Including some good stuff donated by Just Nate, so not everybody had to drink Boxer Light this time. After a few more minutes, the pack was off. On! On! Trail went down towards the end of Paper Mill road, and banged a right onto the Pomeroy Trail. We went into U of D campus past the towers, and then out onto New London Road, and back to Fairfield Park. The sore, muddy, and disgruntled pack eventually straggled back in, where we were joined by auto-hashers Mount Me and Cousin It with his famous dog, Famous Jack. We set up the down-down table up the hill from the parking lot, giving Famous Jack an opportunity to pee on the side of it. And with my poor choosing of Spunk Monkey as the beer wench, we gave everybody full cups this time. We circled up, and all within ear shot of two families with their kids playing at the park, a little nerve racking that was, but we eventually scared them off. Penalties and awards were dished out. Circle Jerk got first in, and Dancing Fool got last. DWP, once again had the most blood on trail. When we brought in our virgin Just Elena, our visitor, Whoosh, saw fit to interrupt circle, to show us the “right way” to pop somebody’s cherry at a hash. Just Elena took her first down-down like a champ, and she was quite a looker at that. Your hares both had to drink again for hiding race shirts underneath our sweatshirts. And IHOV got to drink for giving me a stupid accusation. Our visitor Whoosh claimed to be a nomad who lately is calling the Charm City Hash in Baltimore her home. And she treated us to yet another song that we small town folks have never heard. After circle was closed, we headed back to the home of Yours Truly, MFP and his roommate Narcigism who was out of town that weekend. We feasted upon several varieties of Nick and Joe’s pizza, Caesar salad, potato chips and the left over cake from Nucking Futz’s birthday trail. And let’s not forget MFP’s famous deviled eggs. Wetter the Better joined us at the Apre’s and those hanging in the living room tried to watch golf for a while. And we had a bit of a pull up contest going on, with yours truly coming in first, and Beardless Clam a close second. All and all it was another shitty trail…………….. And, the next day, a few of us made the mistake of showing up to Fuk Stik’s Blue Hen AGM, where we were treated to more way more shiggy, mud, and water crossings. But the good part of that was……. We got to see Whoosh dressed up in a slutty police girl outfit. I bet some of you feel pain for missing that. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1024 this Saturday. On! On! MFP | |