I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1209 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1209 - the Sweaty Falls Balls Hash |
| When: | Sept. 30, 2017 |
| Where: | Delcastle Recreation Center, Wilmington, DE |
| Hares: | Mary Fucking Poppins | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1209, the Sweaty Falls Balls Hash When: Saturday, September 30, 2017, at 3pm, HDT Where: 970 Mckennans Church Rd. 970 Mckennans Church Rd!!!! Who Hare: Mary Fucking Poppins, and whoever else wants to bring food or help pay for pizza. What to Expect: A not very long, not very elaborate trail that is mostly asphalt. As your hare accepted this assignment with short notice and he has had his fill of thorns, chiggers, foul-smelling water crossings, barb wire, and angry property owners for a while. What to Keep in Mind: That your hare will also probably be running circle that day, before bitching about things. Hash Cash: $7.00 Friendlies: Trail is dog-friendly. D'erections: From I-95, take Exit 4 to Route 7 northbound. Follow Route 7 north for about four miles as it becomes Limestone Road and then crosses Kirkwood Highway (Route 2). Cross Kirkwood Highway and then after 3/4 mile bear right onto McKennens Church Road. Stay on McKennens Church Road, crossing Milltown Road. Go to the Big Main entrance of the Delcastle Rec Area located at 970 Mckennans Church Rd, Wilmington, DE, 19808, according to G-Maps. Then go down to the lower parking lot on the left farthest from the road. The H4 marks will guide you. If, however, you prefer to get lost and arrive late, select the Delcastle Rec Center, The Delcastle Golf Course, or Delcastle High School on that phone that does the thinking for you and it should get you to the wrong spot. Parking? There appears to be plenty of that here. However your hare has no idea how many other events may be taking place at that park at the same time. He just hopes he picked the right spot from where to start. | Hashers |
| Asshopper Bunion Butt Cousin It Dancing Fool Dead End Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Famous Jack Groper Hare Today Cum Tomorrow Mary Fucking Poppins NecroPheelMeUp Orgy-Porgy-Put-In-Pie Pony Boy PubeHeAteHer The Wetter the Better Wet Lay Wishboneher | Hash Trash |
| Trash for Hockessin Hash #1209 So, the slobbering pack took over the lower parking lot of Delcastle Recreational Park on McKennans Church Road in Pike Creek on a partially cloudy, slightly chillier, mid 60-ish degree afternoon of Saturday, September 30, 2017 AD. Hashers I remember encountering at some point or other included: Groper, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Do Me On the Beach, Dirty Wet Pussy, Asshopper, The Wetter the Better, Cousin It with Famous Jack, Wet Lay, Bunion Butt, Dead End, Pony Boy, Just Chris, Dancing Fool, Hare Today Cum Tomorrow, Wishboneher and . . .? Our hare for today was Mary Fucking Poppins who had graciously picked-up this trail after our Hare Raiser, Wet Lay had put out an emergency APB for someone to step the fuck up. In his unique, beloved, crotchety style, MFP promised that this would be a “no frills” hash because quite frankly he was fucking tired of getting bitten, scratched, scaling fences, trespassing, running from locals threatening to call the cops and other such annoying encounters on trail. And on top of that, we should not expect anyone to go out looking for our sorry asses if we were stupid enough to get lost because he wasn’t fucking sweeping. Rawr! And so, while MFP pondered whether us wanks would bother to follow his seemingly clear directions to our meeting spot, we sipped on our cans of carbonated piss until RA, Wishboneher gathered us up for chalk talk. MFP explained the standard marks as being nothing we haven’t seen before and said he even marked all the Falses in an attempt to further prevent us idiots from going rogue on a trail to nowhere, hopefully (and if you were too stupid to run through a False, it’s your own fault and you should seriously re-examine your life ... or something. Rawr!). So just as Wishboneher was needling MFP as to why he didn’t have any shot stops or anything, Dancing Food pulled-up in his waste-management vehicle and proudly held up a bottle of pre-mixed margaritas. Problem solved! And so, in a glass (or can)-half-empty manner, MFP said we may as well follow the true-trail arrow and maybe he would see us later, or not ... On-On! We headed across the grassy field and quickly picked-up marks on some trees leading us to more marks on the paved loop path. This took us in a circle all the way around the paved path until we reached an entrance to the woods, which was actually not too far from where we had started. Apparently, Dancing Fool was clued-in to our destined path, for there he was waiting with his Jose Cuervo mixture of happiness declaring an impromptu shot-stop. We all gratefully passed the bottle around thanking Dancing Fool once again for saving the day. While we loitered, Just Chris nicely investigated a check for us, so we all knocked-back a few more swigs and watched. Once the correct path was identified, we crossed a little creek, up a hill and out into the neighborhood onto Duncan Rd. On-On! Pube and Pony Boy followed a check correctly past Brandywine Springs School, while Just Chris checked in the wrong direction and Hare Today hashed smarter by simply walking out of the woods where we had just been and avoiding all of that unnecessary running around. We followed a trail next to the school yard and came out into a neighborhood where there were a few more checks to check and running around to do until we came to a Beer Near at a church yard where MFP had blessed us with a cooler of the devil’s brew. Said church was advertising for a ‘family fun night’ that evening and happened to have two blow-up children’s bouncy-house-slide-apparatus things set up on the lawn. Since Jesus can’t go hashing, he was nowhere to be found and neither was anyone else, so several of us tried-out the portable playland while we waited for the other wanks to arrive. Fortunately, the blow-up things appeared to still hold air after we had tested them and no one left any beer cans inside, though this idea was discussed. MFP seemed pleased that he had unexpectedly provided such an entertaining Beer Near, but alas it was time for Dancing Food to gather up all the cans and for us to be on our way before we could desecrate the area any further. On-On! And so it was time to hopefully find our way back, but not until MFP took us on a tour around the neighborhood (and yours-truly located the long False) for just a little longer. Finally, we made our way back to McKennans Church Road (because lord knows, we needed more church today) and to the On In at the edge of the park. Those in the know simply cut across the park to the cars while others, hearing the voice of MFP echoing in our heads that we should not be stupid, simply followed the marks back, but thankfully we all converged upon the cars and no one ended up being completely stupid ... at least not for that reason. And so, our RA Wishboneher got the insults and accolades going while we attempted to form a circle around a nearby picnic table without all the down-down cups flying away in the in wind. MFP was made to drink for his shitty, “no frills” trail ending-up having a surprise beverage stop and some inflatable entertainment. Our visitor, Pony Boy got to drink for being FRB and from Baltimore while Cousin It was honored for DFL. Several people drank for wearing the same shirt while others drank for not trespassing in the bouncy-houses. Pony Boy was made to drink again for having no idea why his hand was bleeding profusely. Dead End drank for auto-hashing while keeping us informed of the college football scores. And last but not least, Just Chris was named Orgy-Porgy-Put-N-Pie for so eloquently asking ‘where are the orgies and the 12-year-old virgins’ after clearly hearing some interesting stories about hashing. Then again, it was Woody who made him cum. And speaking of Woody, even in his absence, the hash still managed to get a piece. Following circle we all gathered up a Famous Johns for some tasty pizza and salad provided by our hare and brownies made by Wet Lay. There we were joined by the Kennett Brewfest attendees, Skidmarks, Lost Penis, Jewels of Duh-Nile and Magic Carpet ride who were at least 3 or 4 sheets to the wind already, and all in all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1210 this Saturday.On-On!NecroPheelMeUp | |