Hockessin Hash House Harriers History

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Hash Details
Hash Number:1133
What:Hockessin Hash #1133
When:April 30, 2016
Where:Swift Memorial Park, Hockessin, DE
Hares:Spunk Monkey
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What:  Hockessin Hash #1133
When:  Saturday, April 30, 2016 at 3:00 pm, HST ... or Wednesday, May 4 at 6:30pm HST-------
So mismanagement is living up to its name and still deliberating on whether to hash on Saturday.  But what is known is that it's the time of year we switch to Wednesday hashing until September.  The hash on Wednesday, May 4, will be our anal Red Dress Run.  Make sure your slinky red dress still fits ...
Hashers
Butthead
Circle Jerk
Devil Woman
Fast Eddie
Groper
Hornblower
I am 17 Cumming on 18
Magic Carpet Ride
NecroPheelMeUp
Port-a-Ho
PubeHeAteHer
Spunk Monkey
Subpeonis
Woody Woodpecker
Hash Trash
Trash for Hockessin Hash #1133
So, the slobbering pack met at Swift Memorial Park in actual Hockessin, DE of all places for the final Saturday hash of the season on a cloudy, mid 50-ish degree afternoon of April 30, 2016 AD.
Hashers who appeared on trail in my short-term, hung-over memory included: Magic Carpet Ride, Groper, Hornblower, Subpoenis, NecroPheelMeUp, PubeHeAteHer, Circle Jerk with Fast Eddie, Devil Woman, Woody, Spunk Monkey, I am 17 Cumming on 18, Butthead, Port-A-Ho and ...?
Our hare for the day was our Hash Ambassador, Spunk Monkey, who in a somewhat-drunken state during the AGM the night before, took it upon himself to volunteer to mark a trail of some sort on this day to continue the streak of uninterruptused hashing. Though we anticipated that perhaps it may just be a stroll around the parking lot (fine with us who were nursing hangovers), apparently Spunk had done some actual scouting online between 1:00-2:00AM, so there was no telling what was in store. It also happened to be extreme Little League day at our starting location, so we were relegated to a corner of the parking lot where passed around some PBR’s to re-awaken our hangovers and hopefully a smidgen of energy. No beer meisters or RA’s managed to drag their asses out on this fine day, so Spunk Monkey improvised, stepped-forth and informed us that he would be live-haring trail and would need approximately 15 minutes or whoever caught him was to become the hare. Since no one was motivated enough to take on that role, we sipped some more piss-in-a-can while Spunk explained his chalk and flour marks, including some checks (that looked more like tit-checks, which for Spunk was not surprising), some apparent Falses, a series of 3 lines which no one understood what this meant, a Jolly-J check (which would never come to fruition) and a shot check where we were to drink the entire shot prior to leaving the area (or potentially pass out in that very spot and fuck the rest of trail). After everything registered clear as mud, Spunk was off and the timer was set. Now 15 minutes is a really long time after a night of drinking and poor quality sleep, so after about 10.5-ish minutes, Devil Woman suggested that we begin to “stroll” through the parking lot. Strolling pace was about all anyone could manage at that point anyway, so we all put one foot in front of the other zombie-style and were off.
On-On!
At this point, we all became nervous that trail appeared to be going longer than just around the parking lot. We continued our stroll past the Little League madness and up to some railroad tracks and since we were too lazy to go very far before finding marks, we walked around here in circles for a while until Pube and Circle Jerk failed to come back from one particular direction, so we figured we should probably venture out that way. Our first sobriety test came in the form of a metal I-beam that we were to traverse over some water, but somehow we all managed to stay dry…for now. After making our way across a field and a road following the sweet sound of Hornblower’s bugle, we came upon the shiggy ... that would embrace us for quite some time. Spunk had indeed shown some stamina and creativity here, for trail wound us through deer trails, briers, mud and back and forth across the creek several times. At one point, you could hear “On-On” being called from both sides of the creek which was a bit confusing, but eventually everyone found themselves in front of a large jug of red liquid.
Shot Stop!
So it turns out that said jug was a gallon container of Hawaiian Punch and grain alcohol. We passed it around once and barely made a dent in it, so decided that it would accompany us for the remainder of trail and maybe, just maybe we would get through most or some more of it along the way. As we ventured back into the shiggy, we came across a deeper water crossing that was non-Woody friendly, so as he looked around for a bridge to cross, the rest of us splashed through, pulled ourselves up an embankment that 17 Cumming on 18 nearly slid back down and eventually made our way out of the rough and into a neighborhood.
On-On!
Here we came upon a check that looked like a tit and Circle Jerk took off in the wrong direction, never to be seen again ... at least not until much later. The rest of us managed to meander past a bunch of McMansions, partially across someone’s lawn and down to a busy road with a “BFC,” which we interpreted as Be Fucking Careful ... or get your ass run over. Next came a check that caused much confusion, until Port-A-Ho (who had consulted her map app on her phone and decided to head back in the direction of the cars) found the next mark on the opposite side of the street. We made our way into another neighborhood through a song check and a “dance” check that most of the pack completed with various degrees of enthusiasm. At last we hit that left turn at Albuquerque toward the cars, but then came upon a BN!
Beer Near!
After circling the area for a while trying to figure out which bar it could be in, we eventually found an arrow and B leading to Famous Tom’s, of course! Here we enjoyed a much-needed round of drafts and were eventually re-united with Woody and Circle Jerk and it felt so good. Turns out, Circle had led Woody astray thinking that the Beer Near was at the finer establishment of Two Stones, but since Circle continually operates like a homing pigeon, he eventually found his way back to the pack. After a while, Spunk reminded us that, “You know this is just a Bear Near, not the après!” so he called “On In!” and we at long last, after a much longer than anticipated trail, dragged our asses back to the cars.
Circle was commenced at Spunk Monkey’s house by our stand-in RA for the day, Hornblower. Many accusations were dished-out and songs were sung. Groper, our all in blue Smurfette of the day drank for being first in while DFL went to Butthead. Woody managed to leave some blood on trail while 17 Cumming on 18 drank for her graceful hash crash. Interuptuses Hornblower and Subpoenis drank along with Port-A-Ho for gracing us with their presence once a year and Hornblower drank again for his racist behavior of actually running a half-marathon and 5k that morning. Woody and Circle Jerk drank for giving themselves an extra Beer Near. Our hare, Spunk was made to drink for making us traverse nearly 3 miles when most of us were anticipating 3 minutes and he was also given a side-side for his birthday by all of the harriettes, who nearly dropped him on his head. And finally, after prematurely de-circle-ating once, Woody was allowed to announce “May the Hash Go In Peace!” and we all had a piece ... of Spunky’s birthday cake brought by Port-A-Ho.
Prior to said birthday cake, we feasted on an incredible meal prepared by Spunk consisting of seaweed/cucumber salad, stir fried shrimp and rice and some out-of-this-world sausagy-dish that had some other name but I was too busy noshing to pay attention. We all wore out our welcome in Spunk’s back yard around the bonfire while we knocked back the leftover AGM beers and a wonderful time was had by all, though all in all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned next for Hockessin Hash #1134, the Red Dress Hash on Wednesday, May 4.
On-On!
NecroPheelMeUp