Hockessin Hash House Harriers History

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Hash Details
Hash Number:1124
What:Hockessin Hash #1124
When:Feb. 27, 2016
Where:2703 Philadelphia Pike, Claymont, DE
Hares:Kum On Inn
Trail Order Bride
What:  Hockessin Hash #1124
When:  Saturday, February 27, 2016 at 3:00 pm, HST
Where:  Town And Country Shopping Center, 2703 Philadelphia Pike, Claymont DE 19703 
Who Hare:  Kum-on-inn and Trail Order Bride Dog Friendly:  Probably on trail. Leashes might be your friend. Apres no
Hash Cash:  $5 
D'erections:   From points south: Take I-95 to Harvey Road exit, turn right on Harvey Road, turn left into the parking lot.  From points north: Take I-95 to I-495 to exit 5 US-13/Phila Pike/Claymont (Right). Turn Right into the shopping center with the Arby's.  If you miss it, turn right on Harvey road and turn right into the parking lot.
Bunion Butt
Butt Lite
Circle Jerk
Cousin It
Devil Woman
Digital Dick
Does It All
Famous Jack
Fast Eddie
Happy Ending
Kum On Inn
Lost Penis
Pickle Dick
Rug Burn
The International House of Virgins
The Wetter the Better
Tinsel Tits
Tits of Steel
Toxic Shock
Trail Order Bride
Wet Lay
With Horns On His Tits
Hash Trash
Hash Trash for Hockessin Hash 1124
So, the slobbering pack met at the Town and Country Shopping Center off of Philadelphia Pike in Claymont, DE on a bright, sunny-mid 40-ish degree afternoon of February 27, 2016 AD.  
Hashers I remember being present included: Wet Lay, Bunion Butt, Circle Jerk with Fast Eddie, Skidmarks, Lost Penis, NecroPheelMeUp, PubeHeAteHer, Asshopper, Wetter the Better, Cribsnatcher, Butt Lite, Digital Dick, Pickle Dick, Tinsel Tits, Cousin It with Famous Jack, Groper, RaidR, International House of Virgins, Tits of Steel, Toxic Shock, Happy Ending, Rugburn, Does It All, Kum-On-Inn, Trail Order Bride, With Horns On His Tits, Devil Woman and . . .?
Our hares for the day were the old married couple of Trail Order Bride and birthday girl, Kum-On-Inn who had recently recovered from the plague.  The flour-covered Trail Order Bride was the only hare present in the beginning, however he assured us that Kum-On-Inn was indeed out there somewhere and not necessarily late to her own trail.  The pack basked in the sun for a while drinking their shitty swill as some pondered what might be going on in that seedy-looking massage parlor in the corner of the shopping center.  That would be left to the imagination, for we were at last called to order by our RA, Skidmarks.  There were many flour marks on the ground drawn by our hare that piqued some of the pack’s curiosity, while others simply ignored the instructions and still others just stared blankly into space.  Included in the fray were two Shot Stops (no doubt with some orange and green concoctions), a Song Check, a Turkey/Eagle split, a Jolly-J and some swirly hurricane-warning mark that we were told meant that the entire block would be considered a check.  Much of the pack exchanged dumbfounded glances at this point, while others pretended not to hear and Butt Lite emerged saying, “Wait, I missed all that!”  Too late, we were off following the true arrow in the opposite direction of the seedy-looking massage parlor.            
Trail began in the neighborhood south of Harvey Road where there were many checks for the FRB’s to fuck up, including the hurricane warning which sent the pack scrambling in several different directions for a while precisely according to the hares’ evil plan.  Now it wouldn’t be a Kum-On-Inn/Trail Order Bride trail without rock hopping through the creek, so next we found ourselves doing just that until we traversed a fallen tree like a balance beam into some dude’s backyard who thought we were all looking for a lost dog or something.  After another stint in the neighborhood, we jumped back into the dead brush where Pube was darting back-and-forth desperately trying to locate the Jolly-J ribbon.  At last, the shooters were rescued from their shallow grave of leaves and Pube was on his way back to share a drink with DFL, Wet Lay while the rest of us came upon the Turkey/Eagle split. 
While I cannot vouch for the Turkey trail, the Eagles spent much time in, out, beside and around the creek trying to keep our feet dry and our asses out of the mud while visiting several back yards and attempting to keep the flour-marked rocks in our sights.  At long last, we were out of the drainage ditch and into the adjacent hills-from-hell neighborhood which wound us around to the song check with the title “Into the Woods” written in flour.  Pube had caught back up at this point after finding a triple-Fucked mark that he wasn’t supposed to find and managed to mutter some of the lyrics, which curiously resembled the title of the song. So after that, back into the woods we went to navigate through a literal fence of briars.  Little did we know that Tinsel Tits was a regular Brer Rabbit and navigated this minor nuisance with her usual positivity while the rest of us cursed the hares, the universe and whoever else might be within ear shot.
After emerging out of satan’s asshole and running through some family’s basketball game, we came upon the two masochistic hares and the rest of the pack happily enjoying orange and green shots and wondering where the hell we had been.  IHOV and Tits were the last to arrive and we all shared our stories of woe and bloodshed over a few too many cups of that glow-in-the-dark liquid insanity.  Finally, those who had lingered a bit too long were getting restless and started wandering down the next part of trail, so with our brains properly numbed, the rest of us dragged our asses back in line with the herd.
Perhaps we had a bit too much of that orange and green stuff, for we wandered around the hares’ former apartment complex for a while looking for trail and actually trusted each other to check out the checks.  What were we thinking?  Those Turkeys who had chuckled at the Eagles for their blood on trail were soon laughing no longer as trail took us through a park and into another thicket of briars.  “Ow…fuck!” could be heard hither and yon as we made our way through the spikey wretchedness and out the other side of the park past a dude driving a remote-controlled car and some kids actually playing outside in the mud.  At last we followed an arrow back into a neighborhood and at a check down a hill were the hares with yet another Shot Stop.  More orange and green drank, please!  After refueling the buzz that had not exactly worn-off, we were off again to put an end to the madness.
Trail went through some more park land until we crossed over to a neighborhood where we assumed we were home free.  Somehow, a faction of the pack ran out of marks and started making their own trail, having to cut through a thistle patch at the end.  The rest of the wankers managed to stay on target to the “On In” and if we hadn’t been so cut up by those briars, we might have considered that seedy-looking massage place a viable option.  Instead we settled for beers and waited for circle to begin.
Accusations aplenty were thrown around and songs were sung.  Asshopper apparently had convinced Skids to allow him to take RA responsibilities for the day, however as he has been known to lose focus at times, needed a bit of prompting to keep things rolling.  Pickle Dick somehow managed to be first in, though it was not established whether he had tackled, threatened or deposed anyone along the way.  Pube and Wet Lay drank for sharing the Jolly-J.  Bunion Butt volunteered for DFL honors and decided he wanted to keep drinking for failing to remove his headgear.  Several interuptuses drank, including the hares for being in quarantine these last few weeks.  Many drank for blood on trail for trying to take part of the woods with them, while Tinsel Tits drank for demonstrating her jungle survival skills.  Kum-On-Inn got a birthday “fuck you,” the hares, of course drank for their shitty, not-enough-briars trail and at last the hash got a piece.   
Following circle, we all gathered at Famous Joe’s and waited patiently for the hares to provide us with a meal of delicious chili, cornbread and salad to soak up all of the orange and green drank we had consumed and of course, more beer.  All in all, it was another shitty trail.  Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1125 this Saturday.
On! On!