Hitting save is very important... database sync isn't working and I am lazy
|What:||Hockessin Hash #1123|
|When:||Feb. 20, 2016|
|Where:||Carousel Park, Pike Creek, DE|
|What: Hockessin Hash #1123 |
When: Saturday, February 20, 2016 at 3:00 pm, HST
Where: Carousel Park, Pike Creek, DE, main parking lot on Limestone Rd
Who Hare: Cribsnatcher
Dog Friendly: Does your doggie like dog parks?
Hash Cash: $5
D'erections: From I-95 take the Rt. 4/Rt. 7 exit north. Follow past Delaware Park, cross Kirkwood Hwy and Milltown Rd. About 1/2 on left make a U turn and immediately turn into parking lot. Lost - either get fucked
Cock a Doodle Don't
Dirty Wet Pussy
Magic Carpet Ride
Seen Your Panties
The Wetter the Better
|Hash Trash for Hockessin Hash 1123|
So, the slobbering pack met at Carousel Park off Limestone Road in Pike Creek, DE on a balmy, sunny-mid 50-ish degree afternoon of February 20, 2016 AD. This was perhaps the biggest temperature differential within the space of one week that ever was, causing many to come out of hibernation, at least for one fine day. Hashers I remember being present included: Wet Lay, Bunion Butt, Circle Jerk with Fast Eddie, Skidmarks, Lost Penis, NecroPheelMeUp, PubeHeAteHer, Magic Carpet Ride, Woody, Asshopper, Wetter the Better, Cribsnatcher, Bunion’s Bitch, Butt Lite, Digital Dick, Seen Your Panties, Cockadoodledon’t, Spunk Monkey, Dirty Wet Pussy, Pickle Dick, Cousin It with Famous Jack, STD and ...?
Our hare for the day was our founding father and benefactor, Cribsnatcher who graciously stepped up to the plate yet again after an emergency message went out for “hare needed NOW!” Cribsnatcher was assisted in haring duties by Butt Lite and Digital Dick who we were assured were somewhere out on trail as we waited for the shit show to begin. Cribsnatcher of all people told us that we were in the wrong place at the beginning, however we overruled him by pointing out that we were merely gathering close to where the beer was. Some marks were thrown down for chalk talk, which included some check-backs, some fuck-you’s and a special mark for our canine friends, Fast Eddie and Famous Jack to run around in the dog park to their hearts’ content, or any hasher for that matter who also felt like chasing squirrels. Much rejoicing ensued after the pack learned that there would be two beer stops, though this being a Crib trail, we all crossed our fingers and toes that both beer stops would actually be found. Eventually, our RA Skidmarks made a call to release the hounds, so ... On-On!
Cribsnatcher had given us our first instruction to run in the direction of the sun, however we soon realized that the sun had been in a different spot when he had marked trail, so after zig-zagging for a bit, we at last bounded down the hill and discovered some flour down a lovely grass trail. Here came the first fuck-you of the day when Spunk Monkey discovered a check-back 8 in the little playground that PubeHeAteHer and Bunion’s Bitch had blown by on their way to downtown Wilmington. Back we counted in the opposite direction until we chose poorly and were fucked again at a check-back 3. There was only one possible direction to head (who said “head?”), straight up a hill, so ...
After running up and down for a bit, we came across some more checks and the hasher/doggie split. Not sure how long the mutts/wankers chased their tails in the field, but eventually we all converged on a parking lot for the first beer near. Happily, Butt Lite and Digital Dick were there to assist Cribsnatcher in ensuring that the beer would actually be there when we arrived. Unlike last week, the slobs could feel their fingers and toes at this point and many were actually sweating, so we contentedly lingered over our beers for a while. Eventually, Skidmarks started to venture out on trail again before Cribsnatcher decided to throw down a check in the parking lot. We hoped that trail would be going in the direction of Skidmarks, but ...
Drat ... fucked again! Unfortunately, now we were all in a field that had been marked by Cribsnatcher and were having flash-backs to bygone trails involving much milling about, wandering to and fro and muttering obscenities. Why should this trail be any different? At a not-so-apparent check, the pack split into 3 factions: Skids, Lost, Dirty and Seen Your were all following marks up the middle. Spunk, Asshopper, Bunion Butt and Wetter were all following marks up the hill to the right. And finally, Pube, Bunion’s Bitch, Pickle and the rest of the wankers were following each other where there may or may not have been marks to the left. Eventually, we all realized that all roads lead to beer, and behold ... the next been near magically appeared!
We enjoyed our beer picnic in the sun for quite some time, forgetting that we were still on trail and probably should get back at some point. Those who had followed the trail to the left had done a bit of a “No-No,” and had already discovered the Turkey/Eagle split that was actually yet to come. And so, we followed our instincts and chose our spirit animals to lead us down our destined path. Though I cannot speak for the turkey trail, the eagle trail seemed to eventually run out of marks. Perhaps, the hare ran out of flour, time or his senses at this point ... or simply said, “Fuck it!” but we stuck together around the equestrian fences and were reunited with the rest of the bumbling pack just in time to slog up the hill to the parking lot. On-In? Apparently.
Circle commenced in the parking lot, where unlike last week, the wankers were actually enjoying hanging around in the great outdoors for a while. Butt Lite delayed us a little longer after she decided that her hands somehow needed gloves in this weather. Accusations aplenty were thrown around and songs were sung. The hares drank for their shitty trail which had been deemed “marked too well.” Pube and Dirty drank for first eagle and turkey respectively and Wet Lay drank for DFL honors. Several people drank for interuptuses, including STD who may or may not have been in California for an indefinite period of time. Skids drank for needing medical attention from Cousin It on trail (an exceedingly scary thought), so all doctors present drank with the addition of Asshopper and the honorary “doctor” Cousin. Bunion’s Bitch drank for some assorted race wear and Cockadoodledon’t drank for auto-hashing or basically showing up because there was nothing better to do. Luckily no one crashed or got bloody this week, so we all decided enough was enough and the hash got a piece.
Following circle, Crib provided typical Crib directions to the après: “Go to where the Valley Inn used to be, which got named some other things over the years ...” Thankfully, someone announced our destination’s current name: Famous John’s. Once we all arrived at where the Valley Inn used to be, Crib provided us with some homemade chili with Red Lobster biscuit mix on top (yum!), macaroni and cheese, bread and some colorful blackberry/raspberry salad. It was a lovely time and all in all, another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1124 this Saturday.