Hitting save is very important... database sync isn't working and I am lazy
|What:||Hockessin Hash #1363 - Covid-19-23 -- Sphincter Grease Promises Not to Kill You This Time Trail|
|When:||Aug. 22, 2020|
|Where:||510 Pennsylvania Ave, Claymont, DE|
|What: Hockessin Hash # 1363 -- Covid-19-23 -- "Sphincter Grease Promises Not to Kill You This Time" Trail|
When: Saturday, August 22, 2020, at 3:00pm HST. The start will be staggered, groups of 6, with 10 minutes between groups, keep masks handy while running, keep social distances, etc.
Where: La Casa De Magic Grease, 510 Pennsylvania Ave, Claymont, DE
Who Hare: Sphincter Grease and Magically Delicious
What Else: Trail is simple, one beer stop, one shot stop, a turkey/eagle split (you get a pay as you go stop on the eagle), and at the On In you get an Old Fashion and a Wisconsin beer boiled brat, likely also some salty snacks. On In/apres will be outside (weather permitting) or else we will spread everyone out inside.
What Else Too: Let the hare know if you are cumming (FB comments) so we don't under/over what we need.
Hash Cash: Free! But, a contribution of $10 is suggested (beirmiesters are still not involved, so help a dude out).
H4 Circle: Bring a mask, a leash for your dog, and a chair for outside Social Distanced circle. Also bring a virgin.
Friendlies: All of trail is dog friendly and all stops are dog friendly.
D'erections: If you don't use your phone or GPS for this one, the direction you're cuming is important. From Wilmington and south, take I-95 and get off at the Harvey Rd exit and head east/right on Harvey Rd. Take the first left onto Glenrock Rd, and then 2nd right onto Pennsylvania Ave. Go a block or so and look for parking. From north of the 95/495 split, take I-495 and then the exit for Rt. 13 south. Go about 1 mile, and take a right just past the Burger King onto Pennsylvania Ave. Go a few blocks, grab your mask, park, and hash
Cause for Blindness
Dirty Wet Pussy
Everything Butt Sex
Mary Fucking Poppins
Sgt. Snitch Snatch
Two Beds One Nightmare
|Trash for Hockessin Hash #1363 AKA Phase 2 hash #1|
So the slobbering pack gathered up around about the 500 block of Pennsylvania avenue in Claymonster Delaware for our first official Phase 2 style hash, around 3 Pee-Em, on the fine late summer afternoon of Saturday, August 22nd, of this most unusual year of 2020 AD.
Hashers brave enough to present included an eclectic mix of members of the H4, Philly, BFM, Taco Tuesday and Jersey Devil hash groups such as Circle Jerk w. Fast Eddie, Dirty Wet Pussy, Groper, Beulah Ballbreaker, Queen Pissayana, Just Jennifer, Mary Fucking Poppins, Jubol, Cause For Blindness, Where’s My Deed?, Highway Whore, Two beds-One Nightmare, Sgt. Snitch Snatch, Everything Butt Sex. And not many, many others. For exaggerating our numbers, like I used to, may not be helpful during this era. Though a few of us were wise enough to park a few blocks away and leave our cell phones in the car.
Our hares and hosts for the day were the often transplanted Magically Delicious and her partner in crime Sphincter Grease, who told me he volunteered to host the first somewhat normal event we’ve had in many moons. This because he wanted to be the first. He told me he also hoped that this would be an opportunity to add to his resume the number of hash clubs he has been barred from. And I told him, since our leadership appears to be asleep at the wheel, once again, I doubted even that would ever get around to happening. He also promised again not to try to kill us all like he did when he hared about this time last year. Ha! But this time, I guess we’ll have to wait a week or two to be sure about that.
And so we hung out in the back yard and out front of La Casa De Grease for 20 minutes or so drinking our own beverages or those provided by the hares. Which included a cooler full of those strawberry flavored Natty Light cans that must have been leftover from 2019, a year most of us, no doubt, would rather be living in right now. Shortly before Mr. Grease commenced with the chalk talk, Fast Eddie broke social distancing protocol by lifting his leg to piss on the leg of Groper who was apparently dressed up like a fire hydrant that day.
And so our hare began the chalk talk. Anybody remember those? He requested that we split up in a least 2 different groups. He told us to expect a mark that looked sort of like a Q for a hobo shot stop, at least if we got to the shots before some hobo did. And to expect a beer stop. And a second beer stop if we went on the eagle trail, which was only about 200 yards longer than the Turkey. He told us none of the false trails would be marked but the three mark rule was in effect.
And so it was decided for some reason that walkers go first and followed 10 minutes later by the runners, or at least the faster walkers.
Soon enough we were all eventually off.
True trail arrow pointed us going left on PA avenue until we came to a check at Glenrock Rd. True trail eventually took us to Harvey Rd where we found another check. But from there, this runner could see the slowpokes lumbering across the bridge that goes over I-95 so it wasn’t too hard to figure out what direction to go in.
Trail eventually took us to the north side of Arden town. But with no sign whatsoever of the blind deaf and dumb Cousin It, who is known to reside in this parts. Eventually we went off the asphalt and down a wooded path and then into the actual woods where we found the Hobo shot stop marks along Naamans Creek, which a certain famous road in Garnett Valley PA is named after. The FRB’s spent many minutes trying to locate said shots.
Two beds One Nightmare was I think the one who found the sour pucker apple snaps for us hidden under a log. And so some of us enjoyed this and single servings of strawberry and peach Andre champagne provided by the Ballbreaker. And some enjoyed bathing in the Naamans Creek, good lord I hope that River was cleaner than it was the last time I was in it. Anyway ...
Trail took us through the woods some more, then across and back across Naamans Creek where there were some mighty big rocks to walkover. We also went through the bridge tunnel under the railroad tracks that we’ve gone under a few times. Trail eventually led us to a park in the Radnor Green neighborhood where we found Mr. Grease with the auto hashing Cause For Blindness with a cooler for the Beer Near. And so some of us enjoyed another one of those Strawberry Natty Lights, or a Miller Light, or a Gatorade or nothing in the shade, for a little while, before we headed off again.
Trail took us through the hood for a little while. We came across a few checks that confused a few of us, but the sweeping Magically Delicious pointed us in the right way. We went over a pedestrian bridge going over I-95 and a harriet or two fulfilled the time honored tradition of flashing passing motorists. Trail eventually led us to the Darely Green neighborhood. And down a few blocks on Green Street we went.
Green Street took us past the hood known as “Historic Overlook Colony”, and then some young man from New Jersey smacked the front right side of his car into a fire hydrant. He pulled over a block later to ask us to survey the damage, a very bent right wheel, and whether it would be safe enough to drive that wreck all the way home. Circle Jerk offered some advice.
Trail went into the Radnor Green Neighborhood, past New York Avenue and onto Pennsylvania where we came to the Turkey-Eagle Split, where the hare told us we would only be missing out on life taking the Turkey.
Eagle trail took us back out the Philadelphia Pike, then around the Arby’s, and past where the litter cast from cars tends to gather, and the starting point of a very memorable trail hared by Dancing Fool a few years ago. And so we found the BN in front of the Hangman Craft brew Pub. I read an interesting article in paper a few months about the owner of that place. And how after years of developing his business plan he was finally able to realize his dream and his opening day was Friday, March 13th, 2020. Oh Fuck! Well he seems to be getting by for the moment.
And so since the hare had made arrangements with the owner ahead of time, and gave him a rather accurate estimate of our numbers and arrival time so that said owner could provide appropriately spaced seating, it was not actually a crime, at least not during Phase 2, for some of us to enjoy a beer and air-conditioning at the same time. Those of us who did gave no shit to those of us who chose not to, well except during circle. The hangman's dark brew special, I thought was particularly tasty and economically priced.
In meantime everybody remember to wear your mask even when you are alone in your own car. You wouldn’t to risk infecting somebody who might break into it to take your spare change.
Trail took us back to Harvey Road and eventually turned right back into the Radnor Green hood, where yours truly waltzed right past the start at PA avenue and had to be redirected by a visiting hasher who was much less familiar with this neighborhood than I am.
And one by one by two the hashers made it back, unbelievably without anyone dashing out early.
Magically Delicious made up some old fashions for those interested. And eventually the decision was made to have something resembling a traditional circle, as interest in the virtual one seems to have waned as of late.
With our GM, JM, RA, Hareraizor, Beermeister, and hash cash unsurprisingly not present, yours truly was conscripted for both running the circle and collecting the hash cash donations for the hare.
And so your RA for the day felt it appropriate to skip the used plastic cups filled with warm American Pilsner, and told everyone to keep hold of their own drink before I stepped back to the farthest corner of the yard to avoid spitting on anybody.
Circle was opened up. Penalites and Awards were dished out. Songs were sung. Down-downs-sippy sippy style were done. The hares drank once or twice for haring an unusually normal-shitty trail. Those who skipped the last beer stop drank as joint-first in. Those who chose not to bath in the Naamans creek drank. For once, Cause For Blindness didn’t have to call herself out, and drank for auto-hashing, as she had broke her arm, and didn’t want to break the other, for then she wouldn’t be able to wipe her own ass, and then wipe it on somebody else. Groper drank for playing a fire hydrant for Fast Eddie. Circle Jerk drank for playing a technician for AAA for some poor dumbass who drove into a fire hydrant. In these normal times, we would have made Triple A-hole drink with him just out of principle. The visiting hashers, and the regular hashers and the new hashers and the interruptus all drank at the same time, as this basically included everybody in some way. Our hare asked again for everyone who served in our Military overseas to do a down-down together. Which this time including him and our semi-virgin, Just Jennifer, who hashed somewhere during her service. After accusations were over, announcements were made. And there were a lot more of those than I would have expected.
And then the hash went in peace. And our hares, provided as promised, some tasty brat worst. And Triple A-hole took the last one. If he shows up to virtual circle, one of you virtual hashers please remember to make him drank for that. And a fine time was had. In moderation, I will point out.
Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1364, The Asshopper Birthday hash?,,,I think