I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1204 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1204 - Port-a-Ho's Birthday Extravaganza |
| When: | Aug. 30, 2017 |
| Where: | 36 Smalleys Dam Road, Newark, DE |
| Hares: | Port-a-Ho | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1204, Port-a-Ho's Birthday Extravaganza When: Wednesday, August 30, 2017, at 6:30pm HDT Where: Port- A - Ho's Playground, 36 Snalleys Dam Rd, Newark De 19702 Who Hare: Port-a-Ho What Else: Hashy B-Day. Hugs for Everyone. Serious runners will be seriously disappointed. Hash Cash: $7.00 Friendlies: Just Jasper plays well with other pooches. D’erections: From I-95, take Exit 4/Rt. 273 East towards Dover, turn right on Old Baltimore Pike. At the first left, go left onto Trefoil Drive, go to end of road, right on Smalley's Dam. | Hashers |
| American Halfass Asshopper Bumpy Beaver Bunion Butt Butt Lite Dancing Fool Devil Woman Dick Fingers Digital Dick Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Groper Jewel of Duh-Nile Lost Penis Mary Fucking Poppins NecroPheelMeUp Port-a-Ho PubeHeAteHer Seen Your Panties Sex Toys For Tots Shit Out of Luck Skidmarks Slutmaster Smells Like Hash Spirit Spunk Monkey The Wetter the Better Triple Whore Score Vomit Comet Weird Al Spanks the Bitch Wet Lay Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Trash for Hockessin Hash #1204 – Port-a-Ho’s Birthday Extravaganza! So, the slobbering pack gathered up at the home of the birthday girl on Smalleys Dam Road in Newark, DE on a sunny, pleasant, mid 70-ish degree summer evening of Wednesday, August 30, 2017 AD. Hashers I remember encountering at some point or other included: Slut Master, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Asshopper, The Wetter the Better, Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Vomit Comet, Triple Whore Score, Dancing Fool, Do Me On the Beach, Spunk Monkey, Just Chris, Weird Al Spanks the Bitch, Bumpy Beaver, Woody, Butt Lite, Skidmarks, Lost Penis, Digital Dick, Mary Fucking Poppins, Devil Woman, Dirty Wet Pussy, Seen Your Panties, Just Sherri, Groper, Just Rachel, Sex Toys for Tots, Dick Fingers, Smells Like Hash Spirit, Jewels of Duh-Nile and . . .? Our hare for today was none other than Port-a-Ho who loves to celebrate her birthday each year by having us hashers entertain her by participating in all manner of crazy games. And so, to gear up for our impending feats of athleticism, we lubed-up with plenty of beers, gorged on mini bags of chips and donned some springy-antenna headbands provided by our hare. Our RA for the day, Mary Fucking Poppins eventually got us to shut the fuck up long enough for Port-a-Ho to provide a detailed chalk-talk for our virgin, Just Rachel who was made to cum by our friendly visitor from the north, Sex Toys for Tots. The hare explained that there would be the usual flour dots, perhaps a Check and a Check-Back of unknown number, but the only thing that any of the rest of us heard was that there would be 3 Beer Nears. Since Port-a-Ho was live-haring, she requested that we continue to drink and limber-up while she got into her car with her bag of flour to mark the trail, as this is how she rolls. We happily obliged and after a few minutes, took some beers for the road to fuel our journey to seek out more beer. On-On! Just Chris, who was FRB for most of the evening led the way as we followed marks a few houses down on Smalleys Dam Road until we came to, surprise-surprise, our first Beer Near at the abode of neighboring hashers, Wet Lay and Bunion Butt. Thankfully, we were able to replenish our beers after our long, arduous trek whilst we gazed at the familiar set-up of tiny wooden chairs in the yard. As Port-a-Ho explained, our first game would be musical chairs with a twist, as the chairs were in a more-or-less figure-8 and we were to criss-cross each other in the hopes of getting a chair once the music stopped before being viciously bumped-out and eliminated by another hasher. Port-a-Ho’s music speaker wasn’t loud enough, so she resorted to singing while we traipsed around the slowly-dwindling figure-8. One-by-one, hashers were eliminated with Digital Dick turning one of the chairs into firewood and the last hand-full of hashers donning blindfolds to make things just that much more interesting. Finally, Spunk Monkey was declared the winner after edging out the last remaining competitor, Just Rachel who had shown impressive virginal prowess. And so, after our hare was given a two-minute head-start (head?) to continue the difficult task of auto-haring, we were on-out to find more beer. On-On! Once us slobs moseyed on down the driveway, we discovered that the Beer Near had been replaced by a Check-Back-Check which led us back to the home of the hare. From here, marks continued in the opposite direction on Smalleys Dam Road and had us crossing Old Baltimore Pike and making our way to a park where our next Beer Near awaited. There in the grass was a row of several big, colorful spongey dice. Our objective was to form lines of two teams facing each other and when the signal was given, run like hell toward the dice and beat the shit out of the people on the other team, dodge-ball style. And so, the game of Dodge-Dice unfolded and resulted in Vomit Comet’s sunglasses getting knocked off her face, Bumpy Beaver holding onto her dice for dear life saying she was too scared to throw it, and Port-a-Ho continuing to throw dice after dice, despite being hit several times. After the smoke cleared, the winning team emerged consisting of Skids, Pube, Sex Toys, Jewels and a few others that were still standing. Alas, it was time to drag the cooler of beer over toward the basketball court for our final Beer Near. On-On! Once we managed to drag our asses across the park, Port-a-Ho emerged with a container of raw eggs and we all knew what that meant. We were to pair up, face our partners and toss an egg back and forth while taking large steps backward each round and trying desperately not to end up with yolk on our faces. Spunk Monkey yelled out directions to us so that everyone was in a straight line and not cheating, more or less. One by one the eggs were smashed onto the ground, various body parts or inadvertently stepped-on until the team of Do Me On the Beach and Just Rachel emerged victorious. Finally, as the sun was setting, we grabbed some more beers for the road to fuel our rugged journey back from whence we came. After everyone managed to make it back safe and sound, more or less, RA Mary Fucking Poppins insisted that we quit fucking around and form some semblance of a circle to commence the singing, insulting, accusing and other-assorted name-calling. Just Sherri managed to edge out Just Chris for FRB, so got to drink for over-achieving. Interuptuses drank for not showing up until fun and games were to be had. Our virgin, Just Rachel drank for being introduced to hashing in a most unique way, along with our becoming-like-an-old-friend visitor, Sex Toys for Tots who until recently didn’t think anything fun could come out of northern Delaware. The winners of the games drank while we saluted them for being #1. And of course, our hare drank several times for her shitty trail, auto-haring and having a birthday for which she received a very enthusiastic side-side. Finally, MFP shut down the shit-show before Woody could utter a word and the hash and the neighbors finally got some peace. Following circle we enjoyed some succulent chicken, rice, cheesy sauce, and salad as well as birthday cake to celebrate Port-a-Ho’s 5-0, and somehow or other we managed to leave a few beers behind. All in all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1205 this Wednesday, the last Wednesday hash of 2017.On-On!NecroPheelMeUp | |