Hitting save is very important... database sync isn't working and I am lazy
|What:||Hockessin Hash #1335|
|When:||Feb. 8, 2020|
|Where:||305 Rocky Run Parkway, Wilmington, DE|
|What: Hockessin Hash #1335|
When: Saturday, February 8, 2020 at 3:00pm HST
Where: The parking lot BEHIND the Olive Garden on 202 (305 Rocky Run Blvd, Talleyville, DE 19803)
Who Hare: Spit Bucket
What Else: We haven’t had a long one in a while ... so Eagles, expect 7-8 miles. Turkeys maybe 4.5 miles.
Friendlys: Trail, yes. Apres, no.
Hash Cash: $7
D'erections: From 202 North or South, turn onto Rocky Run Blvd, go past restaurants , and loop around to rear parking lot. See smelly hashers and park.
Dirty Wet Pussy
Do Me On the Beach
Mary Fucking Poppins
Up Piss Creek
|Hash Trash for Hockessin Hash #1335|
So, the slobbering pack gathered up on Rocky Run Parkway behind the Red Lobster, the Olive Garden, and The Green Turtle on the fine Saturday afternoon of February the 8th, 2020 AD.
Hashers I remember being present at some point included: Slutmaster, Woody, Pickle Dick, Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Do Me on the Beach, Circle Jerk w/ Fast Eddie, Mary Fucking Poppins, Up Piss Creek, Groper, Dirty Wet Pussy, Devil Woman, Bitchard, Porta’Ho, Lego Ego (renamed something like Cunty McCuntface Asstorneys at law at the Christmas Hash) and many, many others.
Our Hare of the day was Spitbucket, who took up the honors and had planned initially to hare a 5 mile long Turkey Trail and and 8 mile long Eagle. However he regained his senses on the day of realizing the median age of fitness level of our current crop of regular attendees. And so cut it down to one trail justly slightly longer than 4. And so .... those of us who were not scared of the weather and some exercise enjoyed a some brews and caught up with each other for a minute sharing our experiences of the Tornado that landed Friday. Before our hare, and RA for the day, opened up circle for chalk talk.
Our hare explained to us that trail would be marked for the most part only in white flour. That there would be one beer stop. And and a Bell stop that required every hasher upon reaching the bell to ring it until the hasher behind them caught up. There was also a little bit of shiggy, he warned us, and a guarantee that our feet would get wet, but that we shouldn’t need a life preserver. Unless, that is, you really ended up going way off trail.
And so, at the behest of our hare, we quickly chugged what was left of our brews and followed the arrow out to the Rocky Run Parkway.
We came soon to a check. And Skidmarks and Circle Jerk went off in the wrong direction for not the first time today. While Lost Penis checked left, and soon after, Spitbucket, who claimed he wasn’t going to sweeping that day, impatiently motioned to us all check-hanging that true trail was straight.
We went down further Rocky Run Parkway past behind the flooring store. And then went into the woods and into some shaggy for a little bit. And I recall there being a moderate water crossing. We went into some corn field until we came to the next check at Beaver Valley Rd. Circle Jerk claimed there were absolutely no marks going to the left. And Skidmarks found one or two going right. And both of them ended up wandering for a while our in the corn field across the road.
Once again, the impatient Spitbucket who claimed he would not be sweeping that day appeared up the road in the direction of left, the direction which Circle claimed there were no marks in and motioned for us to go that way.
We went left and found many marks which were very visible on both on the ground and on telephone polls and trees. About where Spitbucket was standing, we saw a very large arrow that he was pointing down at which directed us to go across the road. The marks took us into some shiggy and some foul smelling wetlands, though not as foul as anything you would find on a DWP birthday trail.
Meanwhile Woody stayed high and dry following the road that went around where we were fighting our way through some awfully nasty shiggy. And I had a brief thought, that maybe ... just maybe Dead End had the right idea by canceling the trail two weeks in a row in favor of sitting on a bar stool all day.
We finally came out of the wilderness and rejoined Woody on the asphalt. But back into the deep dark woods we plunged into again. Up and down a few hills we went before one by one we came across the Bell Stop, where there was a bell mounted up a tree with a rope hanging from it. And so many a hiker and mountain biker wondered why all these crazy people spent the next 20 minutes taking turns ringing the bell.
Trail went down hill for a while. And we came across a check or two. Eventually we went back into a little more shiggy and water which followed a road. A road along side of which, a vehicle belonging to Pickle Dick, who was playing Beer Meister this week, appeared to be parked. Skidmarks and Circle Jerk arrived a few minutes before everybody else and decided for some reason to continue on because the vehicle was locked. And thus it remained so until Spitbucket arrived with the keys shortly after.
And so those of us who had a few more minutes of patience enjoyed a cold brew. And the fact that it wasn’t raining for the first time all week. But soon enough we were off.
Trail went up a steep steep hill across the road. Thus leaving poor Slutmaster behind, who ended up having to auto-hash for the remainder. We came to the top and ended up on a horse-shit covered path. Than back onto the road and back off. And down a few muddy hills resulting in poor Up Piss Creek messing his trousers in the process of hash crashing. Soon after we came across Skidmarks who was doing a No! No! and who claimed he was hashing smarter not harder by going back to point A to grab a beer instead.
Soon enough trail intersected with the first false trail we found on Rocky Road Parkway where we found the On! In! mark.
One by one by two the hashers straggled back to point A. Save Circle Jerk, who, arriving early, decided to get beer at the Green Turtle.
Eventually after a few people dried off, our hare and RA for the day, Spitbucket opened up circle. Our hare drank, I think, only twice. So did Skidmarks and Circle J for all their foolishness. Up Piss Creek drank for hash crash along with everyone else who ended up bleeding at some point. Bitchard, who has lately been residing in Shanghai, until he was chased out of there by the Corona Virus, no pun intended this time, drank for interruptus. Several other people drank for several other things. And there was some significant moment involving a “Douche Nuggett” that I was requested to include in the hash trash. But I cannot for the life of me recall what was so significant about it. And then announcements were made and Woody let the hash go in peace.
After circle, we adjourned to Jack’s Tavern, formerly Famous Jack’s Tavern, but still, fortunately the home of the 3 dollar anything. Here we were joined by the auto-hashing Porta’Ho and Legal Ego, excuse me, I mean Cunty McCuntface something something something Asstorneys at Law. And our hare provided us with some wonderful pizza from Dominos, better at least, than the PB and J he was earlier threatening to feed us with. Along with some chips and some lovely spicy Guacamole dip, and some tasty pound cake from Costco. And a fine time was had.
Stay Tuned for Hockessin Hash #1336 this cumming Saturday.