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|What:||Hockessin Hash #1332|
|When:||Jan. 18, 2020|
|Where:||Fort Mott State Park, Pennsville, NJ|
Up Piss Creek
|What: Hockessin Hash #1332|
When: Saturday, January 18, 2020 at 3:00pm HST
Where: Fort Mott State Park, Pennsville, NJ. Park on "Cemetery Road" which is a right turn before the main entrance. (There’s only one way in and one way out. No gettin’ lost on trail before we start.)
Who Hare: Groper & Up Piss Creek
What Else: Expect cold, wet, and possible muddy conditions (Perfect for hashing !) so a dry bag is needed. And ... SHOES OFF AT APRES!
Friendlys: Yes at hash, not at Après.
Hash Cash: $7
D'erections: Fort Mott State Park is located at: CR-630, Pennsville, NJ. From the Delaware, take the Delaware Memorial Bridge. At Exit 1A, go right for Route 49 East towards Pennsville onto Route 49 "Broadway". Travel about 2 miles and make a right onto CR-630 "Fort Mott Road". Stop before you hit the water. Park, don all your rain/sleet/snow/hash apparel, and hash.
Do Me On the Beach
Mary Fucking Poppins
Up Piss Creek
|Hash Trash for Hockessin Hash #1332|
So the slobbering pack gathered up at the edge between federal property and state property in realm of Fort Mott Park, a park dedicated to those who served in the armed forces, in Pennsville, NJ on the fine brisk precipitous afternoon of Saturday January the 18th, 2020 AD.
Hashers I remember being present at some point included: Asshopper, Circle Jerk, Do Me on the Beach, Fast Eddie, Pickle Dick, Tinsle Tits, Lost Penis, Rugburn, Mary Fucking Poppins, Toxic Shock, Wet Lay, Bunion Butt, Long Ranger, and many, many others.
Our hares of the day were Groper and Up Piss Creek who planned this thing well in advance despite the weather and the edict posted on the sign entering the park that we had to be out of there by 4 pm.
And so some of us sipped a beer or two, but were warned to do this on a certain side of a gate as that side was federal property, because our State Park Ranger friend, known when he hashed with us as Long Ranger, told us if we did that he would not be required by his duty to bust us. And so we did that as a few pebbles of freezing rain and sleet came down though none of that was any where near as bad as the weather reports had predicted.
As we were RA-less in addition to being hash-cash-less, yours truly was voluntold to open up circle for chalk talk, just a few minutes after 3pm as our hares recommended we begin in haste since we were expected to be leaving that park by 4pm.
And so chalk talk was opened. Our hares told us to look out for flour marks colored with orange carpenters chalk. And that there would be a few checks and falses, one beer near and a Turkey Eagle Split. Though the difference in distance between the two was not going to be much and was going to include some type of physical challenge.
Groper pointed out that the arrow laid down for us was pointing in the exact opposite direction of where we needed to go, and soon enough we were off.
Trail took us down the beaten path on the road for a little while. We found a check with true trail taking us to the right, and we went passed other merry park visitors and our old buddy The Long Ranger who was still on duty but had a second to wave to us so.
We followed trail past many of the historical military bunkers and artillery pieces until we came to a check out in a field right by the Delaware River where those pesky geese seemed to number in the thousands. Fast Eddie chased many of them out onto the river. At some point, a check back 5 was found. But since the hashers, and more importantly the hares did not have the patience to figure this out we waited a few seconds to see what direction our sweeping hare, Groper decided to go in.
On! Hare! We followed Groper up some stairs and on top of some historically preserved battery fortifications. We came across a check that was decorated by the upper portion of a very large catfish caught by somebody or found washed ashore by somebody.
True trail was found going into the woods and through a little bit of shiggy. We came to another check in front of another large man made hill and true trail was found going to the right and then the left.
We followed marks down a gravel road, then the marks ceased to be appearing, Groper gave us directions again and we found true trail going along a wall which was a perimeter of a rather large and fancy memorial for veterans of foreign wars who were also residents of New Jersey. A deer, that was spotted prancing about by, got freaked out by the hashers and found its way out. We continued to follow marks around the wall until we came to a beer near and shortly after a beautiful green cooler full of brews was found.
And so we enjoyed our brews and some conversation for a few before our hares hastily pushed us back on trail so we could get out of the park on time.
Trail went back into the woods for a while and then led us to another large man-made hill. Here we came across the Turkey Eagle split. After being re-assured that the Eagle trail would not be much longer the vast majority of the pack, including people that are normally Turkey’s, such as Lost Penis followed the E up the hill. Upon reaching the crest we found instructions in orange marks commanding us to do no less than 10 pushups before proceeding on trail. And so we all gave it a good college try. While Up Piss Creek gave a good college try of filming it with his cell phone.
The marks proceeded atop the hill while those on the Turkey trail proceeded below us getting caught up in much shiggy. Eventually the marks led us down a slippery muddy slope. And by some miracle, no hash crashes or blood on trail was recorded. Though keep in mind Slutmaster was not present that day.
The Eagles met up with the Turkeys and trail proceeded back on the road for a little whiles until Groper one again directed us through a field and then into some shiggy before coming out back of the parking lot we started at.
One by one by two the hashers staggered back to point A. And seeing that we had worn out our welcome at the park by about half an hour in haste we proceeded to Gropers pad also nearby the river for the circle and the Apres'.
Upon arrival Asshopper began collecting hash cash as there was no one else to give money to, and yours Truly was again voluntold to run circle as we were also still RA less.
The down down beers were poured. Circle commenced. Awards and penalties were dished out. Songs were sung. Down-downs were done. Our hares drank once or twice. Then we proceeded with first in, last in and interruptus. Amazingly there were no auto-hashers that day perhaps do to the hazardous driving conditions. Asshopper drank for forgetting to take the tag off of his jacket and several other people drank for several other things, before announcements were made including the mandatory one about the Super Bowl party and Lost Penis played Woody that day and let the hash go in peace.
After circle we enjoyed dogs and burgers, fresh, well maybe not so fresh off the grill along with some tasty homemade mac and cheese, salad, chips, rum cake cookies and Bunions Butts home grown, home made hot sauces. And a fine time was had.
Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1333 this cumming Saturday.