I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1312 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1312 |
| When: | Sept. 4, 2019 |
| Where: | 36 Smalleys Dam Road, Newark, DE |
| Hares: | Deathwish Port-a-Ho Wishboneher | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1312, Another Birthday Hash plus a Deathwish When: Wednesday, September 4, 2019 at 6:30pm HST Where: 36 Smalleys Dam Rd, Newark, DE 19702 Who Hare: Deathwish, Wishboner, and Port A Ho What Else: Bring chairs, dry clothes, BATHING SUIT and towel. Bring a flashlight or something, in case it gets somewhat dark on trail. It's a Deathwish trail, so you know, be extra prepared with bug spray, PI protections, and maybe a PFD or body armor. What Else Too: It's the last Wednesday hash until May, starting with Crab Hash, we're back to Saturdays at 3pm. Friendlies: Not Kid Friendly or dog friendly. Hash Cash: $7 D'erections: From I -95, take Exit 3 (Route 273 East) towards Dover. Stay on 273 E, passing University Plaza on your right, for about a mile. Turn right at traffic light onto Old Baltimore Pike, then go on Old Baltimore Pike for 1/3 mile to another traffic light. Turn left at light onto Trefoil Drive, turn right at STOP sign onto Smalleys Dam Road. Find spot to park, being kind to the neighbors, then Hash. | Hashers |
| Anything Butt Asshopper Bang For Your Buck Bunion Butt Dancing Fool Deathwish Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Gaydar The Penetrator Legal Ego Lost Penis Magic Carpet Ride Mary Fucking Poppins NecroPheelMeUp Papsmear Perfect Woman Port-a-Ho PubeHeAteHer Purple Haze She Came Skidmarks Slutmaster Spit Bucket Spunk Monkey The Wetter the Better Tits of Steel Tour DePuke Triple A-hole Wet Lay Wishboneher Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Hockessin Hash # 1312 So, the slobbering pack met up in the driveway of Port-A-Ho’s house on Smalley’s Dam Road in Newark, DE on a warm, muggy, 80-ish degree evening of Wednesday, September 4th, 2019 A.D. for the Birthday + a Deathwish Hash, on this the final Wednesday hash of 2019. Hashers I remember being present at some point or other included: Skidmarks, Lost Penis, NecroPheelMeUp, PubeHeAteHer, Do Me On the Beach, Spit Bucket, Gaydar, Woody, Dirty Wet Pussy, Perfect Woman, Tits of Steel, Asshopper, The Wetter The Better, Slut Master, Tour de Puke, Just John, Pap Smear, Spunk Monkey, Professor Creekwater, She Came, Bang For Your Buck, Dancing Fool, Mary Fucking Poppins, Just Josh, Magic Carpet Ride, Purple Haze, Wet Lay, Bunion Butt and . . .? Our hares for today were birthday bimbos, Port-A-Ho and Wishboneher who recruited the notorious Deathwish to lay trail from them, because who wants to be bothered with details? Upon arrival, the wanks were greeted by Port-A-Ho, adorned in a princess crown and passing out green and orange jello shots as well as She Came and Bang For Your Buck who were passing out birthday hats, orgasmic noise makers, and shiny streamers to celebrate the occasion in style. And so, as the pre-lube revelry ensued, we downed many beers as Deathwish emerged with his moist, muddy self, sparking many debates as to whether the pack might need floatation devices, headlamps or emergency flares on trail. He threw many marks down for chalk-talk, including some askew 7’s which were supposed to be back-checks, some checks, falses, Beer Near of which there were to be two (yay!), a Turkey/Eagle or Tough/Easy split and an arrow pointing from the “Easy” mark to the H5 duo of She Came and Bang. There were other various arrows and splooges thrown about which were sure to cause mass confusion. Then Wishboneher threw some flour down and on herself to give the appearance of making an effort to hare today. Deathwish then informed us that he would need just a 6-minute Head-start which should prevent anyone from getting-off prematurely. And so, after heeding the hare’s requested time for once, the pack did get-off in their usual slothy fashion. On-On! We Head-ed on down-down the road past Wet Lay and Bunion’s abode following many, many marks leading us into the shiggy trails down-down by the river, where many of us had gone swimming last February at the infamous Mardi Gras hash.. We followed trail in single-file fashion until Pube and Just Josh came upon a Beer Near and a check-back 12, and in poor hasher form, followed the check-back 12 before bothering to check for beer. And so, the pack sheepishly followed, including several wanks who crossed the river until a few ‘sharp knives in the drawer’ asked if anyone had looked for beer. Eventually, Pube and Just Josh ran back and indeed, found a backpack with cans of sudsy goodness, which Pube ran back to a clearing for most of the rest of us to enjoy. Except for Woody, who was seen wandering around on the other side of the river, potentially seeking marks on dry land. And so, after reminiscing about plunging into the depths of this very spot in 40-degree weather 7 months ago, we thanked the powers-that-be for the humidity, chugged our brewskies and got-off again like a herd of turtles. On-On! It was apparent that trail continued on the opposite side of the river, so in true wanker fashion, many different paths were chosen through many different depths of water. “On-On” was being called in several different directions, causing some of the slobs to chase their tails for a while until the glorious sounds of “Beer Near” were heard rising above the fray. Depending on where one was, getting to the Beer Near potentially required several degrees of bush-wacking, log-traversing, dog-paddling and parkour. Some felt that they had enough of swimming and were brought beers, while Wetter and Dirty did some deep water breast-stroking. And so, once enough suds were sipped and life choices were pondered, some of the pack Head-ed on back to point A, whilst the rest followed marks Head-ing deeper into the bush. On-On! We found marks on an unstable-looking log crossing back over the river, so some of us said “no way” and jumped back into the water at various points, whilst others took their chances shimmying across the log, but eventually we all made our way precariously up the muddy bank on the other side. Here we were greeted by a mash-up of thorns and low-hanging branches, causing the pack to attempt to locate the path of least-resistance, which didn’t seem to exist. But finally, we crawled our various ways up the bank, onto the road and back to point A where the hares were waiting for us to get their party started. And so, RA’s Wishboneher and Spit Bucket circled us up in the driveway so that the shit-show could ensue. The hares were accused of trail not being long enough or wet enough and for some of the hares looking a little too clean. Several people drank for first and last in because between the eagles, turkeys and dodo’s, no one could really decide who it was. Our visitors, She Came, Bang, Tour and Pap Smear drank for not exactly being strangers and Tour was made to drink for not yet haring an H4 trail, despite repeatedly gracing us with his presence. Bunion was made to drink out of his brand new shoe for violating this rule yet again. Tits and Magic drank for female issues while Pube and Just Josh drank for forgetting to look for beer. Port-A-Ho and Wishboneher drank for turning 29 for the 20-somethingth time and after much more collective bullshit, Woody declared that the hash go in peace. Following circle, the hares treated us to some tasty spicy chicken, rice, mac-n-cheese, chips, buffalo dip and German chocolate cake and cupcakes provided by Wet Lay. Many of us crashed the nextdoor neighbor’s pool (with permission), many more beers were drank, many laughs laughed and all in all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1313, H4’s annal Crab Hash this Saturday. On-On! NecroPheelMeUp | |