I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1310 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1310 |
| When: | Aug. 21, 2019 |
| Where: | 727 Academy St, Newark, DE |
| Hares: | Jug Stain Sphincter Grease | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1310 When: Wednesday, August 21, 2019 at 6:30pm HST Where: Lewis Park, 727 Academy St, Newark, DE 19711 Who Hare: Sphincter Grease and Jug Stain What Else: You can earn a Sphincter Grease patch if you have the stomach for it. Friendlies: Trail will be dog friendly but on after will not. Not kid friendly. Hash Cash: $7 D'erections: From I-95, take Rt. 896 North/Newark exit. Stay on 896/South College Ave for 1.5 miles. After going over Amtrak bridge, take the next right onto Kells Ave. Take the 2nd right onto Academy St. Parking at the park will be to your left. Park, matriculate, and hash. | Hashers |
| 7th Hole Asshopper Beulah Ball-Breaker Big Left Tit Closing Time Cousin It Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach F6 Gaydar The Penetrator Jug Stain Lost Penis Mount Me NecroPheelMeUp Perfect Woman Pickle Dick Port-a-Ho PubeHeAteHer Skidmarks Sphincter Grease Spit Bucket The Wetter the Better Tits of Steel Up the Rear Wishboneher Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Hash Trash for Hockessin Hash #1310 So, the slobbering pack met up in the parking lot next to Lewis Park on Academy Street in destination Newark, DE on a warm, muggy, somehow minus any thunderstorms, 90-ish degree evening of Wednesday, August 21st, 2019 A.D.Hashers I remember being present at some point or other included: Skidmarks, Lost Penis, Mount Me, Cousin It, NecroPheelMeUp, PubeHeAteHer, Do Me On the Beach, Spit Bucket, Beulah Ball Breaker, Big Left Tit, Wishboneher, Gaydar, Up the Rear, 7th Hole, Closing Time, F6, Woody, Dirty Wet Pussy, Perfect Woman, Tits of Steel, Port-A-Ho, Asshopper, The Wetter The Better, Pickle Dick, and . . .? Our hares for today were our pals from up north in Philly, Jug Stain and Sphincter Grease who promised to distribute a special patch to anyone daring enough to drink a Sphincter Grease shot, the contents of which we would discover later. So, we took over the entire parking lot and observed some locals playing tennis whilst slurping some suds and waiting for all the wanks to wander in. Our hares threw down some marks for chalk-talk and since both RA’s, Wishboneher and Spit Bucket were present today, they doubly yelled us together in an attempt to have us pay attention to what was in store for us this evening. Our hares explained that this would be the best trail we would do all day and would include flour splooges with smatterings of breakfast cereal in them, green chalk arrows, checks, Turkey/Eagle or Tough/Easy split, and most-importantly, 2 Beer Nears to keep us hydrated on this soupy evening. We were also told that the Falses were not marked, so if we didn’t see marks after half a mile, we should probably turn back. And so, we chugged the remainders of our beers and Head-ed on out of the park following the many arrows pointing us toward Academy Street where we found flour and cereal leading us ... On-On! We meandered here and there around some apartments and student housing areas till we came to a check at the South College Ave bridge. Tits of Steel found marks goin’ south, so we Head-ed down, down till we came to the Turkey/Eagle split. The Eagles took a lovely tour of U of D’s outdoor gardens, pool, ball fields and stadium areas whilst the Turkeys simply Head-ed straight in the most logical direction. The two packs were reunited and it feels so good back on South College Ave and eventually picked-up marks on Chestnut Hill Road toward the abode of Asshopper and Wetter. On-On! Past Art Lane we Head-ed and down, down into Rittenhouse Park where we picked up trail over the bridge to the opposite side of the creek and eventually had to wade in the water, back across the creek to get to the Beer Near, except for Woody who decided to skip this whole wading in the water operation, as usual. When yours-truly arrived at said Beer Near, it looked like a poisoning scene from a Shakespearean play. There were the hares holding court over their Sphincter Grease shots (aka, Malort + 1000-proof hot pepper sauce strong enough to burn through metal) and 3 wankers (Port-A-Ho, PubeHeAteHer, and Mount Me) in various stages of writhing on the ground, moaning, and vomiting. Thus, most of the rest of us opted for the beer option whilst preparing to call 911 if needed. Dirty, who managed to find ice cream on trail again, also indulged, but without incident and wondered what all the fuss was about. Then there was Perfect Woman who managed to get some of the hot sauce on his hand, then used said hand to pull his dick out to pee, and incidentally discovered what the Clap feels like. And so, waist-deep into the creek went Perfect Woman, which probably produced a cloud of steam. He was joined by Pube, who submerged himself completely while Wetter, Beulah, Dirty and Jug Stain (with her inflatable ‘Norwhal’) simply played in the water and the rest of us took selfies. Finally, after checking everyone’s vital signs and determining that a rescue operation was not needed (yet), we waded, staggered, or limped back across the creek, climbed up the bank and Head-ed on out down the trail. On-On! Eventually we popped out of the park and found marks crossing Chestnut Hill Road and into some remote, uninhabited, barren field/lot near U of D water tower. Here was laid the ‘Death Star’ of marks, according to the hares, which were basically a smattering of marks all over the place that caused us to run around aimlessly chasing our tails for a while, trying to piece them together until we eventually found the second Beer Near mark. We had to wait for the car of hares and auto-hasher to arrive with the beer, including Port-A-Ho who was still trying to recover in the back of the car. She did manage to find a pair of boxing gloves in the car and rallied enough to lay a few targeted blows on Sphincter Grease. And so, as the sun began to paint a beautiful picture behind the haggard band of loudmouths, we Head-ed on out toward the commuter train line. On-On! The hares took us up and down the train bridge, then routed us back to the bike path which led us to the On-In and back to the park where some die-hards were still playing tennis. Once everyone returned, Wishboneher and Spit Bucket commenced circle around the tailgate of the toaster-beer-mobile. The hares were made to drink many times for trying to kill people or at least create serious medical emergencies on trail. Spit Bucket drank for being first in, while Tits, Wetter and Up the Rear shared DFL honors. Pube, Mount Me and Port-A-Ho drank for near-death experiences on trail while Perfect Woman drank for acquiring 2nd degree burns on his dick. Woody was called out for managing to stay dry (from the creek, not the humidity) and for also leaving his trunk open for all to enjoy while we were on trail. Big Left Tit, Up the Rear, Cousin It, Mount Me and a few others drank for interuptusing and wishing they had stayed away. Port-A-Ho was honored for her boxing skills and finally, Pickle or Woody or both declared that the hash should go in peace. Following circle, Pat’s Pizza was chosen for the après spot over the Deep Park, though Port-A-Ho didn’t get the memo till a while later. We all enjoyed pitchers and towers of beer, fries, and party pizza (minus the hot sauce) and all in all it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1311 this Wednesday. On-On! NecroPheelMeUp | |