I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1303 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1303 - H4 Goes Hawaiian! |
| When: | July 10, 2019 |
| Where: | Middle Run Valley Natural Area Possum Hollow Rd, Newark, DE |
| Hares: | Bumpy Beaver Perfect Woman Weird Al Spanks the Bitch | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1303, H4 Goes Hawaiian! When: Wednesday, July 10, 2019 at 6:30pm HST. Where: Middle Run Valley Natural Area Who Hare: Bumpy Beaver and Weird Al Spanks the Bitch and Perfect Woman What Else: Put on your grass skirts, your shell or coconut bikinis (or better yet, just your tiniest bikini), your tackiest Tommy Bahama shirt, and of course, make sure to get lei-ed. It's an Aloha Apres -- a luau with rum and beers (of course), and maybe prizes for the Tiniest Bikini and Tackiest Tommy Bahama Shirt. And be ready to limbo the night away! Friendlies: Probably, if they're dressed to go to a Luau ... Hash Cash: $7 D'erections: Follow directions to the Tri-State Bird Rescue. Before you get to the Bird Rescue, take a left into the New Castle County park/Middle Run Valley Natural Area. Aloha! | Hashers |
| Asshopper Bumpy Beaver Bunion Butt Closing Time Dancing Fool Dead End Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach F6 Gives It Away Groper Hare Today Cum Tomorrow Lost Penis Mary Fucking Poppins Mount Me NecroPheelMeUp Nip Fuck Perfect Woman Port-a-Ho PubeHeAteHer Shuttlecock Skidmarks Slutmaster Spit Bucket Spunk Monkey The Wetter the Better Turd Blossom Two Buck Fuck Weird Al Spanks the Bitch Wet Lay Wishboneher Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Trash for Hockessin Hash #1303 -- the Luau Hash So, the slobbering pack met up and took over the parking lot of the bird sanctuary area of Middle Run Park in destination Newark, DE on a warm, sunny, mid 80-ish degree evening of Wednesday, July 10, 2019 A.D. for the ‘H4 Goes Hawaiian’ hash. Hashers I remember being present at some point or other included Mary Fucking Poppins, NecroPheelMeUp, PubeHeAteHer, Do Me On the Beach, Asshopper, The Wetter the Better, Dirty Wet Pussy, Wet Lay, Bunion Butt, Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Groper, F6, Closing Time, Wishboneher, Gives It Away, Two Buck Fuck, Turd Blossom, Spit Bucket, Mount Me, Spunk Monkey, Port-A-Ho, Nip Fuck, Dancing Fool, Hare Today Cum Tomorrow, Slut Master, Woody, Dead End, Shuttlecock and . . .? Our hares for today were the over-achieving trio of Perfect Woman, Weird Al Spanks the Bitch and Bumpy Beaver, who thought it would be a great idea to hare two weeks in a row. This week’s venue was in the familiar, near-backyard of Bumpy and Weird Al – Middle Run Park, which the wanks overran, providing some colorful flair to the normal landscape of mountain bikers and hikers. Since this was dubbed the Luau Hash, Bumpy made sure everyone got ‘leid’ and also provided some bright grass skirts and a very blue Blue Hawaiian drink for us all to lube-up on. Many of the wanks had cum with their own flair of Hawaiian shirts or in the case of Gives It Away and Turd Blossom, coconut bras. To add to the festive mood, the hares had laid trail in bright orange flour (in case it snowed), so our fair-weather RA, Wishboneher yelled us together for chalk-talk to learn what fun awaited us. Perfect Woman and Weird Al explained that there would be the ‘standard’ marks of flour blobs, checks, falses, a Beer Near (yay!) and a Turkey/Eagle split, which walkers were advised to avoid the Eagle if they expected to return in the daylight. Dancing Food chimed-in, reminding us that there would be a roving Margarita on trail (which we would never see). Perfect Woman also said there would be a ‘special’ mark for the Eagles that they would understand when they saw it. And so, that being clear as mud, we followed the true-trail arrow into the trail directly behind us. On-On! Up and down the windy trails of Middle Run we traveled, encountering some checks along the way, which MFP seemed to be guessing mostly correctly. We crossed over the park road entrance and head-ed further into the trails as the humidity continued to engulf us. Soon we encountered the Turkey/Eagle split, with the turkeys head-ing across a bridge and the eagles head-ing straight. It wasn’t long before we encountered that ‘special’ mark that Perfect Woman had mentioned, in the form of a ‘check-back-check.’ And so, we chased our tails backwards across a different bridge and found some discreetly-laid marks on the backs of trees. On-On! Huffing and puffing and sucking air we were as we followed marks up a switch-backy hill where we discovered the glorious Beer Near mark shortly thereafter. Of course, similar to last week, the Beer Near wasn’t exactly ‘near,’ and we had yet to make it up another hill to the familiar Presbyterian church parking lot, which has hosted many a Beer Near for us. Since no hares were to be found, we waited impatiently until Lost Penis said, “Hey, why don’t you try opening Bumpy’s car over there?” Um ... yeah, so the car was indeed unlocked with plenty of beer and more Blue Hawaiian drink waiting for us. Bumpy and Just Mary joined us shortly thereafter along with Weird Al and Perfect Woman who was happy we eagles hit his ‘special’ mark. F6 hobbled in with a gnarly-looking bloody knee, explaining that he hit a root whist chasing the eagles down. And so, he enjoyed his liquid medicine in a can whilst we all wondered whatever happened to Dancing Fool. On-On! And once Do Me had enough of waiting, she got us moving back in the direction from whence we had cum until we picked up trail leading us back to the bird sanctuary.. Dirty managed to skewer herself with some thorns while picking wild raspberries and ended up with some trails of blood down her leg. Before long, we hit the On In and found Dancing Fool waiting for us in the parking lot, explaining that he had done all of trail, just some of it backwards. Pretty sure that was the handle of Margarita talking. And so, once everyone had returned and we were joined by the auto-hashing Mount Me, Spunk Monkey, Cousin It, Port-A-Ho, and Nip Fuck, we gave them all sweaty hugs and jumped into our cars to caravan to Bumpy and Weird Al’s house for circle. We descended upon their festively-decorated luau-themed backyard and formed a circle where a bunch of wanks were already sitting and refusing to move. RA, Wishboneher, called the hares into circle who were made to drink for being over-achievers by laying back-to-back trails. Despite this, they were nominated to continue haring through the rest of the month, however they respectfully declined by saying ‘no fucking way.’ Dancing Fool was made to drink for being FRB despite losing trail and being MIA for most of the evening. Hare Today got DFL honors and was also made to drink with the interptuses, which consisted of about a third of the pack. The Wetter the Better drank a Blue Hawaiian down-down to match her tail for being the only mermaid in circle. F6 drank for his epic hash crash and the auto-hashers drank for being clean and smelling fresh. Wet Lay drank for jumping straight to announcements and inviting us to a happy hour she is catering. And finally, at the close of business, Woody bid us to go in peace. Following circle, our hosts treated us to a scrumptious spread of pulled-pork, pineapple and pork skewers, salad, rice, pasta salad and a berry dessert made by Wetter. Some cigars were smoked, more beers were enjoyed, much revelry was had and all in was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1304 this Wednesday. On-On! NecroPheelMeUp | |