I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1294 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1294 |
| When: | May 8, 2019 |
| Where: | 1704 N Park Dr, Wilmington, DE |
| Hares: | Spit Bucket | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1294 When: Wednesday, May 8, 2019 at 6:30pm HST Where: 1704 N Park Dr, Wilmington, DE 19806 Who Hare: Spit Bucket What Else: IMPORTANT! At gate for complex, tell security guard on intercom that you’re here for the hash. If he happens to ask who the resident you’re visiting is, tell him Chris in 105. Proceed to 2nd high rise and I’ll show you where to park. Carpooling would be greatly appreciated. What Else 2: There will also be water so a dry bag is recommended. And sorry for any re-tread trail. Had to ditch previous plans due to loss of co-hare and family emergency. Friendlies: No dogs or kids. So basically unfriendly. Hash Cash: $7, which includes beer AND wine. D'erections: From 95N, take Exit 7 for Delaware Ave then .2 miles and make left on Delaware Ave. Then 2nd right onto N Van Buren. Go .4 mi and take left (veer left) onto N Park Dr (zoo on your right). Go .5 mile to security gate for Brandywine Park Condominiums. From 95S, take Exit 7B for Delaware Ave and make quick right onto Gilpin Ave (well before light on Delaware Ave). Then right onto N Van Buren and follow rest of directions from above. From anywhere else, use GPS. See Important above. | Hashers |
| Asshopper Bunion Butt Cousin It Dancing Fool Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Gaydar The Penetrator Jewel of Duh-Nile NecroPheelMeUp PubeHeAteHer Spit Bucket Spunk Monkey The Wetter the Better Triple Whore Score Vomit Comet Wet Lay Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Trash for Hockessin Hash #1294 So, the slobbering pack met up in the gated, off-limits-without-the-secret-password parking lot of Brandywine Park Condos in no-riff-raff north Wilmington, DE on a cloudy, mid 60-ish degree evening of Wednesday, May 8, 2019 A.D. Hashers I remember being present at some point or other included Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Do Me On the Beach, Dirty Wet Pussy, Asshopper, The Wetter the Better, Cousin It, Vomit Comet, Triple Whore Score, Spunk Monkey, Gaydar, Woody, Dancing Fool, Jewel of Duh-Nile and . . .? Our hare for today was newly-appointed RA, Spit Bucket who appeared from the other side of one of the many fences in this area attempting to keep out those seedy degenerates your mother warned you about. Spit Bucket looked like he had crawled out of a mud pit, though he assured us he was just impersonating a pig and that we would not end up looking like him (thankfully) and would just get wet. And so as we pondered this bit of foreboding news, we sipped on an assortment of premium suds (or the usual swill) whilst Spit Bucket threw down some marks for chalk-talk and we watched the later-cumming Woody attempt to cram his vintage Saab into the last-remaining spot of this out-of-the-way parking lot. Our marks were to consist of the usual flour blobs, which we were instructed to look for on trees, some chalk marks, checks in the form of a circle, falses (which could appear after many, many marks), a song-stop, a turkey/eagle split (in which the eagle trail was described as ‘interesting’) and the all-important Beer Near. Spit Bucket further explained that he had gone over the marks after it had rained (which had us questioning why he would have marked the trail last Sunday), so he assured us that it was very well-marked. But since those assurances are almost always lost on a dim-witted herd of sheep, we followed the true-trail arrow straight into the locked fence ... until gate-keeper, Spit Bucket magically opened the forbidden entrance to Alapocas Run State Park. Aaah ... On-On! And so, with Cousin It leading the way, we Head-ed down the paved path till we came to a check where Pube went right into a grassy field where a nice loop had been mowed for him while the rest of us continued straight down the path till a true-trail arrow pointed us right up a giant hill near the rock-climbing walls. Do Me and Wet Lay said “uh-uh,” and Head-ed straight in hopes of finding a better way while the rest of us trudged and clawed our way up the ginormous climb to the titty-top where a song check awaited. We tried not to stand too close to the edge as we took in the view of the new construction on the other side of the river. Once everyone had slogged their way to our location, including the late-cumming Jewel of Duh-Nile, Dancing Fool passed around some florescent green liquor that had cum from god-knows-where as we broke out into an arousing rendition of “Why were they born so beautiful ...” before checking to the right (since Cousin It tipped us off that he already found the False in the other direction). On-On! We checked left just before Alapocas Drive and several FRB’s Head-ed wrongly down the hill where Do Me had just discovered a False while doing a No-No. So, we Head-ed back uphill, crossed Alapocas Drive further into the park and soon followed an arrow into the shiggy and eventually into the creek where we discovered flour blobs on rocks marking our watery trail. And so, we cooled off in the creek and the entire pack checked wrongly through a tunnel, much to the delight of the hare. Several wanks came out on an embankment and realizing their mistake, tried to back-track by land, but were thwarted by a giant stone wall. By this time, Pube and Jewels were calling “On-On” on the other side, but there was nothing left to do but back-track through the tunnel, so ... On-On! Once everyone was back on trail up the other fork in the creek, the hare appeared wondering where everyone had been. Fortunately, we caught up to Jewels and Pube who were already sipping on some suds at the Beer Near as well as a pint of Fireball. We were then told that this was the turkey/eagle split, so the eagles should not linger too long or risk cumming back in total darkness, so we were shoed-away by the hare whilst the turkeys lingered over their beverages and bid us, “smell ya later.” On-On! And so, the eagles waded in the creek some more until the marks popped us out up an embankment to the paved path by Blue Ball Barn. Here the hare toyed with us for a while having us chase our tales in a winding path until we Head-ed down school road past Pube’s place of employment and into a parking lot behind the Lower School. We got confused by some paint splotches until Jewels found trail Head-ing down a precariously steep, branch-covered embankment that landed us on the paved path adjacent to Spit Bucket’s complex. We gave the finger to the unfinished fence that was doing a poor job of keeping the ruffians at bay and ran past the gate to join the rest of the pack at the On-In who were already well into a few beers by then. And so, our RA and hare, Spit Bucket commanded us to shut-the-fuck-up and circle-up at the end of the parking lot so we could ridicule him for his shitty trail, which we happily obliged. Pube drank for FRB whilst Woody and yours-truly drank for DFL of the eagle trail and Vomit Comet and Triple Whore Score drank for DFL of the turkey trail. We were joined by the auto-hashing Wishboneher who arrived just in time to drink a down-down and Triple Whore Score drank for a spectacular hash-crash. Gaydar and Spunk Monkey drank for interuptus while Spit Bucket drank again for using nerd-names on trail. A few more down-downs were finished up for reasons unknown and then, Dancing Fool magically appeared on the wrong side of the locked fence. Spit Bucket graciously let him in so he could do a down-down and finally, Woody was coerced into dismissing us with his usual “may the hash go in peace.” Following trail, we were joined by Night Deposit and led into the basement room of Spit Bucket and Night Deposit’s condo building where we were provided with a scrumptious spread of grilled-cheese sandwiches in several varieties, brussels-sprout salad, tortilla chips, watermelon and more beer, more beer, more beer. We enjoyed the outdoor patio as well, imagining a view of the river from our vantage point of darkness and much revelry was had. And all in all in was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1295 next Wednesday. On-On! NecroPheelMeUp | |