I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1236 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1236 - "Padre Jose's" Virgin Trail |
| When: | April 7, 2018 |
| Where: | 400 Wanamaker Avenue, Essington, PA |
| Hares: | Groper Up Piss Creek | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1236, "Padre Jose's" Virgin Trail When: Saturday, April 7, 2018 at ... ALERT, ALERT, 2:30pm PRE LUBE at the tavern, PACK OFF AT 3;00PM SHARP! (Why? Before the "Wall" is built!) Where: Lehman's Tavern, 400 Wanamaker Avenue, Essington, PA 19029 (Back parking lot near railroad tracks.) Who Hare: Groper and Up Piss Creek What Else: Gringos and Gringets, Senors and Senoritas, Amigos , drop the Chalupa, get off your asses and join us for "Padre Jose's" Virgin Trail!!!. Sombreros, Panchos, and other Mexicana Expected! Dry Bags Suggested. Friendlies: Dogs, trail - No, apres, Yes. Hash Cash: $7 D'erections: From Delaware, take I-95 North to Exit 9 towards Essington. Go through traffic light and turn left into back parking lot. From Philly, take I-95 South to Exit 9 towards Essington. Go through the traffic light and turn left into back parking lot. In case, Up Piss Creek's cell , Groper's cell | Hashers |
| Biatch Big Left Tit Bunion Butt Butt Lite Cousin It Dead End Digital Dick Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Fucking In Tents Groper Hare Today Cum Tomorrow Lost Penis Mary Fucking Poppins NecroPheelMeUp Orgy-Porgy-Put-In-Pie PubeHeAteHer RaidR SCAB Skidmarks Spunk Monkey Toxic Shock Up Piss Creek Wet Lay Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Trash for Hockessin Hash #1236 – “Padre Jose’s” Virgin Trail So, the slobbering pack met up in the back parking lot of Lehman’s Tavern in fly-over town Essington, DelCo, PA on a brisk, chilly, low 40-ish degree afternoon of Saturday, April 7, 2018 AD for a festive, Mexicana-themed trail, because we needed some warm thoughts on a day like today. Hashers I remember encountering at some point or other included: Skidmarks, Lost Penis, PubeHeAteHer, NecroPheelMeUp, Cousin It, Do Me On the Beach, Mary Fucking Poppins, RaidR, Biatch, Digital Dick, Butt Lite, Dead End, Just Corey, Just Kristi, Orgy Porgy Put-In-Pie, Woody, Toxic Shock, Big Left Tit, Dirty Wet Pussy, Spunk Monkey, Just Sue, Just Carlos, SCAB, Fucking In Tents, Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Hare Today Cum Tomorrow and ...? Our hares for today were Groper and Up Piss Creek, who was having some anxiety over his virgin lay. Everyone gets nervous their first time, but we all advised him to have a beer, relax and just take it all in. To enhance the mood, several in the pack added their own flair to the suggested Mexican theme by donning various ponchos and stylish sombreros which were further accented with some stick-on, multi-colored mustaches provided to everyone by the hares. So, while we inconspicuously pounded some beers in the parking lot, the hares prepared to explain just what to esspect in Essington today. Up Piss Creek advised us to beware of various creatures lurking in the shiggy, such as snapping turtles, rattlesnakes and meth-heads. We were to look for orange-tinted flour or blue chalk leading us to two Beer Nears, a song stop, a photo stop, some checks, falses, a Be Very Careless warning, two Jolly-J’s right together for the FRB’s and DFL’s and a TFB mark, which we were told meant Too Fucking Bad, aka quit-yer-bitchin and find some marks, ya wanks. And so, before the wall could be built, the running of the wankers commenced and the mustachioed amigos followed the true arrow down our happy trail. On-On! We headed down the street parallel to the railroad tracks, not finding any marks, but keeping Up Piss Creek in sight hoping he remembered where trail was supposed to go. Eventually some marks appeared and we followed them on a tour of the town, past a lot of airport parking lots, strip club, dive bars and confused locals. Spunk asked to borrow a kid’s scooter, however was told “you better run fast, slow-ass Chinese man!” so there went that idea. MFP and Pube found the Jolly-J’s near the railroad tracks and got to run them back to Lost Penis and Hare Today Cum Tomorrow. This left Orgy-Porgy as FRB, so we continued to find flour blobs, ran past a guy in a car who warned us to beware of some deer up ahead that we never saw and got hung-up on a long check until we realized that the hares had craftily marked both sides of the street in an attempt to throw us off. On-On! Fortunately, the Beer Near was indeed near, at a divey bar where we decided it was too far to run back and mark the check, so we went inside and were warmly welcomed by the regulars and Dead End. While we enjoyed our swill-of-choice, the pack eventually wandered in, including late-cumming Lost and Skidmarks who didn’t have much difficulty catching up to those taking a siesta in the back of the pack. Eventually, after we watched the Flyers score and had our fill of the hoppin local bar scene for now, it was time for the bad hombres to hit the dusty trail, so ... On-On! Trail headed us further through town where we hit some checks and had to continue paying attention to which side of the road trail went down. RaidR and Biatch appeared at some point on their bikes and we ran through a school parking lot and into a park where we encountered a picturesque photo-stop at a log cabin. After completing our mustachioed photo-shoot, we were advised by Up Piss Creek to head (who said head?) to the right and wait for everyone at the song stop. On-On! Here we hit an actual wall along I-95 which we thought might be a border-crossing, but instead, trail actually headed left along the wall at a check and eventually headed us into a shiggy, reedy area. At this point, several wankers missed the turn and headed on down the highway in the wrong direction, including Woody who figured we were all stuck in a swamp with wet feet and he was having none of that. In reality we were high and dry, or just dry and waited at the song stop marked on a long board under a tree. We yelled at the wankers walking down the highway who either ignored us, told us to go fuck ourselves or gave us the finger. So, we sang an arousing version of “Them, fuck them ....” and went on our way. On-On! We cut through some more Essington shiggy and popped back out into town until trail led us to our last Beer Near, which happened to be at Lehman’s Tavern where we were all parked. To Dead End’s delight, the ‘no smoking’ laws do not apply to Essington as we entered the bar and went back in time about 40 years. We enjoyed our brews while various wankers wondered if there would be more trail or if this was truly the end. We had yet to cross the ‘On In’ in the parking lot though, so RaidR and Biatch led us all through first on the arduous journey 10 feet back to the cars. And so, our RA, MFP began circle in the parking lot around the tailgate of the toaster-mobile. The hares drank for their shitty trail and for not being Mexican and for not having enough snapping turtles or meth-heads on trail. RaidR and Biatch drank for being FRB’s and for bashing. Our virgins, Just Sue and Just Carlos were introduced to the fine art of hashing while our visitor SCAB demonstrated how to show a body part and our other visitor Fucking In Tents told us a funny joke. Interuptuses Spunk Monkey, BLT and others drank for ignoring us and Just Corey, Toxic Shock, Fucking In Tents and others drank for managing to stay in character and keep their mustaches on through the whole trail. A bunch of wanks drank over and over for headgear and Cousin It was made to drink again for Dancing Fool’s 8-mile trail last month, because he can never drink enough for that. Then everyone wearing the same shirt was made to drink, which turned into everyone wearing clothes. While the revelry continued, one of DelCo’s finest eccentric local neighbors came out, inserted herself in the mix and actually purchased an H4 shirt, so we got some free advertising. Finally, after a few failed attempts, Woody was allowed to dismiss the hash in ‘la tranquilidad’ or peace or something. Following circle, we headed over to Up Piss Creek’s house where we enjoyed a lovely spread of chicken tacos, dirty rice, chips and my personal favorite, Sriracha as well as more beer more beer more beer. All in all, it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1237 this Saturday. On-On! | |