I am too lazy to update the web side but back end is up to date.
| Hash Details | |
|---|---|
| Hash Number: | 1083 |
| What: | Hockessin Hash #1083 |
| When: | May 20, 2015 |
| Where: | Brandywine Springs Park, Wilmington, DE |
| Hares: | Woody Woodpecker | Message |
| What: Hockessin Hash #1083 When: Wednesday, May 20, 2015, at 6:30pm HST Where: Brandywine Springs Park, at Rt. 34/Faulkland Rd. and Rt. 41 Who: Woody and ? Dog/Vergin* Friendly: Yes (*ask the hare what a vergin is). D'erections: From I-95, take exit to Rt. 141 North, and after a few miles, take the exit for Rt. 2/Kirkwood Hwy West. Then take a right onto Rt. 41 N, go about 1 mile and take right onto Rt. 34 and quick right parking lot. | Hashers |
| Asshopper Beastialidocious Bunion Butt Butthead Circle Jerk Cock a Doodle Don't Cousin It Dead End Dirty Wet Pussy Do Me On the Beach Famous Jack Fast Eddie Happy Ending Kum On Inn Lost Boy Lost Penis Magic Carpet Ride Narcigism NecroPheelMeUp Perfect Woman Pickle Dick Pissticide PubeHeAteHer Seen Your Panties Skidmarks Sporto The Wetter the Better Tinsel Tits Toxic Shock Trail Order Bride Wet Lay Wickwacker Wingnuts Wishboneher Woody Woodpecker | Hash Trash |
| Trash for Hockessin Hash #1083 So, the slobbering pack met in the parking lot of Brandywine Springs Park in a lovely side of Wilmington on a cool, comfy, mid 60-ish degree eve of Wednesday, May 20, 2015 AD. Hashers I remember being present included: Lost Penis, Skidmarks, Dead End, Wet Lay, Bunion Butt, Pissticide, Circle Jerk with Fast Eddie, Do Me on the Beach, Woody, Butthead, Kum On Inn, Trail Order Bride, Tinsel Tits, Pickle Dick, Asshopper, Wetter the Better, Necropheelmeup, Pubeheateher, Dirty Wet Pussy, Magic Carpet Ride, Perfect Woman, Cousin It with Famous Jack, Beastyaladocious, Schporto, Seen Your Panties, Cockadoodledont, Narcijizm, Wing Nuts, Toxic Shock, Wishboneher, Wickwacker, Lost Boy, Happy Ending, NFN Daniel, Just Will and . . .? Cuming out of a strongly-encouraged retirement was our Hare for the evening, Woody who was ready, willing, and able to prove why he had been forced into retiring from haring in the first place. Eventually, Skidmarks stepped forward to perform chalk-talk while some lazy fuckers grumbled about not having finished their beers as of yet. The pack was again graced with the presence of a virgin, Just Will who was made to cum by NFN Daniel. NFN Daniel seems to go through a lot of virgins, somehow coercing them into cuming with absolutely no explanation at all of what they are about to encounter. We should all be so lucky (or cunning?) as he. Our Hare so very eloquently explained the art of hashing to the virgin by pointing to his chalk marks on the ground and shouting, “Follow that!” ‘Nough said, and we were off! On-On! The pack proceeded to follow the Hare’s outstretched arms into the park and dispersed to look for some semblance of a mark. While Circle Jerk and Fast Eddie went down some trail with no marks at all (per usual), Magic Carpet Ride pointed out that perhaps we should look down another trail, where the first mark at last was discovered by Kum On Inn. After bounding down a hill, we came upon a creek. Surely we were not crossing water on a Woody trail?! But alas, apparently the Hare’s aversion to water crossings while on other people’s trails does not carry over to when he actually hares a trail, so following Skidmarks, into the water we went! We followed some marks until they ran out at another creek crossing. At this point the pack developed amnesia, for no one believed that trail could possibly cross the water again. Finally, after much dilly-dallying, circling around and staring at the creek before us, Kum on Inn discovered marks on the other side and we all plunged into the ankle-deep, murky depths. On-On!Next, Pubeheateher, NFN Daniel and Just Will discovered some marks up a road and over a guard rail into the woods again. Just Will was getting plenty of experience shouting, “On-On!” on his first trail. Little did he know, this would soon run out. Eventually, we meandered up to a road to a check where the Hare and Happy Ending were loitering on a guardrail trying to be as unhelpful as possible. After Pube found a False to the right, we all headed straight following marks until they ran out at a road. The pack dispersed in all directions and somehow the “On In!” was discovered on the other side of a guardrail. Surely it couldn’t be now?! The pack continued to stumble around zombie-style to try to discover some trace of a mark while a local resident feared that we were all searching for a body in the creek bed. At this point, a clusterfuck ensued and the pack divided itself into factions, including The Lazy, The Over-Achieving and The Blind Leading The Blind. On-On!The Lazy (not surprisingly, most of the pack) uttered a collective “Fuck it!” and followed the On-In back to the parking lot, where there was much rejoicing and beers aplenty. The Over-Achieving (Circle Jerk, Bunion Butt, Wet Lay, Toxic Shock, Tinsel Tits, Pickle Dick and who knows who else) continued up the road to look for marks that did not appear to be there. Dirty Wet Pussy doubled back, found some marks and swears she blew her whistle as haaaard and loooong as she could, but only Cockadoodledont with his canine sense of hearing followed. Apparently, however these crafty souls DID eventually find marks around Delcastle track and claimed to have done most of trail, even finding the Turkey/Eagle split and some beer on trail. Truly they were the sharp knives in the drawer. On-On!Meanwhile, The Blind Leading The Blind (Wing Nuts, Butthead, Pubeheateher, Kum On Inn and ...?) continued to search the area for marks and eventually decided to follow an apparent “No-No!” backwards from the “On In!” A brilliant idea, no? These fuckers claim to have followed marks until they ran out again and eventually followed the creek back to the end, somehow some way. Meanwhile, back at the parking lot, The Lazy were getting good and drunk while watching The Over-Achieving stagger in one by one, except for DWP, Do Me and Cockadoodledont who auto hashed in the Hare’s pathetic excuse for a vehicle to the end. Dumbfounded (or just dumb), the Hare proceeded to do a total of 4 laps around the parking lot wondering what the hell had happened and trying to explain that we had skipped about 3 miles of trail, while the rest of the pack waited for the much-delayed Blind Leading The Blind as if they were strolling back from the battlefield. Pubeheateher was the last to arrive before the natives became too restless to delay circle any longer. Soooooo…penalties and awards were dished out and songs were sung. There were so many accusations that our RA, Wishboneher had to write herself an apparent dirty laundry list. NFN Daniel and Just Will drank for first in of The Lazy, Circle Jerk for first in of The Over-Achieving and Pubeheateher for DFL of The Blind Leading The Blind, while Dead End stood in as stunt liver as we continued to wait for Kum On Inn to indeed come on in. Just Will was initiated properly as the lone virgin and somehow he and NFN Daniel ducked out before circle closed. Pissticide, our towel-clad visitor from Hotlanta sang us some crazy new songs. Skids and Narcijizm drank for having the time/ambition to dissect or deconstruct the properties of alcohol while waiting forever for the rest of the pack. Then Skids and Narcijizm were joined by Asshopper and all three drank for being highly edukayted, though no one is sure why Narcijizm remained, except to have another drink. The RA herself drank for hash-crashing in the parking lot after downing a Fireball shooter. Lost Boy drank for properly punctuating the Hare’s chalk question mark with a chalky foot stomp and Butthead drank for being Butthead. Before the setting sun, Kum On Inn graced us with her presence and did about 4 down-downs for DFL/lost-on-trail-requiring-a-search-party, technology on trail and of course, the orange race shirt that could most assuredly helped us to identify her body if the situation had required. Last but certainly not least, Woody, our illustrious Hare drank at least 5 or 6 times throughout circle for indeed laying the shittiest of shitty trails. Following circle, we all feasted upon Woody’s sausage and pork, which gave him a happy ending as darkness crept over the picnic area. All in all, it was another shitty trail. Stay tuned for Hockessin Hash #1084 this Wednesday! On! On! Necropheelmeup | |